dumb things

Perfection it is not, but I'm not sure how much more I could ask for from my friend group. I'm really, very blessed. It's already surreal to have been able to form a group of friends who met over the internet through common hobbies and musical interests, live in the same area, are all extremely talented (seriously tho-- vocals, mixing, animation, and art are all A+), are all attractive and charming in their own ways, enjoy the same tropes and dumb jokes, and click well together.

Most importantly, they're all not only genuinely good people, but good friends. The amount of support and warmth and well intentions and acceptance makes me feel so lucky to be here. Not to mention the amount of affection (shown in varying degrees and ways) and how clear everyone makes it that they love and appreciate the company of each other.

I was reminded of and revisited what I wrote in March after NYA's San Francisco adventure:

I'm also really proud of my friends. I don't think this day would've been as much fun as it was if they didn't all make such great strides in coming out of their shells. Some of us have a lot of shyness, anxiety, awkwardness, inability to express or click easily with others, fear of being loud, fear of being noticed or of garnering attention, fear to be ourselves, fear of being assertive, nervousness when in crowds, distance from others, a dislike for socializing. Sometimes it feels like there's a divide among NYA between those that are outgoing and those that aren't as outgoing, and I saw every single person that usually isn't as outgoing or has any of those traits I listed above take a step forward. By the end of the day, everyone got along greatly and didn't seem afraid. I'm so proud. :)

Since then, even greater strides have been made and more shells shattered. Of course, we're all growing and learning from experiences outside of our interactions with each other, but I really do feel as though everybody in NYA has this magnetism for bringing out the best in others. It's not even limited to us NYA members because we've seen that we've influenced those that have spent time with us, in a good way. It's really nice to see and makes me proud to be friends with such caring and cool people.

I do feel like a lot of us in the group spent most of our lives feeling as though we should suppress our true feelings and behaviors. To be honest, all of us are pretty weird in our own ways and maybe that's why we can all understand and accept each other as we are. Moreover, we see what each other has been missing from our lives and try to provide it or give a nudge towards it, and in that way, we're healing each other and building meaningful confidence. This summer especially, I've been seeing everyone mature or unlock a side to them that may have feared shameful or unworthy. In any case, I'm really happy for all of my NYA friends and happy for myself for having them. I appreciate those dumbbutts.