Not exactly a reality check, what I received about two weeks ago. There was no fantasy to begin with, but I guess it's comparable to stepping through the gates into a larger world and suddenly feeling minuscule? I didn't know I was so ignorant and incompetent. I always knew I was small but I guess I never cared to look upwards until now. In the midst of being happy over improvement, I gained confidence that I'm not sure if I deserve. Of course there's always going to be people better out there, of course you can't expect to become professional overnight, of course it doesn't come easily when you're just starting out, of course the journey will and should never end. But there are a lot of really, truly talented people among my peers that I know I would never be able to catch up to because I lack the element that will make them soar: passion. There's passion, inherent talent, resources, the time to practice. It's not impossible, but I realize it would be difficult to substitute these with hard working effort on a late start. I'm not giving up; I'll still give my all. But it's discouraging to know there'll be a limit--a cap--on my ability. I thought I wasn't bad. I still don't think I'm bad, but I'm also not great. Seeing others' ability, I'm not even sure what I can do? My achievements are still achievements but damn do they look insignificant now. And how do you grow as a juvenile when people want to work with the ripened, with the best? It's all about the results and everyone wants the best ones. The industry out there is no different. Is there a place for somebody who is just "not bad" in a world that requires only the best? Can you survive as a jack of all trades but master of none when being the best requires specialty?
CAN I EVEN GET A JOB. WILL ANYONE EVEN TAKE ME FOR AN INTERNSHIP. WHAT CAN I EVEN TELL ANYONE THAT I CAN DO. WHAT HAVE I DONE THAT I CAN EVEN BE PROUD OF. I DON'T WANT TO BE A PATHETIC, DEPENDENT FAILURE. GAAAAH THIS AFFECTS EVERYTHING. runs around in circles
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Hi, Eva. I stumbled across your YouTube through Diane's.
ReplyDeleteAs someone that works parallel to the industry, I just wanted to share some (albeit unsolicited) advice and encouragement. Internships and jobs can get very competitive, such that many times it's about finding an edge for yourself. Having an easily sharable portfolio of work, that showcases both your diversity of skill, and depth of skill, is critical to securing a job or internship. Hiring managers are looking for individuals that can work independently, after given a set of instructions or key guidelines. The only opportunities to know if a candidate is up to task is through a resume, cover letter, and portfolio of work.
Seeing the work published on your YouTube, it's very evident that you have strong fundamentals in videography. The best thing you can do is keep on producing content and upping the quality with each new piece. More content means more opportunities to show that you have the skills someone is looking for. If you have any questions, please don't feel shy to reach out to me on Twitter. Or, you can ask Diane for my contact info. :)
Aw, thanks so much!!! I'm really sorry for the late reply as I haven't been around my blog much lately. I'm touched that you reached out to me although meeting you this way is so surprising LOL.... (She has mentioned to me before having met someone on a bus who fits your profile and I confirmed with her.)
DeleteThanks for your advice and encouragement. I did make a demo reel that I've been submitting to places and I think it does raise my chances, so gotta hope for the best now!
Oh dear, it seems my reputation precedes me. LOL.
DeleteLate replies happen; we're all busy people. Best of luck in getting the internship that you're hoping for! Maybe I'll see you around, in person, sometime.
Thanks :> I've luckily secured an internship though it wasn't the initial dream one (Pixar, a total shot in the dark).
DeleteI feel like we'll probably overlap sometime ahah. See you around!