The Left Lane

On my way home from work, a man in a wheelchair often sits with a cardboard sign at the intersection of the freeway exit. Because I have a turn up ahead, I'm accustomed to driving in a lane not next to him. Otherwise, I purposely choose to avoid driving the furthermost left lane anyway because I'm antisocial and I would feel awkward being right in his view yet not giving him anything. But sometimes, I look over from my lane and see nobody in the left lane budging at all, and then I regret my decision.
I was thinking today while driving home today about why I had to be the one to pay the monthly installments on my car. And I still think I have the right to be angry because I believe that my priority right now should be my education and--I don't know--maybe trying to have a youth. =_= But it occurred to me that maybe we've entered a situation where we simply can no longer afford it unless I offer up the majority of my paychecks. And so I also thought about how I should become even more careful about spending, etc.
Then I approached the intersection and saw that no cars were in the furthermost left lane. I kind of surprised myself, when I suddenly made the move to switch lanes and stop right in front of the man in the wheelchair. I guess I was tired of regretting it and wallowing up in guilt.
I only had one dollar in my convenient reach, so I couldn't give him much; but when he replied, "Thanks--this'll help a lot!" I realized that what's more important than the amount is the fact that acts of kindness can possibly make somebody's day or instill hope into a lost soul. He seems to sit there in the scorching sun for long hours without much reward or even regard ;; Maybe even a small act like that can make a difference to a person.
I grew up being taught that you should avoid strangers, that the world is full of bad people, and that charity doesn't exist. And I really resent that. It took me long to finally assert myself, but I'm glad that I did although it left a very bittersweet aftertaste with the realization of how selfish I've always lived in these past twenty years.