Posted by Eva

Saturday, June 27, 2020

at 10:22 PM
I don't know what to do with these thoughts so I'm just gonna write them here. ;o;

Firstly I want to apologize if by chance, anybody who lives outside of the US saw some of my previous posts about our current events and felt that I was shaming you for not doing enough or not paying enough attention. I know everyone has their own issues and priorities and I really don't think that "if you're not with us then you're against us" applies to the context of those not involved (though it is true for those who have power and choose not to use it)—and I realized that the tone of my posts may have sounded like that, so I'm sorry if that needlessly pressured you. TT

Admittedly some of the harshness was intentional because I was frustrated at the people around me in the US who straight up wanted to turn a blind eye and didn't understand the issues at large that permeate and harm all of our local communities.. And to be frank, I'm still frustrated that there is a revolution happening and so many people aren't doing anything/aren't able to do anything.....including myself. 😣 It was easier to have a fighting spirit before when I could keep saying that "every little bit helps"—which still does hold true and I know there's been a difference made but the reality is that it's not enough. We've definitely been seeing some good-willed, progressive change here and lots of people are listening and working on policies that protect people from those that abuse their power—but holy fuck it's scary how much it's not enough. It's SO SCARY that many authoritative people hear those voices and choose not to care, choose to blatantly continue to discriminate and oppress and be genocidal.

And why is there even still an argument about masks and the validity of a pandemic that's killed so many people????? Maybe sure, question it for the first week, but the idiocy is STILL ongoing and so many officials have just given up and/or believe that the economy is more important than human lives. God I feel fortunate to live in CA where masks are mandated and they recently paused reopening in response to cases rising, but whenever I look anywhere else........ WHAT IS HAPPENING..................... WHAT THE HELLLLL

WHAT ON THIS BLOODY EARTH CAN I DO ABOUT ALL OF THIS?? It makes me feel so helpless. We should continue to petition and email but I wish those got more mileage. I've heard of a few instances where a successful petition was referenced in helping bring about a result so yeah we should still keep signing them for the sake of those few, but we're also seeing that they're not effective collateral against everyone. Donating has been important and it's been great to see all of the success there—and now we're hitting a point where I want to be more proactive about where I'm continuing to donate because so many orgs have already been so widely supported, yay! However it'll take time for them to process all that money and put it to use; it's absolutely a good long-term investment but I'm getting impatient because bullshit is still happening every day.

It's becoming clear now that the protests are the biggest bringers of change. I'm really proud that people have been going out there consistently, even if the news no longer shows them. And I'm freaking frustrated that I can't join them and do more.

I've been thinking about how I can more directly contribute to the movement from afar, what my "lane" can be in my circumstances.... For now the answer I've come up with is that I'm determined to distribute my income as much as is reasonable. My job takes up a lot of my time (oh things have been so crazy lol) so I've started to think of it as, I'll keep working hard to make money that I can donate to people that need it more/can make a bigger difference than me. Idk how to explain that thought process without coming off as braggy—not that it's much to boast about since I'm so far removed from the frontlines—but that's why I'm trying to look into fundraisers that directly help the people on the streets or who are organizing demonstrations. I'd greatly appreciate any other leads because they've actually not been very easy to find (plus a lot of outdated posts) and I'm sure there's a lot of local orgs with a small online presence but could use help. ;;

That said, I'mma link some of the ones I've found recently in case anyone else is in the same boat and has money they can afford to redistribute. ;o;

(Not including bail funds since those are easy to find and have seen a lot of support already ^^)





(this one is London-based)



2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 28, 2020 at 1:56 PM

    What you are doing for the movement is just as impactful and valuable as those are on "the front-lines." I can see it's frustrating to you that you're not able to go out and be physically present to usher change, but there's more to a movement than just being out there. It's wonderful to be able to look through these resources and links. I can share these with others and be reassured that they've been reviewed by someone else. You provide awareness and vital information to those who may not be as well-informed.

    To me, it's important that people do something that is sustainable. You take into consideration what you can do from your point of view, even if you feel it's far removed. I would argue that your contribution would allow many more to go on your behalf to drive these changes. I love that you take into consideration the fact that everyone around you worries for your lung issues and I'm sure they support you doing what you can in other ways. A team has different key roles, after all. The front line is the spotlight, but every battle is decided before it is even fought.

    I hope your work is going well and not stressing you out. You are doing an amazing job balancing everything!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EvaJuly 2, 2020 at 6:39 PM

      T_____T I've been really struggling to come up with how to reply to your comment because I feel like it's not right for me to be praised for not doing very much in the grand scheme of things, but also I did all that preaching before about how compassion is needed to combat the burnout etc etc etc. and I hope to not take your compassion for granted. Thank you so so so much for the kind words and for reading about my thoughts and for uplifting me, and I'm glad that the links were helpful!!

      In all honesty I did not feel like I was doing a good job at balancing things in my life but this comment made me rethink it from another angle and... hm maybe I am doing better than I thought. ;^;)9

      Hope that you're doing well and taking care of yourself!

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