yeah, I'm a Born Hater

Epik High's new album inspired me to dig up my rendition of "Born Hater" that i never posted.

i wrote and rapped this in 2014 when i was a film student angst'ing against pressure to change majors. anyway i work in video production now & it's going gr8 😊

warning cuss words !!

(yes it's just the same text copy and pasted from my tweet—just b/c I always feel like the embed is on the verge of breaking or in case my twt account ever goes down LOL)

Epik High's new album inspired me to dig up my rendition of "Born Hater" that i never posted.

i wrote and rapped this in 2014 when i was a film student angst'ing against pressure to change majors. anyway i work in video production now & it's going gr8 😊

warning cuss words !! pic.twitter.com/6wHYyr2mTW

— Eva ❖ CODEX // Gemini (@waterpixieva) January 21, 2021

[YT link]

Honestly surprised at myself for never posting this all these years... If I'm remembering correctly I think I wrote this before Epik High announced their Born Hater cover contest—and then aaalllll the cool rappers started posting their versions and I got intimidated HAHA. It's a bit cringy but I'm embracing it as part of my story. :3 Still would likely consider it better writing than what I can do now!

Lyrics:

Gemini [gals] Impact

SCREAMS this wasn't on the agenda aT ALL but ..... instead of sleeping at a responsible time last night I was spontaneously inspired to try voice acting. As Ganyu, the new ice archer chara that just came out in Genshin Impact! Lolol leading up to her release, I somehow had very little interest in her but the more I got to know her.... who am I kidding, she's an ice archer—I was never meant to stand a chance. 🥺 She's also kind and hardworking and wise and beautiful...

After playing her story quest, I fell in love with her Japanese seiyuu's soft, sweet voice so I thought it could be fun to try my own take of Ganyu in English ;v;.. It's surprising how different her Eng VA's approach is to her personality—it's more rigid, cold, and unapproachable. AND THEN AAA two of my closest friends mimi and chiisana agreed to record on a whim too! Honestly I have absolutely no aptitude for voice acting and almost scrapped this entirely before even asking them but mimi and chiisa are way, way too perfect for their parts so this feels extremely precious; I'm happy we did this. 😭 Thus the first yolo Gemini girls' fandub was born: 

quick little #GenshinImpact dub!
🧚🏻‍♀️⚜️❄️

paimon: @mimi_moiselle
lumine: @chiisanauta
ganyu: @waterpixieva pic.twitter.com/HRe6ZZXsce

— Eva ❖ CODEX // Gemini (@waterpixieva) January 15, 2021

[YT link]

Also would like to give credit to Albedo's Eng voice actor Khoi Dao for being the inspiration that gave me the courage to try this ;; English is his third language and now he speaks it so well...!! Here a link to him talking about his journey with trying to fix and then learning to accept his accent. So awe-inspiring. I wish him every success and also he's super funny; I am a fan of this dude now.

PS: Wowow I get to make a "voice acting" label!! Also tagging "mixing" because this surprisingly took a lot of complex audio mix work 😳 A whole lot of EQ, multiband compression, and even frequency spectrogram work.. but I'm really pleased with how the mix came out considering it was my first time! I learned so much about VA even from this very short clip ehe

2021 New Year's Resolutions

At the start of 2020, for some possibly prophetic reason I didn't do my usual 100 resolutions because I didn't feel ready to set new goals for myself; though I wrote out 40 as "mid-year resolutions" in July!

It feels all too soon to have a whole new, long list of [silly to serious] ambitions but I'm determined to do this right now. 💦

I'm sure we've all already heard all the reasons last year was rough for everyone, but I think on top of everything there's been this unspoken layer of restraint when it comes to speaking honestly about or processing our mental health and personal progress outside of productivity? There certainly have been times when I was experiencing darkness but didn't feel that I ought to talk about it especially publicly, or burden others when they had plenty of 2020 darkness to deal with already, or even write it out it in my private diary as an outlet—and I try to be fairly expressive about these topics so I can't even imagine the extent that others have suppressed themselves. ;; "People are drawn to shiny, nice things that help them forget about their troubles so they won't like me if I talk about negative subjects" is a thought that I imagine has probably crossed many people's minds. I've seen so many people act as strong as they can while silently burning themselves out emotionally.

And I'll also confess this from my perspective as a youtaite while watching the vtuber migration through the year—seeing so many of my peers being celebrated for being a character has made me both worry about their fatigue while having to suppress the flawed sides to their humanity, and also wonder if I ought to do the same. But I've kinda realized that that's not me. I've publicly documented all my shortcomings since I was a child hahaha.

So with this list I hope to be a bit more open than I was in 2020 and signify that I'm gonna do my best to take better care of myself, be introspective, and try to healthily progress towards improving my wellbeing and whatever little goals I have! ;^;)9 More than anything, I want to focus on breaking some stubborn mental habits and reprogram my outlook to be less grim & more forgiving towards myself!