Youtaite Dot Com

Look at me catching up on 3 year old news! 😣✌️
Might as well while I've been bitten by the blogging bug hehe... Despite it being so outdated I felt this was an important savepoint I should record here on my personal life timeline.

Back in 2023, I'd detailed how I had spent two months painstakingly making a website!

Then I never once followed up on that...........

I am the proud primary creator of Youtaite.com! The official website of Youtaite Resources! 😊🎉

Just to make it clear: Youtaite Resources was an already existing yt channel led by Fome that uploaded video tutorials and did livestreams on various aspects of creative music projects including singing, audio mixing, organizing collabs, animating videos... I don't take any credit for those!! They have a wonderful team who worked on all their super helpful content and they are trailblazers!

And they agreed in joining up for the effort and using their branding for a website that compiles links to a bunch of youtaite-related resources in one central place!

I still cannot believe that I manually inputted text, images, and links to over a hundred blocks on a Resource Library page; then decided I actually didn't like that web builder so manually remade the entire thing on another one. Truly I did nothing else for two months. At the time I was on vocal rest due to poor throat condition, social life had slowed down, and Grand Archive TCG wouldn't publicly release until two weeks after I completed work on the site HAHAHA. You can guess what happens next in my life.

A local youtaite friend named Issui also happened to be the owner of the youtaite.com domain and had spoken with me the year prior about his ambitions for creating a site... He didn't end up having the time to get started though and was happy to transfer the domain for this cause. 🙏

Fun fact: in the interim, Issui had the link re-direct to a video of Baka Mitai LOOOOOOL

Big, big shoutout to Mathew who brainstormed ideas with me since the start and is the person who wrote the entire FAQ page!! Other members of the Youtaite Resources team gave suggestions on the site as well, so thank you to everyone who ever helped make it all take shape!

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A very special part of this website for me though is The Youtaite Timeline, which I consider to be my equivalent of a master's thesis. 😆 It took consulting with a good amount of people to put this together, taking public feedback, and also drawing from my own experiences of having joined the community in 2011 and been singing weeb songs on youtube since 2006.

If you don't want to scroll through it, the folks at OGSans turned it into a one-pager! And ... printed it out to display at a convention, which is wild!

If in case anyone needs this for a sociology paper about youtaites haha https://t.co/fzD28TNQwJ

— KiraKiraKat ✨ Voice Actor ✨ Kaigai Idol ✨ Vtuber (@kirakirakat) September 6, 2026

Sitting Spots 🪑

Hello! Crazy; it's a random blog post! In this day and age!! Wow!

There's been too much of an ongoing trend that I'll only post when negative things happen, so I thought I should also take time to document some positive updates!

I'm actually doing quite well right now. 🫶 Almost night and day from when I hit a low point in April this year which I talked about in my previous post with all my goals to "rehabilitate" my life.

Of course I haven't achieved all these goals but I've made good enough progress that it feels like a lot has been restored for me — both mentally and physically. :))) Overall I think I usually have something positive to feel about each day, and the negatives aren't on my mind too often. In fact, the intrusive voice in my brain that yaps at me about escapism might be currently asleep. I hope they have a good rest forever!

My heart hasn't sent me palpitations in half a year! And while my head nerve still bothers me, it's no longer disruptive to my life so..... dare I say, this is the closest to "normal" I've felt in a long time? I still definitely need to exercise more though.

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Speaking of which: allow me to share about my day today! I had such a shockingly normal day LOL.

It started with a yummy brunch with some friends where I got a fried chicken & croffle and matcha latte. 😁 You can tell I'm doing well when I'm able to drink my beloved matcha lattes; my heart is in fine enough condition to handle it. 

Then we watched the movie Primetime starring Robert Pattinson! That man is killing it in all his movies lately. (SOMEBODY GET THESE BEGGARS OUT OF HERE-----) Anyway, the film was enjoyable and really well produced. Practically every single shot had stunning cinematography — lots of creative stuff done! Acting and writing were phenomenal. It's beautiful when you can tell that intention has been poured into every detail in the process of making art.

Afterwards we... split up and went home? at 3 PM? on a Sunday? LOL
No plans or obligations, when I'm healthy, not recovering from a major event, AND had no deadlines to meet or any urgent project to work towards.....?

This does not happen usually. 😆 Up until yesterday I'd been working on chorus battle things, helping out with timing all the singing lines, and prior to that recording my own lines. (Yes I'm participating in a chorus battle again after 6 years; super exciting!) But last night I'd finished my part and handed the files over to Fome to start mixing.

So I decided to take advantage of having free time while the sun was out, and looked up parks I could take a walk in!

Unfortunately I touch grass so infrequently that upon seeing a nicely placed bench with a scenic view, all I can think about is that one video about the most beautiful sitting spots in Genshin Impact LMAO.

I adore this video and the person who created it, who has many other videos showcasing and analyzing various architecture in Genshin! It's amazing how they're able to see and appreciate the world around them, even if it's just the 3D models in a game...

"The simplicity of sitting in genshin impact" by Beerevity

Just lovely how they describe these "sitting spots" as intentional places where the game allows you to slow down and be immersed in the atmosphere you've earned.

Genshin Impact is still my comfort game btw. Love it, I'm caught up on the story, almost done maxing out exploration, and it's wild that we're in the endgame now! We're in Snezhnaya — the last of the seven nations that we set out to adventure in! Here's a recent sitting spot I sat in where you can watch the trains go by. ☺️

Honestly I didn't intend for the themes of this post to come full circle but they somehow do.

Today was such a healthy, pleasant, carefree day that it even slowed down enough for me to immerse myself in scenic atmospheres and sit here for a while to write an entire blog post. Which I never do anymore. Because my world moves too fast. Because my head can't stay still. My quiet sitting spot is usually nonexistent.

I would love to get back into blogging more though, not just as a way for me to unwind and put thoughts into words — but also because I miss having much of my life and projects recorded to look back on, to reminisce, to remind myself of how far I've come, to preserve anything that sparks joy to me that I may forget about later. Hopefully my motivations and life fluctuations will align more often 🤞

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Lastly, shout out to my friend Cody who accidentally triggered me into thinking a lot about this blog again... By pure coincidence he brought up journaling which led to me showing him this cursed site....... Now he knows too much about me and my darkest secrets, just like all of you kind folks on the internet that apparently read these for some reason. 😭 Thank you always!!

(A reference to my childhood magical protection spell from this post — and yes since my Grand Archive friends found out about my singing youtube channel they oftentimes call me that I HATE ITTTTTT LOL)

✨33✨

On this day, I'm officially 33 — isn't that crazy?!
Fun fact: since I was born in the year '93, three is actually my favorite number! I've always liked how it's an odd number yet it makes everything complete: the best things come in trios. 

So with certain logic, 33 is either twice or eleven times as good of a number, right? 🙂↕️✨

Each year since I turned 15, I've taken a mirror selfie with this 'Birthday Girl' shirt as an annual tradition chronicling my growth and visual changes.

Except.... last year....... I missed a year for the first time. I'm really disappointed in myself. >_< For this occasion I wanted to make sure this blog was ready in advance for my actual birthday and not late like most recent years.

Having skipped my thoughts on turning 32, let's talk about 33... Once again I'm glad that I live in the generation that I do — I really feel it personally and see all around me that "30's is the new 20's." It's almost like society has been changing to meet me in the middle, yippee!

I realized that I practically had a do-over of my personality in my twenties, and I'm still trying to "grow into my skin" of the person that I want to be. Lots of improvements to still be made, like learning to be less socially awkward and figuring out how to comfortably convey my playful sides rather than retreating into the quiet sardonicism that many are used to, yet while not being too obnoxious. Personality is hard!

Being so empowered to do all sorts of cool things makes me feel lucky. I love that I'm part of hobby communities wherein age doesn't make a difference and people from all sorts of walks can get along — both the youtaite/singing community and the Grand Archive card game community.

It's a pretty cool life I live, being able to stay active in various hobbies; and creative ones at that, where I work with a lot of my favorite people and can keep learning new endeavors. This year I've accomplished a good amount of things I'm proud of! It's not lost on me that compared to many my age who are birthing kids, raising kids, spearheading families, I've the privilege of much more freedom. And yet I still don't feel there's enough time in the world to properly engage and improve in my hobbies and skillsets as much as I'd like... I wonder if I'll ever be able to give that up. 😅 

One thing that's been tough is watching the older people around me become even older and more frail. Dynamics are shifting from me being the relier to the one being relied upon, and I need to prepare more for this soon-to-be crushing reality.

As for my goals this year! I'm currently in a self-assigned "Rehab Mode."

Over the past year my health took a big shit on my life, then combined with running around busy nonstop, feeling a lot of pressure, suffering from my own ambition as well, work burnout, emotional burnout, anger & despair over world events on the daily, the inability to relax, worrying every day that my mortal shell might give in or that I might not wake up when I go to sleep, blah blah blah blah...... I found myself at a turning point last month. 

I can't live like that anymore... Some days I felt like I was sleepwalking. But at the very least as I was faced with my own thoughts on death, I felt I would prefer to be alive and continue doing the things I'm doing so that's a positive thing!

Fried Brain Syndrome

Ok, I opened up my blog for the first time in a year and tears spilled out. T__T
I miss the version of me, the version of my life, the version of the world that used to exist back when I wrote blogs regularly......

It used to be easier to be completely honest and emotionally available and simple and selfish, to take things slower and a little more whimsically. Everything I wrote in my 2024 retrospective post I can pretty much still echo now. Thank you to anyone who has been supporting me along; I hope to do justice to your kindness when I can!!!! ;;

Regretfully this isn't a more positive post, but today I'd like to document my recent health complaints and what I'm up to this month!

TL;DR:

I think there's a nerve issue in the left side of my head, and am currently seeing a neurologist to get it diagnosed.

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Long story long, too much information version: