Survey#3

Every time I see Phillip post a survey on his blog, I just think, "Ah.. I kinda wanna do this too.." and then end up in the palm of the temptation. It's 2:53 AM. I have work tomorrow, but not until afternoon so technically I can stay up. But I also shouldn't be up late because of my health and because of my throat. I really don't feel like sleeping. I can't quite say that I feel restless.. I associate that more with wanting physical action. I guess my soul and mind are restless and lethargic at the same time? I want to do something but I want nothing. At this point, I've been sitting here not knowing what to do but knowing I'll regret staying up but also not wanting to sleep. So I guess I'll just fill out a survey and think about my life and just mindlessly type stuff.

Source: http://tinyurl.com/ko4h7k8

1. If you had 3 wishes, but each took 3 years off your life, what would you wish for? 1) To really figure out what I want to do as a career (so unrealistic omfg), 2) A large sum of money to give to my parents to live well, 3) Somehow exterminate my depression
2. What makes you happy? Knowing I've motivated or inspired someone, or made their day.
3. Living alone with tons of money, or living with your soul mate in a shelter? I don't have a great need for lots of money or material things, so the latter. Plus I believe in my capability and earnestly hardworking attitude to pull me out of poverty if I ever fall into it. My philosophy is kind of.. you can always make more money, but people are hard to replace.
4. Losing the love of your life, or never finding them at all? I'm kind of pessimistic and am okay with the solo life so I'd rather the latter. It's not an insult to my boyfriend; say if he dies because of me, I'd rather not to have met him in the first place. I mean, I'd be missing out, but the pain would kill me much more.
5. Saying something you regret, or saying nothing and regretting it? The latter. Most of the time after something comes out of my mouth, I want to smack myself for it.
6. What’s the hardest goodbye you’ve ever had to do? Not sure! But right now, I'm having a hard time adjusting to my best friend no longer being nearby..
7. Who is the single most amazing person you have known? My 4th and 5th grade teacher was pretty amazing, truly cared about kids, and had the best personality; he was the one that encouraged me to come out of my shell and feel better about myself even though I was bullied a lot and called stupid.
8. Where do you want to be in 10 years’ time? This is the worst question to ask me lol.
9. If you could go back and relive one year of your life, which would it be? I kind of want to re-experience my senior year in high school! Reading my blog posts from then, I seemed really happy, social, and extremely self-confident. ;u; But there were also dark spots I'd like to mend over.
10. Have you ever loved someone only for them not to love you? REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A HUGE FANGIRL OF HENRY LAU FROM SUPER JUNIOR-M
11. Do you feel that everyone is capable of feeling love? It may take some time to find the trigger, but yes. I mean, I (of all people, the coldhearted one that stopped feeling any kind of romantic affection since my first love) have a bf now?!?!
12. Name 5 things in your life that you are thankful for. 1) A household that can afford beyond basic commodities. 2) Being blessed with a lovely best friend. 3) Being blessed with a lovely boyfriend. 4) Having a good job, though I may complain about being tired. 5) My good traits. I have lots of bad ones too, but at least I like my good ones.
13. What is something in this world you feel is overrated? Gravy
14. What can a person do to you that you will not forgive them for? Kill me, because I don't want anyone to grieve or cry over me.
15. Pick a quote that you can relate to. Why can you relate with it? "A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything." (Irish proverb) Self-explanatory. :'D
16. Do you believe that any miracles have happened so far in your life? It's a miracle that I've accomplished anything tbqh.
17. If so, what were they? ^
18. Do you think you have succeeded or failed so far in your life? Depends on what aspect of my life~ I haven't failed entirely, though my pessimism is inclined to believe otherwise.
19. If somebody were to look deep into your eyes, what would they feel/see? hatre-- UM.. HAZELNUT BROWN
20. What personality trait has gotten you into the most trouble? My stubborn Taurus side!!
21. What is the epitome of beauty in your eyes? Good people are beautiful people
22. What has been your greatest struggle? GETTING OUT OF BED EVERYDAY--
23. Do you cry when you get an injury? Not for physical pain, no..
24. If you could ask your partner any question, what would it be? If there were anything I'm that curious about, I probably would have already asked it?
25. What is your most cherished possession? On a superficial level, I really appreciate my iPad and my electric blanket. On a deeper level, my medal for being valedictorian in high school. On a meaningful level, I sadly can't think of anything.
26. Do you fall in love easily or does it take a while? lol love lol I still can't believe I actually have a bf it's really weird I usually never like anyone
27. When was the last time you talked to God? Skip this because I'm not religious and this could get either messy or too technical haha
28. Live with ______ in your heart. Sincerity?
29. If you died tomorrow, what would you want to happen today? I want to make those around me happy, so it might help cushion the drop.. ;;
30. Who has influenced you the most? N/A I'm trying to think of role models but nothing's coming to mind
31. What’s your longest relationship been? I'm in my first one and it's been 3 months?
32. What’s one thing you’d never do? Stop singing.
33. If you could represent one deadly sin, what would it be? I think... pride.
    (HAHAHA IT WORKED I got sleepy and went to bed... though it was at 4 AM alsdgjlskf)
34. What is the overall personal quality you look for in a potential mate? I need to feel comfortable with this person, since I'm so uncomfortable with most of the world ;A;
35. What is the number one problem you have with yourself? I'm so sad all the time.. and I don't know why.. because there's nothing all that sad in my life.. and my emotions are bringing me down..
36. What are you looking for in life? Happiness
37. If you could be anywhere right now with one person, who would it be and where? Right now I really wanna see my best friend. I don't care where.. though preferably it'd be a place with affordable and quality sushi-- /shot
38. What’s the one moment in your life that you think had the biggest impact? These kinds of questions are hard for me. ;A; I can't think of just one that's at the top of the list... But I remember in 7th grade on a Winter day, my mom slapped me and said some words that just shattered me. To this day, I still sometimes think I'm twisted, not normal, a letdown, and a failure.
39. Have you ever felt like just giving up on everything? Too often.
40. How far would you go to protect the people you care about? I want to say to any extent. But I'm also not very courageous.
41. Would you die for another person if it saved their life? I believe that I would, but my lack of courage also tells me that if such a situation occurred, I would hesitate at the most crucial moment and then regret it for the rest of my life.
42. What is the best way to get rid of an enemy? Befriend them and they're no longer an enemy.
43. Have you ever known someone who committed suicide? No D:
44. What can make you smile no matter what? .. Cute kids >_>
45. And finally, are there any last words you want to say to anyone? I'd actually like to relay what Phillip wrote here, because I thought it was truly heartwarming. Thank you Phillip. :)
    
    "I hope these aren’t my last, but to whoever is reading, please know that you are special. You may not know it now, but to someone, you’re special. I hope that someday, if you haven’t already, you realize that you do mean something; you have potential. We’re born for a reason, I do strongly believe that, and everything happens for a reason – so if you fail, you fail, but there’s something better that you’re meant to do or be."