Ba ba banished

[12:14:24 AM] Eva: but i'm not good at writing rap
[12:14:27 AM] Chiisana: OOOH
[12:14:31 AM] Chiisana: that's so cool
[12:14:43 AM] Chiisana: let me help!!
[12:14:45 AM] Chiisana: i am like
[12:14:49 AM] Chiisana: most gangsta
[12:14:51 AM] Eva: ........ BANISH YOU
[12:15:10 AM] Chiisana: IS THAT YOUR VERSE
[12:15:13 AM] Chiisana: IS IT A RAP ABOUT YU GI OH
[12:15:16 AM] Chiisana: I BA BA BANISH U
[12:15:19 AM] Chiisana: TO DA SHADOW REALM
[12:15:21 AM] Chiisana: realm
[12:15:25 AM] Chiisana: realm..
[12:15:37 AM] Chiisana: ...realm..
[12:16:17 AM] Eva: [Attention! This is a PSA] We can no longer be friends. Sayonara.

Things I learned from the film shoot

(We finished! Thursday's shoot went til 4 AM and Friday's til 7 AM hyuuuu)

• Patience is an immeasurably treasurable virtue.
• The importance of being perceptive of your environment, details, and those around you.
• Efficiency and safety are important and overlooked. You can't just do things well; you have to be smart about it.
• Ya gotta be assertive, assertive, assertive.
• Speaking up when you notice something wrong is good.
• Ability doesn't mean much if you can't be a respectful and respected person.
• Appreciation, positive feedback, politeness, and sensitivity go a looooong way. Even if you're the one person still trying to encourage others, look out for them, and show gratitude when it's 5 AM and you're just as tired as--if not more tired than--everyone else, it's still more than worth it to be that person. And be proud of it.
• Never expect anybody to do anything for you for free, even if all you can do in return is show humility and gratitude. But preferably if they're doing a favor without much to gain, you should do more.
• I thought manners were common sense but I'm disappointed.
• Hard workers and smart thinkers win.

Let It Go (Korean Rap Cover Ver w/ B.I.'s Lyrics)

Aaaah, soundcloud slammed this down for copyright, so box it is.. ;A; Really disappointed haha.

(Box link)

Korean rap lyrics by: B.I. (showcased in Mix & Match ep 6)
Translation by: iKon Global Subs

"Wall that people built to keep me locked up
Always pretending to be okay because of people's overwhelming attention
I learned while falling,
The way to walk alone
Have you ever had a feeling like
Everyday you're walking on thin ice
Uh, I want to get away from all the things that annoy me
Uh, let it go, let me be me
Become alive and breathe in this freedom"

I'm really sorry for simultaneously ruining what has become a classic Disney song, lyrics by the talented B.I., and the Korean language HAHAHA.......

"Let It Go" k-hiphop arrangement had so much hot mess potential, and many would argue that it really is a mess, but I like it. I enjoy the contrast and the challenge they took. Initially, I thought the idea was cheesy, but then I fell for the raps and restructuring of the song. :'D

Actually, what happened was that I only got about 7 minutes into this episode because this performance was at the beginning and I was smacked in the face with sudden inspiration to record *^*)9 so I grasped onto it!

Huehuehue I know I still have lots of other things (namely studying) to do, but I opened up the project to work on while eating dinner right after the long to-do post, and found that I'd already timed all my vocals last night at 3 AM. BLESS ME from yesterday... So I just finished it up and bam~ First time I recorded purely for fun since ;A;.. August?

To-Do & Reminders 10/20/14

Yoo I'm at home to have dinner before my 7 - 10 class! Every so often, I jot down a private post draft of things I need to do, and I always forget about it or get only the urgent things done and leave the rest to rot. But this week and around mid-November, I've really got to be on top of everything and with my tight scheduling and organization and aahhh >_<

QAQ So airing out my dirty laundry will hopefully force me to commit better LOL..

Today 20th:

• Submit my application for graduation (yea!!!)
• Ask bosses if I can work full day Tuesday and half day Friday
• [due Tues 21st] Cinematography midterm - Type up study guide, notes, send to 2 classmates
• Mix down tracks for Chiisa's project and send back to her
• [maybe] Shit mix - "Let It Go" rap I impulsively recorded last night
• [due Wed 29th] Research paper - Lock down topic?
• Check Seattle plane prices
• Check weather and add "bring umbrella" where appropriate lolol

Tuesday 21st:

• Work - Do weekly check run Tuesday instead of Thurs
• [due Tues 21st] Cinematography midterm - STUDY
• [due Mon 27th] Performance review - Watch movie(s), research, write it?
• Check Seattle plane prices

Wednesday 22nd:

• CINEMATOGRAPHY MIDTERM
• Ask dad if can borrow smartphone on Thursday/Friday
• [due Wed 27th] Research paper draft - Write intro paragraph and outline
• "Cheater" Film Shoot - Pack to bring the next 2 days:
• Equipment: Headphones, extension cords
• Props: Stuffed animals, white chest, girly decorations
• Script (on non-white paper) with notes for audio
• Notepad and pencil for noting actors' details for continuity
• Envelope for expenses receipts
• Check Seattle plane prices
• Don't sleep too late. (AW FFF too busy and it's already 1:29 AM so I don't have a choice but to push the research paper draft to next mon/tues qq)

Thursday 23rd:

• "Cheater" Film Shoot
• Wear neutral/earthy colors!!!
• Head to Edy's house for film shoot after work
• Film shoot til ~1 AM? hyuuuu it went til 4 AM
• Bring:
• sweats and comfy clothes jic
• snacks
• Sleep as fucking soon as you get home.

Friday 24th:

• Work - Try to work half day only
• "Cheater" Film Shoot
• Wear neutral/earthy colors!!!
• Head to campus for film shoot after work
• Film shoot until....... sunrise.................... :/ hyuuuuu it went til 7 AM
• Bring:
• sweats and comfy clothes
• toothbrush, deodorant, hand sanitizer
• water bottles, snacks
• dad's smartphone

Saturday 25th:

• Refuse to wake up until at least 4 PM. HAHAHA guess who woke up at 7 PM
• Sleepover party with NYA friends~
• Bring an umbrella! I forgot to check the list first oops

Sunday 26th:

• Sleepover party with NYA friends~
• [due Mon 27th] Performance review - Final check

Monday 27th/Tuesday 28th:

• [probably] "Cheater" Film - Audio edit first draft
• Check Seattle plane prices
• [due Wed 27th] Research paper draft - Write intro paragraph and outline

Wednesday 29th:

• Research paper draft - Print out, bring to class

Less Defined Goals:

• [by Sat, Nov 1st] Go to Staples and return headphones
• "Cheater" Film Shoot - Make excel doc for expenses
• Blog and/or Facebook - Pictures from cruise..
• [maybe] Vlog(s) - Surprise party.. Cruise..
• Mix - Duet with Chiisana
• Mix - Gemini project
• Update car music
• Cosplay - Add pictures to price list
• I want to say exercise but it probably won't happen.
• Troubleshoot DaVinci Resolve on my comp for Color Correction class
• orz.... I want to write a screenplay for fun.

Reminders for November:

• Figure out scheduling because I have 2 potential party weekends and also ~3 film shoots
• Finish editing Kelly (short film) as final project for Color Correction class and finally upload to youtube...

Late night rambling #11

Sometimes you kind of wonder at what point you started giving too much of a shit about image, how people perceive you, how you present yourself, acceptance, and the weight of vanity and insecurity as driving forces in your approach as a social being.
Like.
I accidentally went down 2 years.. 4 years.. into my facebook posts. Specifically the posts I wrote. First of all, I'm shocked that I used to write any posts at all considering how utterly reserved and fearful I am now towards facebook? I was much more open, was willing to be stupid, wasn't as afraid to put myself and my words out there on a platform frequented by those who physically surrounded me but didn't know me. Then I remember that back then, I was in high school or had just graduated, and I was still a kid and didn't need to care that much. I guess? I wonder if I'm regressing, being less bold and confident, clinging back to my shell? Or is this a part of growing up and me wanting not only to be more adult-like in nature, but to be acknowledged as more mature and levelheaded. I'M ACTUally really... like what happened to me?! I used to post things on facebook?! I can't do that anymore!! Why not? Why can't I just not give a shit? Why can't I let it go and just embrace me and not care if others don't understand or accept 'me?' It's strange that I find it unfortunate that people don't know much about me yet I'm too ashamed of who I am to show myself beyond a few pictures once in a while. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed of myself and my interests. How do others do it and not care if people might think they're weird? Image should not actually be this important.

I'm incoherently brain fried yaaaay I'm also getting pretty sleep-deprived as of late and holy shit busy busy :'D
Also I went on my company cruise last weekend! I want to post some pictures but that requires actually being at home and sitting in front of my computer for more than half an hour not doing homework or with my brains fried out or rebelling against productivity because of overload/overtime at work or too exhausted to do much.

Sometimes I slay myself

Things you accidentally find when looking for something in old convos:

[3/14/2014 11:56:49 PM] Eva: today i found out
[3/14/2014 11:56:54 PM] Eva: that breadmaker in French is
[3/14/2014 11:56:57 PM] Eva: Machine a Pain
[3/14/2014 11:57:05 PM] Eva: yes.... i'd like me a machine o' pain
[3/14/2014 11:58:36 PM] Eva: the only function being "Infliction upon others"
[3/14/2014 11:58:39 PM] Eva: maximum setting


HAHAHHAHA... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... slaps knees and breaks into hysterics at the horizon I'm so dumb

Blue

*u* The pretty box from the Chocolatier Blue (gym badge-looking) chocolates that Fome gifted me on my birthday has just been sitting around, so I decided to put it to use as my new necklace case! It works perfectly and now they won't be tangled and it's so cute alksdfjsdk

Also, I've been more interested in photography lately. Not necessarily practicing it more or improving at it (yet!), but it's something I'd like to dabble with more going forward.

Mm, especially with the things I'm interested in or will be doing, it worries me that I have a poor sense of aesthetic LOL. Pretty shitty with color coordination, inexperienced at framing images, and I tend to upload pictures entirely unfiltered because I don't care. Also with the color correction and cinematography classes I've been taking this semester, I started paying more attention to the look of things. And improving at photography is a good start to improving at film-making! (Not to mention I wouldn't mind trying more cosplay photoshoots whether in front of or behind the camera..)

So today I just tried editing a couple photos for the first time with somewhat more stylistic intent? Not my first time using photo editors at all, but I think things like editing out stuff you don't want people to see or photoshopping yourself on a Love Live card (trololol) are different from trying to .. aesthetically improve the entire look of a photo? Purposely retouching things to draw focus to other things or changing the overall feel.

Shiny things~ Before and after:

heheheh staying up til 4:39 AM watching a show and browsing kpop articles.... this is my one act of "doing something out of feeling and impulsive gut desire instead of obligation" since..how long ago? until how long? :'D

Anti-Cupid

Ahah I get so excited whenever I write narrative because I don't get to often due to disinterest (I wish I had more interest!), a drought of ideas, and disliking conflict.

But here's a short screenplay I wrote for a class! I want to produce more because I enjoy the process of writing, but nope, no ideas.. Anyway, I intend to pitch this to potentially be made into an actual short film. We'll see what happens. ^^

{The Anti-Cupid}

Side note: damn life is so busy QAQ I don't know if I know how to relax anymore

Self-Reliance

The trouble with being primarily self-reliant:

at the times when you really need someone to lean on,

nobody is trustworthy enough

and there's no one there

Wistfully Yours

An expanded and re-purposed version of a fluff that I wrote before, previously entitled Gong Xiang Hua (which I had supposed to mean something like "Shared Flower").

My classmates couldn't understand the story... and tbh I'm not sure if that means flawed writing on my part or that they were just the wrong audience. =A=;;;

I ended up keeping the working title, Wistfully Yours, and am totally aware that it sounds like it should be about some shitty romance à la lingering feelings for an old flame. Oh the delicious irony when I'm just like HAHAHAHA nope you get an ancient Asian-inspired fantasy teenage friendship thing HAHA oh and with giant flying creatures umm have fun.

to all of them

How we get so much flaky bluffing bullcrap, paper promises, and ventures conceived only to quickly fizzle out to disinterest--because here we see conformists insecure about being left behind, grappling blindly onto every glorified fad with lack of any substantial motivation to actually pull through or produce anything heartfelt.

Love Live! Cosplay @ JX2014

Helloo 
I keep having things I want to blog about, and then I don't have time and the moment passes by with a trace of regret. So I'll go right into it while everything's still fresh!! even though it's 3 AM and I'm fucking exhausted as fuckturded fuck aaaa.

Lately I've been really busy (friends, work, mixing, still editing the dumb video, exercise) which is maybe a good thing?? I start school again next Monday and we're ending summer vacation with a bang!

Today, my NYA friends and I attended a small anime/Japanese cultural convention here in NorCal. Our very own Karu did a dance/singing performance actually and was fantastic. ;v; It wasn't exactly an eventful con, but what really made the day for me was probably the fact that Y and I did 'casual' cosplays of Love Live. A bunch of friends and I have been planning to do a Love Live cosplay group (aiming for AX2015 and we already have fabric picked out ohoho), but Y and I are the only ones who have our wigs so decided to put them to use. xD

Following suit to how I grew an attachment to cosplaying Kagepro, we were able to meet a lot of friendly and cute fellow Love Live cosplayers and got to take pictures with them, which makes the entire experience all the more enjoyable and cosplaying worth it. We even got to do a somewhat informal but still fun photoshoot! *A* First time working with a cosplay photographer!

Sonoda Umi - "Love Bind"

Since I already had similar clothes, I decided to cosplay one of Umi's SR cards from the rhythm game mobile app School Idol Festival (which btw gets a bit addicting but it's sooo goood ffff). Except I still fail with circle lenses so as usual, I had to tip between Glasses ver. and BlindAsHell ver. cosplays.

Y made a really lovely and suiting Nozomi! *^* And she did my makeup!!! Bless her for saving my incompetent, lazy soul. (Pinned up bangs here because driving heheh)

dumb things

Perfection it is not, but I'm not sure how much more I could ask for from my friend group. I'm really, very blessed. It's already surreal to have been able to form a group of friends who met over the internet through common hobbies and musical interests, live in the same area, are all extremely talented (seriously tho-- vocals, mixing, animation, and art are all A+), are all attractive and charming in their own ways, enjoy the same tropes and dumb jokes, and click well together.

Most importantly, they're all not only genuinely good people, but good friends. The amount of support and warmth and well intentions and acceptance makes me feel so lucky to be here. Not to mention the amount of affection (shown in varying degrees and ways) and how clear everyone makes it that they love and appreciate the company of each other.

I was reminded of and revisited what I wrote in March after NYA's San Francisco adventure:

I'm also really proud of my friends. I don't think this day would've been as much fun as it was if they didn't all make such great strides in coming out of their shells. Some of us have a lot of shyness, anxiety, awkwardness, inability to express or click easily with others, fear of being loud, fear of being noticed or of garnering attention, fear to be ourselves, fear of being assertive, nervousness when in crowds, distance from others, a dislike for socializing. Sometimes it feels like there's a divide among NYA between those that are outgoing and those that aren't as outgoing, and I saw every single person that usually isn't as outgoing or has any of those traits I listed above take a step forward. By the end of the day, everyone got along greatly and didn't seem afraid. I'm so proud. :)

Since then, even greater strides have been made and more shells shattered. Of course, we're all growing and learning from experiences outside of our interactions with each other, but I really do feel as though everybody in NYA has this magnetism for bringing out the best in others. It's not even limited to us NYA members because we've seen that we've influenced those that have spent time with us, in a good way. It's really nice to see and makes me proud to be friends with such caring and cool people.

I do feel like a lot of us in the group spent most of our lives feeling as though we should suppress our true feelings and behaviors. To be honest, all of us are pretty weird in our own ways and maybe that's why we can all understand and accept each other as we are. Moreover, we see what each other has been missing from our lives and try to provide it or give a nudge towards it, and in that way, we're healing each other and building meaningful confidence. This summer especially, I've been seeing everyone mature or unlock a side to them that may have feared shameful or unworthy. In any case, I'm really happy for all of my NYA friends and happy for myself for having them. I appreciate those dumbbutts.

"I really don't care this time"

"I just want to get it done," I mumble through metaphorical sobs as has happened every time, as I render this video for the billionth time with the billionth change after the billionth time of hating it after working on it every single day for a week, at 3 AM with work in 6 hours fuck me I'm sooooooo bitter about this video but I want to get it up but I just don't like the quality of it fuck my coffee-filled veins tomorrow