Holy SHIT THE AMOUNT OF CRAY CRAY THAT HAPPENED TODAY. So I'm on a business trip right now as the assistant/runner for support staff that are producing presentations/keynotes at a conference. My coworker and I are sharing the responsibility of running around everywhere making footage and hard drive retrievals and deliveries, but we've also picked up a ton of other tasks like food deliveries and coordinating print outs and signs and just.. so many things. We were constantly running from end to end of the huge convention center, to separate hotels, all around downtown...
Today was just a lovely pattern of setback after setback, misunderstandings, nonresponsive people, tooooonssssssss of walking, SO many ridiculous last minute requests that should not be my job, something coming up every time I think I'm done with work, JUST. EVERYTHING GOING WRONG IF IT CAN. SCREAMS.
And the cherry on top.... I was about to leave the convention center today--it was kind of late so I was hoping the catch rhe tail end of crew dinner—when my boss asks if I'm still there and if I can go talk to the on-site medical office because....my coworker whom I've been running around with .. is having a medical emergency. And god I feel so bad for her. Our jobs have been tough the past two days. We spent the next 3 hours of our lives revolved around that medical office..... Of course, I was doing work the whole time because more stuff came up orz This is insanity.
Another year, another 100 'resolutions' to forget about. Kidding—it's still nice to reflect and figure out things to be improved or completed, however long they take. :> It's something I've done every year since 2009! So here we go, the struggle to come up with 100 begins again.....
I feel like I'm usually so late with these, but I had a 2-day-long power outage.
My memory is so bad now honestly LOL I'm not sure if my answers will be accurate. If anything, I think in 2016, I became more of an adult. ;u;
1. Has always been #1 since I started these resolutions in 2009: Be happy. :) Overall I think this was one of my better years emotionally and I can say with confidence that I was pretty happy. ^^ I had some slumps and rough transitions, but I made it through them all and everything's been pretty good since August!
2. Stop sleeping so late..
Oh my god I slept at 5 AM this morning 3. And waking up so late...
Oh my g
4. And being late for everything omg just stop pls
!!! Look at this super cute art by Nami (@latteti) !!!! I love the way she uses colors; it's sparkling and such a delight to look at. And the way she makes hair flows, just everything! QUQ
Plus the best surprise bonus ever--the outfit is Lovelyz's Candy Jelly Love school uniform aaaaa bless Nami
If you follow my twitter, you may have seen me stressed out all the past two weeks because of a certain work project (from hell) I've been knee-deep in and is killing me inside and out. Today my mom asked if I was wearing reddish make-up, but it's actually just my stressed out sleep-deprived dead-from-crying-and-eye-rubbing exhausted eyebagged skin. :'DDDDDDDD I've been having to work 8 to 12 hour days every day—most of which are spent frustrated and internally screaming—and even had to work on Saturday. I went in at 1 PM with expectations of staying for an afternoon, but so many problems arose that I couldn't leave until midnight. So mad. Oh, and it was New Year's Eve so that was lovely fun.
I wish I could say it's over, but the deadline's in 4 days. Frankly, I just hope that the worst has passed. It must have...rightt?T???? ???!!?! SCREAMS
In much, much happier news!!! One of the collabs that resulted from my participation in PRODUCE90 (k-pop cover competition that happened in the summer) was released for New Year's!! It's got all of the Gemini girls, some friends that I've known for yeaaars, and some new friends I was able to make because of P90. Makes me happy to be in k-pop collabs again *Q*
【TorangiPop】 I.O.I 「Dream Girls」【Cover】 [Eng Sub] (Happy New Year!!)
Oh hello there blog. I'm just going to vaguely refer to how busy stressful life has been lately because I don't have time to write much BUT HEY LOOK AT THIS SHINY BRIGHT LIGHT. Four members of Gemini did a spontaneous short cover of a fhana song for Peace's birthday!!! (Peace is a very sweet person that we're very fond of––he's been super supportive of Gemini and we tied for 3rd place during LSO with his group Magicolle whom we're also quite fond of ^^)
【Gemini 「G4」】 コメットルシファー 〜The Seed and the Sower〜 「HBD Peace! 」
And a bonus!! I was able to have a really nice dinner last night with Mimi and Chiisana! I got us these masquerade masks (it's a reference to Gemini's LSO round 2 entry Blue World) in September but I hadn't been able to see both of them together until now. ;^; I LOVE THIS PICTURE I LOVE MY GIRLLSSS
(get it.... my eyes are wide open......... heh.. 👀)
MY AWESOME GROUP THAT I SANG IN AND MIXED, REVOLUTIONARY GIRLS, CAME IN 2ND PLACE FOR ROUND 1 of Oto&me CB..... And we were late too and I thought my mixing might've held us back but I'm shocked and honored wow.
"LSO has ended and the results aren't even out yet, but I've already decided to join another upcoming chorus battle 8D;;;; When you see our line-up, you'll understand why I couldn't resist temptation. I have the honor of singing with some awesome ladies!"
So I wrote this in September..... AND FINALLY. THE REVEAL OF THE AWESOME LADIES that persuaded me to join a chorus battle not with Gemini.
I'm in a group with Saint, Minty, Mong, Chiisana, Tsubame, and Kimunyu!!! How could I pass up a chance to work with them? This is seriously such a hot, hot, hot group of talented ladies.
I also had the privilege of mixing! (I didn't master the mix though.) It was.....kinda crazy? LOL. Really unfortunate circumstances that left me with tight time constraints, and I happened to get really busy-stressed with my job last week. I feel like I worked pretty hard and didn't get much sleep, and yet sadly I'm not happy with this mix. Of course, I LOVE this entry and everyone on the team—but I had really hoped to show my full mixing potential this time and I definitely failed to. I feel bad. I keep making excuses, I could blame the time constraints and all, but I can't help but think... If I had extra time to work on this, would I even have the ability to make the mix as good as I wish I could? Maybe I'm just seeing my limitations? A more competent mixer probably could have done so much better even with the same time constraint. When will I be fully proud of my own mix without feeling regretful after it's uploaded? I have a lot to improve on.
But hey, these vocals and animation and art are GORGEOUS.♥ You're going to want these ladies to step on you. Enjoy!
Just wanted to share some more pictures from the making of my 10th anniversary video aka my last minute impulsive decision to go with the idea that required shooting about 60 shots. orz Why did I do that to myself LOL.. It was veeery time consuming, and oh my god it was so frustrating when I went from frantically running around for two days/nights doing nothing but shooting, to...being completely bedridden with food poisoning and still many shots to go. =A=
Actually, the concept I was originally planning on was basically a scrapbook and then I'd superimpose the videos while editing, WHEN SUDDENLY my mom brought home a pocket projector she got for free. 8D;; So that just kind of fell into my lap and I was super excited, but god it came with so many limitations lol... I couldn't get the projector to play videos from my SD card—let's be real, there are reasons that this was given for free—so I had to lug my laptop around everywhere and change out all of the shots that I had planned to be outside. :c
My little "studio" on my bed was also janky as fuck LOL and I only had one LED light to combat the terrible, terrible, terrible, ugly lighting in my house.
And then... the 2 days it took just for color correction because the footage looked. so. bad. LOL Still does, but I'm glad that such a difference can be made at least..!!
It was a ton of work and time but I had fun making this video for sure! Let's not impulsively decide to rush a video with 60 shots again. That was enough wannabe-videography fun for a while~
Yesterday was such a weird day and I'm surprised as fuck that right now I ... feel....... better than ever and pretty normal? LMAO.
I had a blood test in the morning. Surprisingly didn't make me weak considering I'm sometimes anemic.
Was in a car accident in the afternoon. I was in my friend's car and we were hit from behind on the freeway.
Had really delicious bbq dinner that triggered my digestive system which was still recovering from last week's terrible food poisoning. Pains for a while and proceeded to feel nauseated all the way through this morning.
Got home at 11 PM and mixed... until 7 AM. Ran on some ugly shivery but effective adrenaline.
Now on to today, I slept for 2 and a half hours and went out with friends until the afternoon, and then mixed til now and SOMEHOW I'M STILL AWAKE AND SOMEHOW I FEEL OKAY AND COHERENT AND NOT IN ANY KIND OF PAIN. Is this the power of adrenaline???
That's right!!! Ten. Ten whole years..... For half of the entire duration of my lifetime I've been doing this thing where my parents would be at work or asleep, and I take out my little microphone in my bedroom, shut the door, and record myself shrieking in languages I can't speak.
Looking back, this hobby gets really time-consuming and it's frustrating, but definitely rewarding in its own ways. Somehow I feel like I've found and lost myself many times over the years because of singing.
In middle school, I likely permanently ruined my own throat because I wanted to take advantage of every breathing second that I had after school and before my mom came home from work—which meant forcing myself to keep singing even when it hurt. Sometimes I purposely sang with my throat in pain because it dulled my very obnoxious vocal tone.. It was an exciting new hobby and it was thrilling to collaborate with other coverists and be a part of something. I could never say no, and god I had so many lines to do LOL. But probably because of that, I'm still dealing with throat issues today. Right now I'm going through a decent phase, but sometimes it just hurts to use my voice, and that was a pretty big source of depression for me especially early in college. There was nothing I was passionate about, but I knew at least that I loved to sing and rap—it was the only thing that made me happy and through which I had an expressive/emotional outlet—but it physically pained me to do. And my throat doctor didn't even know what to do with me. But I'm a bit better now ^^ and I learned a huge lesson in self control haha.
Then there was my phase in high school during which I was super obsessed with trying to cover k-pop songs as soon as they were released, so that I could "ride the wave" of attention. I ended up spending a lot of time covering songs that I didn't actually like that much, just for what I perceived to be "popularity." A few of them I kind of regret; they were so half assed LOL. I wouldn't do it again. :'D It's still a struggle of balance finding something that I think others might enjoy and that I would enjoy and be able to put my heart into producing.
And of course feeling shut down and built up again and again; it's been a rollercoaster!! I'm not someone who was born with inherent talent, and it's so easy to compare yourself to others and feel like you can't even do anything. Honestly, I can barely sing at karaoke. Even to as recent as Tokohana for LSO's final round in September, I was actually extremely emotionally distraught when trying to record lines and I wished my vocal tone were better, struggled a shit ton with higher notes, struggled to hold notes out, couldn't live up to the other members' awesome. (rly if you haven't heard it yet, please do bc Gemini sounds amazing<3) But I figured out a long time ago, that if I couldn't be the master at anything, I needed to put in that much more effort to strive to be a jack of all trades ;v; That's how I ended up dabbling in all these different languages, in rapping, in "animating," in mixing and mastering, even tried to dance.
I consider animating a lost battle for me. At first in the Dark Ages, I was so proud that with my AMV-making experience, I was able to put names for when people sang in groupdubs LOL! And then I assumed the role of video-maker for Gemini since I was most interested in Sony Vegas. But then when everyone else was making magic in After Effects and I was still in Sony Vegas with my very (still) brokenly horrible sense of aesthetic, I couldn't keep up and decided to focus on mixing. Now I'm slowly picking up bits and pieces of AE because of work, but I suck LOL.
And mixing..... That's still very much a work in progress. I first started out trying to "mix" in Windows Movie Maker lmao, and I still remember DUBattle Royale in 2011 when the judges told us to EQ, and I was like, "What's that?" LOL I really fell behind my peers in learning to EQ and master.. Although I've improved a lot in mixing (especially during LSO), I end up feeling ashamed and as though I know nothing compared to other mixers. LSO was really a huge challenge; I was so proud of myself at first and then I kept realizing all of these mixing flaws I caused and got mad at myself tbh. But that's all the more reason for me to learn more and prove myself, so my next challenge will be OTO&ME CB! Q^Q)9 I'll.. try my best and hopefully can make something nice for us to all look back on!
Because of this hobby, I found a career path for myself. I totally went through a phase in high school when I dreamed of becoming a Hello!Project idol and then a K-pop idol LOLLLL. It was always obvious that I'd never be able to. I knew I loved singing, and it was depressing that I had waaay too many limitations to do that, but I had enough interest in mixing and video editing that I decided to enter university as a Radio-TV-Film major. I still always felt like I had no talent, but eventually it ended up working out great! 8D Because now I primarily do video and audio editing at my awesome grown-up full time job; otherwise working on sets and often as the audio recordist. It's great.
Most importantly!!!!!! I'm grateful for how many people I've met and how many friends I've made in online covering communities, as well as all the support I've received. Q___Q I met my best friend Chiisana in 2007 because we both covered overlapping anime songs and made AMVs—turned out we lived in neighboring cities and obviously both didn't care enough about stranger danger even though she was literally 11 years old LOL!! Then I got to meet a lot of nice people through singing Mermaid Melody and Hello!Project. AND THEN K-POP.... I got a message in 2010 from some girl named Mimi who did some k-pop duets with a guy named Ryan. And you see, kids, when coverists really love and accept each other, sometimes they do things all night (talked in chat) and give birth to baby groups like Gemini. And sometimes, this group becomes family as important to you as blood. QAQ I'm so lucky that we still sing together and even came back as a full group for a chorus battle this year, five years after our last battle!!! <3
And joining the vocaloid/youtaite and twitter community in 2012 really changed my life. I had never felt so immersed in people that were similar to me and accepted me. A lot of them were so cool and social or really talented or popular, but they still wanted to be friends with me?? I felt for the first time that I could kind of talk to people and socialize, and it made me more confident and outgoing in my college classes. ^^ Since then, most of my friends that I hang out with IRL have been people that I met in the youtaite community—bless that there are so many of them in Norcal. :'D It's been a bumpy ride, but some of these people will be lifelong friends I think.
I typed for too long, sorry. Here is my celebratory(?) 2006-2016 vocal evolution reel!! I hope I can improve much, much more and keep singing with cool people in the future~ Thank you!
VERY SORRY FOR MY UGLY HANDWRITING AND HUMOR AND THE UGLY IN GENERAL TBH.... Hi everyone!! This is a very special video to me because 10 years ago—when I was 13 years old—I uploaded my first cover on youtube. And somehow, 10 years later, this is still my hobby. I'm still here trying to learn to sing and rap and mix and slaughter languages, and it's still fun. I forget to express it, but I'm really grateful to everyone who's ever supported me along the way! ;_; Thank you for encouraging me and teaching me!! ♥♥♥ To commemorate, here is my 2006-2016 vocal evolution reel archive compilation...video thing. An update to my last reel which was 5 years ago! https://youtu.be/9sGI7ZSdXEo (And an excuse to bring to light a lot of covers that were never finished tbh.) Please watch your ears—it will be painful, sorry. :'D Thank you for watching!!! If you'd like to hear the full version of something that's not on my channel, you might find it on my collab playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA5E87AF81CFCA7C6 soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/waterpixieva box of extras: https://app.box.com/s/e3hdl6o7hhhneyjd2u7i Or just request ^^
Idk how since I didn't eat anything special for Thanksgiving but my body turned into a useless empty shell of a vegetable all yesterday and it was misery and pain and disgusting and a waste of my time. :c
It was dark and I was alone when I walked out of my work building today, but I walked out with a smile and realized I'm pretty blessed to be doing what I'm doing? Not that I never have little complaints sometimes, but I think I do quite like my job.
There's so much more to being a video editor than I had imagined, and it's kind of awesome. I'm fortunate that even though I'm mostly working on corporate videos—which some people tend to assume are meaningless and dry—they're still subjects that I can care about and feel proud about. For one thing, I have the power of outreach because I'm an editor. I can help messages come across that people may not have paid attention to before; and I can strive to help the videos gain even more traction (hopefully is what I'm doing, at least) by carefully selecting shots that are appealing and human moments that are compelling, by editing in a way that hopefully doesn't bore people, by emphasizing certain messages that I believe will attack viewers' heartstrings. ;v;
I can be a persuader. It's a privilege to work on videos that can expose kids (especially young girls; I'm still very proud of this <3) to science and technology programs and competitions, and I can show just how amazing, how bright, ambitious, hard working, recognized, diverse, loved, and passionate their slightly older counterparts—and hopefully role models-to-be—are. In a small way, I may be able to help persuade people to pursue their dreams. Maybe I can persuade their parents to better support them and believe in them.
I can be a teacher. I've spent most of this week editing science experiment videos (assisted on the shoot too), and I may not have written the script or designed the experiments, but I do get to make decisions in pacing, which shots to use, and adding some motion graphics to illustrate ~science~. I hope people find them to be fun and, equally importantly, educational. ^^ Even better if kids come to learn that there is fun to science and build on it!
I can be a storyteller. Most of today was spent relistening to interviews and crafting a story for a recruitment video that's going to go on top of a company's Careers page. And this goes back to luck again that it happens that this company does great, philanthropic things and hearing the employees discuss it even makes me almost wish I could work there haha. They glow when they talk about how helpful and welcoming the culture is there, how everyone believes in their mission, and they have such a meaningful purpose with which they can make a difference for millions of ordinary people. It's fun to be able to highlight that as I put together the pieces for a hopefully cohesive flow and create a certain character for the company that I think will be good for the brand. In general, I love that I can listen to people's thoughts, develop an understanding of what're passionate about, and try to showcase that. It is kind of a vicarious bond and experience of passion, but somehow I end up caring about these people and what's important to them, and try to paint a nice picture of their story. ^^
And as I wrote in my post about Coco... I hope that I can even be a healer for some. Touch some hearts, give them peace, give them hope.
I found this old post completely by accident while searching for something else, and I......... sort of forget sometimes that I used to have no ambition. That's a great thing, right?! That means I've become an ambitious not-coward, right?!! Wow.. right... I sound so confident and optimistic now LMAO. WEIRD.
Woah, what is this?! I went somewhere and am actually blogging about it while it's still fresh? (I'm so bad usually HAHA.)
So I got back from Washington DC last night! I was there on a business trip—my most intensive one thus far. In 6 days, I worked 68 hours..... For full context, I was there as part of the video crew and the editor for a big science fair for middle schoolers. Thousands of applicants were narrowed down to the 30 (brilliant, young af) finalists who were brought to DC for a week-long program/competition during which they got to show off their projects, go on tours of a university and museums, do team challenges, and bond. Meanwhile, judges follow them around the whole time, and at the end of the week, they had an awards ceremony/gala (some of these middle schoolers got like $20K...) and showed the highlights video we made that summed up their week!
So my task was to collect footage everyday and craft a story out of their interviews and put nice shots over them. The video even included shots from the DAY it was shown at the gala... It was insane. Unfortunately, the only window that the crew had for conducting most of the interviews with the kids was Monday 4 - 5:30 PM.......... And the full video was due at 9 AM on Tuesday, then after whatever changes, the final version was due at 4 PM and shown at 8 PM. o<-< ......... CRAY CRAY.
So on Monday, I worked from noon til 6 PM, took a 45 minute break, then worked nonstop all through the night until 9 AM.... Slept for an hour and a half. Got client feedback and headed back to work until 4 PM. Then we headed to the gala..... and still had to work because our cameraman had to capture the winners' moments, and then we had to set up an interview area, shoot interviews with a bunch of people (I operated audio and helped with lights), and clean up until 9:30 PM. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BASICALLY I WORKED FOR A LOOOONG LONG ASS TIME and that night, I slept like a cadaver.
I barely got to see DC, but I liked it!
Also, I have a lot of feelings and tbh it's all really selfish thoughts, but I couldn't help but feel sad about certain things.
