I dumped selcas here

Wow I'm sorry there's just been so much of my face lately. But for those who aren't sick of seeing me yet, here's a useless selca dump as I was playing around with my purple wig that arrived today LOL.

I'm going to be cosplaying Water Courier Ruka from Puzzles & Dragons for next year's Anime Expo--though hopefully the costume will be done before then. :>

Warning: this post has WAAAY too much of my face.

Gwiyomi [warning: visual profanity, aegyo]

viewer discretion is advised
i learned from myst's video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbM-J3fWLE8

...I'm doing a real fine job of this doing of the homework thing.

But yeah, don't watch if you get offended easily or if aegyo (cutesy actions) is nauseating for you lol.

good night!

Been a while since I last took a face selca I think

(giant squishable from nelson is giant)

[PHLOG] Reno, Fairfield, Lake Tahoe

[Blog, vlog, PHOTO LOG...]

This past weekend was my company trip to Reno! It was fun, and I tried to take pictures since I wanted to do something to somewhat document the trip, and it would've been awkward to vlog haha.

THERE WERE SO MANY KIDS. I FUCKING LOVE KIDS. HOLY SHIT. FUCK.
There was a total of 9 kids on this trip. All of them are under 4 years old. Actually I don't even know if any of them are 3 years old yet, but THE POINT IS THEY'RE ALL CLUMSY LITTLE ADORABLE LOUD AND AWKWARD CHILDREN THAT RUN AROUND AND SCREAM AND TIP OVER LIKE THEY'RE DRUNK. Some were unresponsive, some antisocial, some brave, some friendly. But all very cute. Babies. Cute babies. My heart was very happy when it wasn't busy stopping at every adorable action.

(I hope their parents don't mind that I'm posting pictures of them! ;A; I'll take them down if they do.)

larp

[12:40:43 AM] Mango (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡): Ummmm guys
[12:40:49 AM] Mango (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡): So I googled "larp" http://puu.sh/4sF0C.jpg
[12:40:52 AM] Mango (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡): ............
[12:40:57 AM] Andy!: ....
[12:40:59 AM] Chiisana: ....
[12:41:00 AM] Eva: ....
[12:41:02 AM] Mango (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡): ...
[12:41:03 AM] Chiisana: that's not a lion playing a harp :c

Pictures from Disney's CA Adventure! (AX2013)

(2 months late...)

Here's a link to Myst's AX write-up because I'm too lazy to talk about all the things we did HAHA.
The people featured here are: Myst, Chiisana, Chiizu, Karu, Ian, Andy, and me.

...I also didn't include all the pictures because I'm also too lazy to do more Chiisana!censoring.......
But there's not much point to this post anyway since you can see everything that we did in my vlog!

We invite you in~

how we make stuff

[7:14:52 PM] Eva: ..o
[7:14:54 PM] Eva: i think
[7:14:57 PM] Eva: i'm the.. mixer??????
[7:15:02 PM] Eva: TAG YOU'RE IT YOU'RE EQING
[7:15:03 PM] Eva: LALALALAALLALA
[7:15:04 PM] Eva: LAAAAAAAAA
[7:15:06 PM] Eva: HAAAAAAA
[7:15:06 PM] Chiisana: I can help with mixing--
[7:15:06 PM] Chiisana: LOL
[7:15:07 PM] Eva: HAAAAAA
[7:15:08 PM] Eva: HAAAAAAAA
[7:15:09 PM] Eva: JAGER.
[7:15:09 PM] Chiisana: YEAH THAT'S FINE
[7:15:31 PM] Chiisana: and I'm.. animating..?! I think..?!
[7:15:33 PM] Chiisana: some kind of animation..?!?!
[7:15:39 PM] Chiisana: how do you even animate to this song..?!?
[7:15:46 PM] Eva: LOTS AND LOTS OF JAGER.

Korean Drama Talk Time

I was cleaning out my draft posts on Blogger, and found this incomplete post from.........
May 28th, 2013. Good fucking job, Eva.

I'mma publish it anyway though and add on a brief(?) listing and maybe some comments about dramas I followed or tried out in my recent memory! :>


Korean drama talk time because hi I'm Eva, and I'm an impulsive blogger.

I've been so obsessed with dramas and actors/actresses lately, except now I started following so many or started working on watching so many (it's a lot in my standards because it's not like I dedicate my whole life to watching shows) that I feel kind of swarmed and misdirected. :( So sadddd that sometimes keeping up with dramas feels like a chore now when they start losing my interest, but I don't wanna fall behind.. There are some dramas that I actually want to watch, but then I start thinking, "Eva you haven't watched this week's episodes of _____ yet; shouldn't you do that first?" and then I end up not watching anything and falling behind even more HAHAHAHA... But okay yo (not sure why that was necessary) lemme break down the stuff I'm watching right now or am considering checking out.

Monstar:
Starting with this, because THIS is my recommendation of the season. Winter's recommendation was Flower Boy Next Door, and I'm continuing with this same mellow, fluffy, yet thoughtful and heartfelt vibe that makes both of these dramas so lovable.
[5/22/2013 2:47:36 PM] Eva: but it's a pretty lighthearted drama with some melancholy behind it?
[5/22/2013 2:47:44 PM] Eva: like a teenaged musical Flower Boy Next Door
[5/22/2013 2:47:54 PM] Eva: but no hyperactive puppies from Spain
<--my description of Monstar when introducing it to Chiisana

The premise of the drama sounds pretty superficial and basic, but the show actually seems really promising and thought-out. It's a drama that follows the lives of high school students and how music and their newfound company of one another will heal their scars and pain. B2ST's Junhyung plays Yoon Seolchan and is an idol in a drama acting as an idol in a drama. :DDD;; Due to a fan-caused scandal, he has to stay in school for a while to rebuild his image. The main female is Min Seyi (Ha Yeonsoo) who is though her innocence doesn't mean stupidity or blindness.

Of course, there are some ridiculous things that reflect the doings of Dream High 2, like the fact that Seolchan is the only person that matters in his idol group while all the other members (played by BTOB) remain nameless and uncared for by fans, the agency, and even Seolchan.


~
And that's where my incomplete post ended. I THINK I PROBABLY HAD a gazillion other things to say but I guess I just...didn't...have...time. OTL
OKAY BACK TO KOREAN DRAMA TALK TIME IN THE PRESENT! WAHAHAHA. Except can't be bothered to be as detailed as I was before.

(No particular order because I can't remember shit anyway.)
(But a * means it's.. special?? that I want you to pay extra attention? IDK~)

Recommended websites: Dramafever, Dramabeans, A Koala's Playground

• * Monstar
• Comment: It's heartwarming and an absolute gem! I love Kang Haneul!
• Progress: I.. I followed it religiously up until episode 8 and then life happened. I heard that the rest of series is still really good and I intend to finish this drama.
• Recommendation? I KNOW I didn't finish the drama BUT I STILL REALLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT. It's great♥
• Birth Secret
• Comment: Tbh I started watching this after learning that one of my girlcrushes Kim Sohyun plays the younger version of the protagonist. And then it seemed really interesting so I kept going!
• Progress: And then it stopped seeming interesting so I stopped.
• Recommendation? ..... The premise has quite a hook and it's definitely not a bad drama, but not recommended.
• I Hear Your Voice
• Comment: IT'S CUTE. Parts of it are very scary. (to me) I like Lee Boyoung. and Lee Jongsuk.
• Progress: FINISHED! Though honestly I couldn't bring myself to watch every episode because I'm highly allergic to 1) scary things, and 2) sad things. So I read recaps from dramabeans a lot. I really like their recaps.
• Recommendation? Recommended!! May not interest everyone though. But it's good.
• That Winter, the Wind Blows
• Comment: I think this one's a bit of an acquired taste but I really liked it and was hooked.. Here's a post about my first impression of the drama. Some things later on (the ending esp) kinda left me frustrated though. Wasn't as epic as I'd hoped.
• Progress: Finished!
• Recommendation? Suure, if you like melodramas!
• The World That They Live In
• Comment: I watched because I was really curious about the Hyun Bin x Song Hyegyo pairing. :D I enjoyed the pairings in Secret Garden (Hyun Bin x Ha Jiwon) and That Winter, the Wind Blows (Jo In Sung x Song Hyegyo)--though I don't intend to watch What Happened in Bali (Jo In Sung x Ha Jiwon)--so I was curious about how the last combination works. Plus apparently Hyun Bin and Song Hyegyo dated for a while! ALSO I'M VERY CURIOUS about broadcast stations and the making of dramas.
• Progress: I was kinda watching this one casually since it's an old drama and doesn't knock you off your feet. ......and then life happened. But I'll probably start watching it casually again..sometime....
• Recommendation? ...Mostly only if you're interested in those above things that made me wanna watch it.
• Cheongdamdong Alice
• Comment: I like Moon Geunyoung. This drama was very good at first.
• Progress: I read recaps because I was curious as to how it would end...
• Recommendation? No.
• Bright Side: A VERY nice OST song ("Daddy Long Legs") came out from this drama by one of my girlcrushes Baek Ahyeon and it continues to be one of my favorite songs.
• Mandate of Heaven (Fugitive of Joseon)
• Comment: ..Mostly I was curious because Lee Dongwook looks so different from how he did when hosting Strong Heart.. And I like Song Jihyo because Running Man. Also because boredom.
• Progress: FINISHED but through recaps. I probably actually watched like.. 2 episodes. But that's partially because it's an action thriller :c
• Recommendation? ...eh.
• * Reply 1997
• Comment: I fucking love Jung Eunji from A Pink. Oh wait I forgot I wrote a whole post about this drama here.
• Progress: This is a pretty old drama. But I loved it, so I wanted to recommend it again.
• Recommendation? I RECOMMEND IT.
• The King 2 Hearts
• Comment: Another old drama BUT IT'S SO GOOD. It stars Lee Seunggi and Ha Jiwon.
• Progress: I mostly read recaps because I'd heard so many good things about the drama but didn't wanna plunge into it. Watched a handful of episodes though and finished!
• Recommendation? REALLY GOOD DRAMA. Basically like a sageuk set in modern times. (It's a fictional North and South Korea with monarchies.)
• The Moon that Embraces the Sun
• Comment: I wrote this back in March in my fangirl post over ZE:A's Siwan.
  "Btw it's a very good drama if you turn a blind eye towards the fact that the plot goes nowhere and nobody ever grows up. Maybe it's because I went into it already knowing and expecting how lacking it was that I wasn't disappointed with the drama LOL. I'm enjoying it."
• Progress: Finished!
• Recommendation? RECOMMEND THE CHILDHOOD PORTION SO MUCH. The rest of it is just.. if you remember to keep low expectations.
• * Sword and Flower (aka Blade and Petal)
• Comment: This is such an underrated drama. It's also really refreshing to see a sageuk taking place in the Goguryeo era rather than Joseon. After a strong start though, the drama started being plagued by some stupidity, plot holes, and lack of character development. But interesting all the way through.
• Progress: It just finished airing! But I'm waiting to watch the last episode with boyfriend haha. This was a pleasantly surprising case though, since I started out only reading recaps... and then it became watching every episode. as soon as they got subbed.
• Recommendation? If you like historicals and kick-ass princesses, then yes.
• * Good Doctor
• Comment: Who knew I would start watching a medical drama, considering how squeamish I am at blood and surgeries and.. medical-related everything... (It stars Joowon, Moon Chaewon, and Joo Sangwook! They're all great actors imo.)
• Progress: It's still airing! And I'm still following it religiously with no sign of stopping!!!
• Recommendation? Yes! May not interest everyone though. A few dumb things but they can be overlooked. Overall, a good drama! If you're curious, maybe check out the recaps over at dramabeans. ^^
• The Princess' Man
• Comment: I wanted to try it because 1) I like these kinds of sageuks with potential for cute, 2) people recommended it, and 3) curious about Park Sihoo and Moon Chaewon together.
• Progress: I couldn't go on after 2 episodes..
• Recommendation? It's a good drama! I just couldn't bring myself to go on because I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE SAD, SOB
• Jang Ok Jung: Live in Love
• Comment: The first 8 or so episodes of this drama are just BEAUTIFUL and CHARMING and thoughtful, with [unexpectedly] great, subtle, powerful, and emotional acting. Especially from Kim Taehee. Nobody knew she could bring it but homequrl brought it. Yoo Ah In is also fantastic, though after those 8 episodes, he started getting frustrated with his character and the drama. We all did. Everything sunk after that.
• Progress: I watched it up until episode .. 15 or so?! Then I couldn't STAND the stupidity and makjang anymore...... but I kept up with recaps til the end out of curiosity for the plot.
• Recommendation? Stop when it starts going stupid.
• Gu Family Book
• Comment: This is a reaction timeline for the whole series.
  
  Ep 1: "THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND MAGICAL AND PERFECT I'M IN LOVE."
  Ep 2: "What the fuck."
  Ep 3: "What the fuckkk."
  Early-mid episodes: "This is dumb and immature and dumb."
  Mid-late episodes: "Woah this is actually getting better. But still bad."
  Later episodes: "This is entertaining and not toooo bad!"
  Last episode: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING DRAMA. WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT DUMBASS ENDING IS THAT?! HOW DID THE WRITERS FUCK SHIT UP THIS BADLY??"
  
  (no seriously the ending isn't bad because it's sad or anything.. it just literally doesn't make sense and IS A BADLY EXECUTED ENDING and makes you wonder why you bothered sticking to the whole drama.)
• Progress: Finished but wandered between watching and reading recaps. Mostly read recaps.
• Recommendation? save yourself....
• * Cyrano Dating Agency
• Comment: SUCH A CUTE AND BREEZY DRAMA, HOLY SHIT. The main girl is played by SNSD's Sooyoung and she's actually an acting gem among idols. She's great.
• Progress: I watched religiously until near the end, when I started losing steam... and honestly I procrastinated watching (or reading) the last episode so much that I don't remember if I ever watched or read it.
• Recommendation? I liked it a lot, so yes!
• You're the Best, Lee Soon Shin
• Comment: Oops... I forgot to add this one. Probably because it'snotthatgreat. I /love/ IU and Jo Jungsuk but I couldn't with this drama.... Plus, it's a 50-episode weekend family drama...
• Progress: I watched until I gave up. Then I read recaps until the recapper gave up. Then there were summaries and discussion posts.
• Recommendation? don't do it....

I basically ended up talking about every drama I paid attention to since December of last year...........

wao.

YO IMMA ONLY SAY THIS ONCE SO LISTEN UP

I'm actually feeling really good about myself today, as everyone should all the time! Bad days and mistakes don't change who you are, after all ;u; so even through tribulations, I hope everyone reading this will be proud of themselves and won't be afraid of embracing their own qualities and uniqueness. Shit this sounds like a preach but you know, you're more clever and charming than you think. Not to mention, generous and likable. And all this makes you attractive. You probably don't see it but it's all there. Don't be so hard on yourself please and thank you. ;u;

Boom! Headshot

(I'm talking to Kanso/Sean who was the other Kano Shuuya cosplayer that I took pictures with at AX2013!)

[1:35:55 AM] Eva: SO I JUST REALIZED I TOOK THIS PICTURE WITH ANDY...........

[1:35:58 AM] Eva: not knowing...
[1:35:59 AM] Eva: that....
[1:36:00 AM] Eva: kano...
[1:36:02 AM] Eva: actually..
[1:36:05 AM] Eva: got shot in the head............................
[1:36:17 AM] Eva: i literally only found out today because of tumblr because of Outer Science.
[1:36:19 AM] かんそ@がんばらない: oh well that wasnt known until today
[1:36:24 AM] Eva: OH
[1:36:26 AM] Eva: REALLY?!?!?!
[1:36:25 AM] かんそ@がんばらない: still
[1:36:27 AM] かんそ@がんばらない: PFFFT HAHAAHAHAH
[1:36:28 AM] Eva: OHHH.....
[1:36:29 AM] Eva: OHHHHHHHH
[1:36:31 AM] Eva: HOLY SHIT
[1:36:36 AM] Eva: I HAD A PREMONITION THEN
[1:36:41 AM] Eva: MAYBE I INSPIRED IT--
[1:36:46 AM] Eva: OR I JUST PREDICTED IT REALLY WELL
[1:36:47 AM] Eva: WOW.
[1:36:50 AM] Eva: WOOOOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
[1:37:06 AM] Eva: i should go on tv and make millions by making bullshit predictions

Discussing the Gemini boys

Nelson: Oh, Ryan! He's the one that lives in Australia, right?
Me: ....No. He's in Canada.
Nelson: Oh no, wait, it was Jay that was in Australia!
Me: .........No again.

you had 3 options you just had to choose the 2 incorrect ones
sorry jeffrey

#TeamSiliconValley, Denny, and a Pretty Place

A dump of pictures for people who enjoy staring at the backs of other people in random settings.

Featuring:
Denny (he came from Vancouver!!)
Myst
Y
Chiisana

this is such a lazy post omfg 8D

Late night rambling #7

It doesn't feel fair. That I encounter so much depression when I'm so fortunate. There are so many things that I have or am, that others envy and/or desire so deeply. There are probably people that would like to be like me. And I have everything that I could need: a functioning family, a house to live in, a car to drive, a best friend, a boyfriend, some good friends, a stable part-time job, an enrollment in a university. It's not that it's all meaningless; it's not that I'm ungrateful. Yet these negative emotions can't be driven away. It can't really be explained. And it doesn't feel right.



Possibly I'm extra emotional lately because as of today, summer has ended. >< School started for me last week. I'm going to continue working through school again. Boyfriend moved today to San Francisco for school, which is an hour away. Best friend is moving 7 hours away soon. Hangouts with friends will slowly diminish. Back to being even more busy and even more tired. Changes abound. Loneliness and hardship approaching. The end of a great summer, door slammed shut. Doors opening leading not to opportunity and new adventures but to dread, dread, and more dread. Not to mention stress, anxiety, social interaction, confusion over the future. Fucking school. Fuck school. I actually smiled a lot this summer and started going out of the house a lot and tried more to socialize and I opened up a lot and found myself being more bold yet easygoing and being more comfortable as myself and I even opened up to romance. I hate seeing things end. I'm jealous of those not with nice clothes and fancy cars, but of those who only see the doors opening before them, with optimism and excitement, who gape at new opportunities found and to be caught, of new beginnings and adventures, of new joys to be appreciated--those able to make meaning in life.

Late night rambling #6

I find that not too often do I cry or even tear up at fictional pieces that I can't relate to, and I suppose right now I'm mostly referring to movies and songs. Certain movies can pull some heartstrings but just listening to a song rarely ever strikes a reaction from my tearducts.

Which is why it's so weird to me that I started tearing up at 15&'s "I Dream" while driving home from work today.

It's a song I'm really familiar with, too. It's been out for quite a while, I used to loop it A LOTTTTT along with Baek Ahyeon's "Daddy Long Legs," and it's in my car CD so I hear it all the fucking time. Maybe I was just overthinking because I also happened to be stuck in traffic.

When it came on, I started thinking about 15&'s debut and about Park Jimin. I guess Park Jimin's talent is slightly going to waste since it's not being exposed as much as it could be, which is the fault of their management JYP and a shame since she won 1st place on Kpop Star. Some say that she may just be a high note wonder and that other than that, she doesn't have enough substance to stand on.. and I've also heard that she ended up being overshadowed by her partner Baek Yerin. I guess it's kind of sad.

But I think it's really wonderful how 15& was formed. Two unexpected powerhouse talented 15 year old girls that I honestly think were meant to meet and sing together. It may be considered a setback for Park Jimin to not receive the limelight that could have came with a debut booted by a 1st place win, but I think it's absolutely heartwarming that Jimin joined JYP, met and befriended Yerin, and asked to be able to debut with her.

I also really like Yerin and love her voice to bits--as well as her reserved and awkward personality--so I guess thinking of this story while listening to her gentle yet powerful voice got me a little emotional.

People say that 15& got a shitty debut and could have gone further if they didn't have such a boring song, but I'm really glad that they debuted with "I Dream." It's not the catchiest and it only clings to those with the acquired taste for it (cough guilty of that), but it has so much meaning and I think that's important in the long run. I fucking love this song, man. It's beautiful and inspirational and carries such a heartwarming backstory.

And then it also hit me on a personal level.

In the past year or two especially, I've been hit with a lot of depression and confusion because I have no dreams, and I end up wallowing a lot over things like Baek Ahyeon and Shin Jihoon's "I Dreamed a Dream" and Wonder Girls' Sunye and Ye Eun's "When You Believe" covers.

Since I was little, my one favorite, important word had always been "Dream." I'd wear bracelets with the word written on it and errthang, and I even used to also think that my dreams while sleeping could foreshadow reality. I've always so stressed the importance of dreaming and following your dreams. Even in my hypocrisy. I guess the childhood Eva felt a little betrayed when I ended up becoming a robot with no ambitions. And I suppose it's also appropriate that I've also mostly stopped having dreams (that I remember) in my sleep.

I wish I had dreams or goals.

When I was just a tot, my mom always told me to use my birthday wishes to hope that she'll win the lottery. Eventually I grew out of her control over my birthday wishes and since then, all I can remember thinking to myself before blowing out the candles is, "Please let me be happy." I don't have any other goals.

I'm very proud of myself for having been valedictorian in high school, but deep inside, I know I'm not sure if it was worth it. Sure, I had beautiful grades and I proved I'm a hard worker but all the while, I robbed myself of relaxation, healthiness, and happiness--opting for achievement instead. What's the point? Where do I find meaning in being a robot that can follow instructions and achieve what others want of me, that has no actual desires of its own? And no sense of direction? No knowledge of how to be truly happy?

A large part of the reason I hate college (holy shit I just entered my 3rd year) is probably due to the fact that it forces me to choose a direction even though I'm not ready yet. So I chose one that I don't hate as much as I hate everything else. And now I'm stuck in this shithole where I know that my major won't actually get me a job. Practicality. Everyone's been talking and thinking practicality. I understand the future requires stability. But with a practical job that I'm not interested in, I may survive, but am I truly living? If I force myself to do something I won't like, I won't be happy at all; I might as well be dead. But now I know I'm also driving myself into unemployed, unmotivated doom. Either way, I'm fucked.

After a lot of thinking, I've realized that there are two things that I think I secretly wish I could make a future out of but can't. The two things I enjoy doing.

The first thing is writing. I suck at it. But it's so much damn fun.

The second is singing. I've always secretly thought it'd be fun and fulfilling to be a singer. I had once wanted to audition for Hello!Project, and then it was SM Entertainment. But even disregarding other factors like appearance and dancing ability... given my less-than-spectacular vocal skills, lack of endurance, extreme stage fright, and plaguing throat issues and pains, it really could not ever work out.

And with the lyrics to "I Dream" so centered around dreaming of singing a song that would bring a smile and having your voice heard, I guess I started losing it when I began to sing along. That ended up being a terrible drive.

Charlene

Semi-revival of the Gemini chat has me grinning ear to ear. I missed these endearingly eyebrow-raising interactions.

(Context: Jeffrey had his skype name as "Charlene" and then changed it back to his signature "hot babe.")

[11:50:59 PM] JAY: I WILL MISS YOU CHARLENE
[11:51:02 PM] JAY: rest in peace..
[11:51:49 PM] Chiisana: R.I.P. Charlene :(
[11:52:02 PM] JAY: 8/23/2013-8/24/2013
[11:52:20 PM] Chiisana: (flower)
[11:55:32 PM] JAY: oh i didnt bring any flowers
[11:55:34 PM] JAY: im sorry
[11:56:02 PM] Chiisana: it's okay Jay
[11:56:04 PM] Chiisana: you are a flower
[11:56:06 PM] Chiisana: a beautiful flower

[12:01:45 AM] hot babe: she will be remembered by us all
[12:01:49 AM] JAY: so she is dead?
[12:01:55 AM] hot babe: not in our hearts
[12:01:59 AM] JAY: she's dead
[12:02:08 AM] Chiisana: ....