Fun fact: since I was born in the year '93, three is actually my favorite number! I've always liked how it's an odd number yet it makes everything complete: the best things come in trios.
So with certain logic, 33 is either twice or eleven times as good of a number, right? 🙂↕️✨
Each year since I turned 15, I've taken a mirror selfie with this 'Birthday Girl' shirt as an annual tradition chronicling my growth and visual changes.
Except.... last year....... I missed a year for the first time. I'm really disappointed in myself. >_< For this occasion I wanted to make sure this blog was ready in advance for my actual birthday and not late like most recent years.
Having skipped my thoughts on turning 32, let's talk about 33... Once again I'm glad that I live in the generation that I do — I really feel it personally and see all around me that "30's is the new 20's." It's almost like society has been changing to meet me in the middle, yippee!
I realized that I practically had a do-over of my personality in my twenties, and I'm still trying to "grow into my skin" of the person that I want to be. Lots of improvements to still be made, like learning to be less socially awkward and figuring out how to comfortably convey my playful sides rather than retreating into the quiet sardonicism that many are used to, yet while not being too obnoxious. Personality is hard!
Being so empowered to do all sorts of cool things makes me feel lucky. I love that I'm part of hobby communities wherein age doesn't make a difference and people from all sorts of walks can get along — both the youtaite/singing community and the Grand Archive card game community.
It's a pretty cool life I live, being able to stay active in various hobbies; and creative ones at that, where I work with a lot of my favorite people and can keep learning new endeavors. This year I've accomplished a good amount of things I'm proud of! It's not lost on me that compared to many my age who are birthing kids, raising kids, spearheading families, I've the privilege of much more freedom. And yet I still don't feel there's enough time in the world to properly engage and improve in my hobbies and skillsets as much as I'd like... I wonder if I'll ever be able to give that up. 😅
One thing that's been tough is watching the older people around me become even older and more frail. Dynamics are shifting from me being the relier to the one being relied upon, and I need to prepare more for this soon-to-be crushing reality.
As for my goals this year! I'm currently in a self-assigned "Rehab Mode."
Over the past year my health took a big shit on my life, then combined with running around busy nonstop, feeling a lot of pressure, suffering from my own ambition as well, work burnout, emotional burnout, anger & despair over world events on the daily, the inability to relax, worrying every day that my mortal shell might give in or that I might not wake up when I go to sleep, blah blah blah blah...... I found myself at a turning point last month.
Over the past year my health took a big shit on my life, then combined with running around busy nonstop, feeling a lot of pressure, suffering from my own ambition as well, work burnout, emotional burnout, anger & despair over world events on the daily, the inability to relax, worrying every day that my mortal shell might give in or that I might not wake up when I go to sleep, blah blah blah blah...... I found myself at a turning point last month.
I can't live like that anymore... Some days I felt like I was sleepwalking. But at the very least as I was faced with my own thoughts on death, I felt I would prefer to be alive and continue doing the things I'm doing so that's a positive thing!
