RESTART YOURSELF

Without a doubt I've been procrastinating writing this post and I can't really explain why LOL...... I'm definitely proud of these uploads—it's not the case where after uploading I feel so embarrassed about my work that I avoid the video for months, which definitely happens... Maybe it's because I dedicated a whole tireless month to working on just cover projects (aka worked my ass off to get these out before Animal Crossing took over my life) so as soon as I was done, I wanted to be absolved of any effort or responsibility related to them for a while? Hm idk... Or perhaps it's because I'm proud of them that it feels weird to admit so and write about it in detail? ^^;; There's a lot I want to say...

Two big uploads that mean a lot to me!!! 💓

The moment I heard Elsa sing Show Yourself on my first viewing of Frozen 2, I just knew it was a song I wanted to sing. Frozen holds a permanent residency and large real estate in my heart for being what helped me explore my feelings and heal through a difficult time—and I just love Elsa and the whole icy motif (metaphorically and aesthetically) and the two sisters' different experiences with isolation and being honest with oneself. The first film is a masterpiece. 😭

The sequel is...fine? good'ish? But on my second viewing of it I sobbed through Show Yourself... I like the lyrics a lot! My favorite line is "I have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside" aaah it just resonates with me so hard...... In many ways I try to be pretty open—like how I share my thoughts and experiences on this blog!—but in many other ways I seem to always be keeping my walls and guard up. Have been criticized for that before by someone who was one of the most important people to me at the time ;; And honestly around everyone who doesn't know about my singing, weeb, and k-pop interests, I'm extremely secretive and not comfortable with talking about my interests... >< thus it's hard for me to form a close relationship with anyone outside of this circle or anyone from whom I fear judgment. And due to my thorny personality I'm often described as an ice queen which certainly has its negative connotations but I've embraced and like the nickname haha.

I also really love the build-up of the song—it made it super fun to sing because there's such a variety of emotions and range to it ^^!! I especially looove singing low and emotional and chilly, and then there's an arc of self-realization and then breathy AND THAT SUPER HIGH OPERATIC FALSETTO I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD DO and then slightly warmer and then strong! until I'm belting and sadly can't even reach the notes without mixed(?) voice hahaha. And with Disney songs, you can be emotive and nuanced in ways that poppy songs often don't allow: there's somberness, there's reservation, there's wonder, reflection, curiosity, confidence, openness!

I'm so, so, so happy that I covered this song. ;u; Recently I started feeling a lot like I wasn't sure in my own singing capabilities and to be frank, in a lot of collabs I've been in, I'm not that happy with how my singing or vocal tone sounds compared to everyone else? Even if I do redoes, sometimes it feels like I'm hitting a wall. It just kinda feels like GOD FINALLY I got to actually sing and show people some of my strengths!!! Like real singing that I'm proud of!!! 😭😭

Phew okay I practically just wrote an essay LOL. One last thing-- I used to do multi-language covers often (or at least just posting more covers in different languages and recently I've only been doing JP and KR) AND I DID NOT FREAKING REALIZE. It's been ten years since my last multi-language cover.............. jeebus...................... Let's not think about that too hard! Anyway I learned while working on Show Yourself that I basically don't know anything about any language lol. Especially with the added pressure of knowing that viewers would more pay attention to my pronunciation than usual and with this somewhat more classical style there's less room for fudgery than in poppy songs. . . it was a long struggle learning to better deliver the different accents in all these languages. Still much to improve on. Bless Fome for not only making me sound good with this mix but also teaching me some of the nuances in the Japanese and Mandarin that I missed!

Anyway here's the video I just wrote a thesis on. Queen Elsa rocks.

【Eva】 Show Yourself / Frozen II ❄️ 【5 Language Cover】

⇢ Audio Mix: Fome [commissions open!]

~✨~✨~

Now the second upload is even more special !!!! Nine years ago, 5 friends and I decided to join a competition (unofficial chorus battle) called DUBattle Royale with the group name Gemini, because among our group we had many "vocal twins" and we blend extraordinarily well together. What a fucking beautiful thing it is that the six of us can still sing together after all these years..... I call them my first found family because they really are that to me—I know that regardless of the ebb and flow in our changing lives, I can always still count on them to have my back and cherish that special bond that only we can understand. We were hoping to have a group meetup again in Toronto late this year but with the pandemic there's no way so maybe next year for our 10th anni. :>

So yeah we sang this amazing IDOLiSH7 song that's about flying high, smiling together to overcome challenges, having courage, and reaching for our dreams together !

Our anniversary date unfortunately fell on the day that shelter-in-place was first announced in the US and in general there was a lot of grief and anxiety on social media—so as a group we discussed if we should hold off on the upload/if it would be tonedeaf to sing something so cheery in these worrisome times, but in the end we decided that it might be a welcome breath of fresh air for some people who were looking for some light in the darkness? ;; Thankfully I think we were right ;;;; To hear that we helped cheer up some folks makes this video even more meaningful than it already was. I love it a lot.

We were super fortunate to get to collaborate with an incredible visual team (I call them the visual fairies!) who are all sweet and skilled as heck and I greatly treasure their friendship too. 😩 The video is so gorgeous..... Look at all these pretty pastel colors........ Our characters and different personalities were captured so well.... The clothing designs are perfect for all of us..... The camera movements are expertly smooth and the video is just sparkly good vibes all around. I would absolutely work with pash, kayla, and azuka again without hesitation anytime, anywhere. 😭

【Gemini】 IDOLiSH7 - RESTART POiNTER 「9th Anniversary!」

【Art】 

✩Sketch & Lineart - pash (https://www.twitter.com/piikoarts) 
✩Color - kayla (https://twitter.com/kaylajungxo) 

【Mix】 

✩Main Mix - Eva (https://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva) 
✩Tune - Ryan (https://www.youtube.com/RyanEatPho) 
✩Base EQ - 小さな (chiisana) (https://www.youtube.com/c/chiisanauta) 

【Animation】 
✩azuka (https://www.youtube.com/user/flence5 // https://twitter.com/Azuka15328)

Fun fact: every Gemini member has a strong preference towards girl idols lololol so we end up singing a lot of songs that cater more to the girls' ranges and voices. But for this one we girls have been like, "YESSSS OUR BOYS GET TO SHINE SO MUCH!! GET ITTT!!!" hehehe Jay especially is the standout in this song—he is the center of this comeback!! 💚

Oh and also I mixed............. the mix evolved a lot lol. We started recording this a long time ago and my mixing style and what I want to convey in this mix has changed a shit ton throughout the working period. I ended up settling on this wide sound with the vocals not too pushed forward, still bright but not overly crispy, fullness in the mids/lows, wet prechoruses but dry choruses. There's definitely something here that's preventing this mix from being on the level of professional that Fome is able to achieve in his mixes—I'm certainly hitting somewhat of a wall... but given my lack of advanced knowledge and not having as much in my toolkit compared to many other mixers, I'm overall kind of satisfied with the mix? It's pretty contained and doesn't make me cringe? lol

Looking forward to Gemini's 10th anniversary project~ 💞

goodbye back to animal crossing