Sunday, December 30, 2012

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Uh, now I'm just kinda afraid that I'm being misinterpreted because I'm saying that while sometimes I naturally would wish to be in a relationship, I also really don't want to be in one--seeing as how I just insulted and look down upon the majority of them. But yeah of course, whatever happens happens and anything can change anytime and we never know, and I'm not really ever actively looking for/hoping for/pursuing anyone.
Not a big deal, but like I said, I'm afraid I'm being misinterpreted xD~ also mind you that I was spewing rambling thoughts at 4 AM. |DDDD;; la la la la


Tweets too long for twitter pt. 1

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Can I please express my distaste for rebound relationships, like yeah good for you for finding companionship and support but I'm sorry you couldn't see that person's charm until after you were broken, lonely, and vulnerable--

But if those are genuine feelings that can run the rocks through time and turbulence, and this was merely a way for you to realize it, then good for you and good luck.

(this is directed at nobody in particular. mind you it's also 3:38 AM :'D)



Edit;;
Aaaaaaand then this turned into late-night rambling instead LOL.

I don't really know how I feel about relationships, nor have I ever confronted it, and I've been thinking about this lately. (I'm disregarding the fact that even my own mom thinks guys generally don't like me, and that I might be a terrible girlfriend anyway.) Sometimes I wish I could be in one but sometimes I am entirely against being in a relationship at this time. But I'm thinking, like.. if--and this is a really strong if--I were asked out in this sphere of time, would I say yes? Because my brain's telling me I wouldn't. But what if I really liked this person? But I've also become incapable of romantic affection so I don't ever feel like.. I like anybody in that way, or would like someone enough to feel like it's okay to enter a relationship. But I feel like most people enter relationships anyway whether or not their feelings are wishy-washy, which just feeds how much I think most relationships are superficial and flimsy. And most turn out to be short-lived. Is it worth it? When it's so short and shallow? Is it worth that initial spark of happiness that too often blurs and bleeds into stubborn tolerance or bland nothingness? Not to mention, potential consequences in friendships or bonds with surrounding people perhaps being disturbed. But I guess some people look for happiness in the present, whether it sustains itself in the long-run or not, and I'm one of those people (along with my best friend, with whom I've a mutual understanding on too many topics) who approach this thing called 'love' very cautiously and with an attitude of paranoid rejection. And we think about things like, how much do we even know each other? How would we treat each other? Would we have a future together--is there even any future in the grasp of our capability? Can we imagine ourselves married? I used to sometimes question whether or not I had a heart, and now I know I do, but it's just encased in ice so I guess I'm waiting for somebody with a grade-A flamethrower.
This cloud of word vomit had no point or conclusion and I just had an ice cream sandwich despite it just now turning 4:00 AM.

Tea

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

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I've been really into green tea lately ever since 1) I read in a health textbook that black and green teas are good for you--whereas herbal teas supposedly aren't distinctively healthy--and 2) I noticed that I get headaches a lot because I'm often dehydrated.

The company I work for is based in Taiwan, so we often have Taiwanese snacks and products around from our visitors from HQ. We recently ran out of the Kirkland brand green tea so I dug around our cabinets sullenly, and came across an interesting, sleek, cylindrical, black container that I would've NEVER thought was tea tbh LOL. And just my luck, it was green tea ♥


I found it fascinating because the pyramid-shaped teabag was originally so empty-looking that I thought I was being ripped off. ._. So I set it to brew and left for a few minutes, except when I came back IT WAS LIKE ALL THE SHRIVELED LEAVES WOKE UP WITH THEIR LEAFY ARMS OUTSTRETCHED AND YAWNING FROM THEIR LONGTIME SLUMBER AND THEN HAD BABIES OF IRON BECAUSE THAT SHIT WAS NOW GIGANTIC AND HEAVY IT WAS LIKE FUCKING SORCERY and it tasted so good I had to brew a few more cups with the same teabag even though you're not supposed to do that. #rebel

So I stalked Zenique's website and wow, I am not surprised that it's all organic because the tea's really light, but it's heavenly and refreshing.
I now have a favorite tea.<3

AND I JUST FOUND OUT THEY ONLY SELL IT IN TAIWAN AND THIS RANDOM POST IS REALLY ONLY BECAUSE I'M BOOHOO'ING OVER IT AND WANT SOMEONE TO GO TO TAIWAN AND GET ME SOME

I Miss You

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

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(....the Korean drama. Don't worry; I'm fine LOL.)


BECAUSE SOMETIMES I GET REALLY OVERWHELMING FEELS FROM DRAMAS.
(though the feels are a LOT dimmer now because I've been meaning to write this blog since 12 days ago but never found time to get past the first line)

POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT BTW.

I would write this on my entertainment blog like what I did with Reply 1997, but rather than an overview/"you should watch this!" promo entry, this is more personal--plus full of my fangirlness.

Okay so where to even start? The drama is really good. It's one of those dynamic stand-out dramas that have something special and YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS but it has to be classified as a "good" drama.

It is, however, a dark melodrama that is clouded by bullying, violence, murder, and even rape. I read somewhere on someone's review that it's a series befitting for a sadomasochist? At first, I didn't understand this--although the very notion intrigues me and further drew me towards giving it a try--but now I think I agree fullheartedly. Everything's really twisted, and even as a viewer, I feel kind of twisted as well.


So the plot.. The story tells of a boy (Han Jungwoo) and girl (Lee Sooyeon) who find each other at 15 and it's the most beautiful and pure tale: they give each other exactly the strength that their lonesome selves needed the most, and eventually a feeling deeper than friendship blooms. All they can see is each other--all they know is each other. And what I really appreciate is that their friendship is equally beautiful as their unspoken love.
Unfortunately (and there's always an unfortunately), they're separated by the most painful of events, and meet again by chance 14 years later, never having forgotten each other.

Sounds pretty generic at first. First love, separation, meet and fall in love again "you are my first love I can never forget you!!!!" lovey dovey blah blah. And at first, I doubted the whole separated-by-the-most-painful-of-events thing.. I mean, how bad could it be?
.____________________. Oh boy was I wrong. Oh boy. This is one DARK-ass drama. If you didn't think the misfortune could get worse, no I'm pretty sure the writers thought of something new to grab at your heartstrings and squeeze them til the cry for mercy. Definitely brought out a lot of tears from me. And when it's not tears, it's just....absolute shock or anger or just. FEELS. FEELS ERRRRWHERE. It's a really intense drama lol.

And it's very well contrasted by the light fluffiness that is the pure friendship and love of our young protagonists.
And I know they're technically not kids anymore, but teens.. but I will refer to them as the kids and the child actors, partially because of the "innocent children" portrayal and nature of the young Jungwoo and Sooyeon.


I really loved watching their childhood together. Honestly, it was only reason I started being interested in the drama at all. xD I saw some cute GIFs of young Jungwoo and Sooyeon together and was like WAT DRAMA IS THIS?? so I googled it and was super surprised to find a .. mature, intense-looking drama starring JYJ's Yoochun, Yoon Eunhye, and Yoo Seungho. O_o

Not gonna lie, but from the start, I wasn't very interested in the adult cast. xD I feel like a total pedo saying this but I .. prefer.... children? in general? And and and I really like the child cast for this drama. THEY'RE SO CUTE. Also, I'm not one of those girls that're currently ga-ga over Yoochun although I like him. Before even starting the drama, I thought to myself, "I'm probably gonna watch this lightheartedly and then stop when it starts showing them as adults."

Uh. Prediction was correct. I've been following the episode recaps (because I'm curious about the story now) but I can't..bring myself to keep watching the drama. The transition to Jungwoo and Sooyeon's adulthood was very rocky for me.

And it makes me really sad to see just how much Jungwoo and Sooyeon have changed. ;A; It's understandable, but it's also a bit hard to swallow? to see the ever-gentle (although cowardly) Jungwoo become an obsessed, fiery-tempered man.
But Sooyeon is the one that hit me really hard.

Because young Sooyeon is like the epitome of frail and pitiful, but persistent innocence. She was like the prettiest, pure white flower in the fields of corrupted arrogance--always trampled on and torn to pieces, battling the wind and rain AND SHE STILL COMES OUT OF IT being the prettiest, most down-to-earth (no pun intended), and untainted white flower. There's something about Sooyeon that's so innocent, even if she talks about being a murderer's daughter and even if she has countless scars.

But to see how twisted and vengeful, cunning, and broken Sooyeon becomes in her adulthood.
It's why I couldn't bring myself to keep watching the drama. Because it's so true to life, because it's so damn realistic. AND IT'S SO SAD how easily innocence can be ruined--how the most pure and happy children can grow up to be bitter and hateful.

It kind of hit me especially hard because I feel like I can relate. ;w; Although I haven't been through things nearly as traumatic as Sooyeon, I know things like bullying for a child can really scar them for life. It hurts a lot and changes you. I'm always saying I'm just a twisted, hateful person (who's awkwardly antisocial, to boot) and it surprises some people because they would've perceived me as a happy, pure, and kind [?] person on the surface. I've surprised quite a few people, actually, with the other sides to me. Ttly irrelevant to this post though.



NOW CAN I PLEASE JUST MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE THE CHILD CAST

I feel
like such a pedo
holy shit.


Okay first let's address Yeo Jingu, who plays young Han Jungwoo. YEO JINGU. WHY ARE YOU 15 YEARS OLD. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. WHY ARE YOU SO CHARISMATIC AND CHARMING BUT ADORABLE BUT 15 YEARS OLD. I'M TTLY PEDO CRUSH'ING OVER YOU AND DASS NOT GOOD. I hate that I've become one of those noona fangirls. He's actually very mature for his age though, in personality and thinking and in his deep voice.
It's interesting to look at pictures of him from even earlier in his acting career because that little kid grew up to be such a handsome devil.

And Kim Sohyun.


QURL. :<
She's perfect. I have a giant pedo girlcrush on her too, ngl LOL. HOW IS SHE ONLY 13 YEARS OLD......? She's talented and sweet, and her face is fucking flawless: angelic and doll-like aaaahh she's gorgeous.



Can we just give all of this year's awards to these two brilliantly impressive actors?
They convey emotions, ideas, and naturalness better than many adult actors I've seen. (Is it also bad that I can't help but ship them now because they have such good chemistry--)


I almost wish they had a drama all to themselves, not only because I prefer the protagonists when young, but also because they're just so good. I could watch them forever.

Kim Sohyun especially deserves all of the applause in the world for her performance in the later scenes of their childhood (mainly in the warehouse and on the road after ;x; oops I said nothing). To be 13 years old... and to act out that kind of a traumatic experience.... to execute it so well, to pull off such a range of emotions, to be able to make the audience cry. Actress Kim Sohyun, you have all my respect.
(Guhhhhh and she's so adorable and nice irl too. She's too perfect. Make it stop; I'm jealous.)

#EvasanaConvos pt. 3

Monday, December 10, 2012

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[5:14:16 PM] Chiisana: oh yeah LOL I was eating rice and I was like
[5:14:21 PM] Chiisana: don't people say that eating rice will make you fat
[5:14:38 PM] Chiisana: but wait asians eat rice like 3x a day
[5:14:59 PM] Chiisana: -googles how asians eat so much rice but don't get fat-
[5:15:15 PM] Eva: .........
[5:15:24 PM] Eva: what a life you lead.
[5:16:02 PM] Chiisana:
ONE MAN'S EXPLANATION: As you can see from the old Chinese ladies that power walk everywhere, asians live a much more active lifestyle, and thus is why they don't gain the weight.

Me: ................-looks at myself- ......INACCURACY. -closes article-
[5:16:30 PM] Eva: LOOOOOOL

BLOGCEPTION 2012 ver.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

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This is from my private xanga, and it's something I never shared with my public blogs even though it's been running for 6 years.
But being someone that's really self-absorbed and is obsessed with self-analysis and self-improvement, I find this REAAAALLY interesting LOL. It's also why I've always liked blogging--other than preserving memories, I like documenting things that happen in my life and being able to read them again later. I like reliving the past and seeing just how I've changed as a person.

I mean, this starts with the me from middle school. And now I'm in my second year of college. :D It's funny because I change drastically.......but at the same time, I REALLY DON'T CHANGE AT ALL. I mean, I'm still doing this HAHAHA. But I feel like it represents me so well.. Like I'm transparent..

Except my responses keep getting longer and longer, and it really reflects how long-winded and persnickety I've become.

Thursday, December 6, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 03, 2007

Know you're my yogurt, Lucifer?

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So I've been reading old xanga entries of mine.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011
[7:55:56 PM] Evalasting: lawl =w=
[7:56:05 PM] Evalasting: so the other day i was watching PBS Kids as always and this girl hugged her dog
[7:56:08 PM] Evalasting: and i was like
[7:56:10 PM] Evalasting: ;______;
[7:56:11 PM] Evalasting: i want a dog..
[7:56:13 PM] Evalasting: or a boyfriend.
[7:56:23 PM] Chiisana: awww ;w;
[7:56:46 PM] Chiisana: same difference 8D
[7:57:08 PM] Evalasting: exactly LOL
[7:57:15 PM] Chiisana: except dogs are more loyal and wouldn't ever want to leave you ;w; LOL

ASDLKFJSDFLF LMFAAAOOOOOOO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE'RE SO BAD



Recently, it was Paul's (Shrurikan@twitter; Tidus2300@yt) birthday so Candy (CandyCHUU@yt; _candify@twitter) and I did a trio with the wonderful and amazingly talented Charles!!

bear minimum effort for fatass' birthday
(user/candyCHUU)

Inside jokes:
1. We call Paul a "fatass bear" and sometimes "Charles"
2. After the three of us watched the video for Lucifer's misheard lyrics, we started calling each other "yogurtbby"

I spent way too much time mixing something that's supposed to be the "bear" minimum effort LOOL. Mixing a voice generator was interesting~ Can I also mention how cute Candy's art is?

I like our lack of hesitation towards profanity.

[12/4/2012 2:53:58 PM] Ryan: hehe
[12/4/2012 2:54:05 PM] Ryan: I love when Eva says "shit" and "bitch"
alsdkfj puahahaha<3

There can be miracles when you believe.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

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Wonder Girls (Sunye & Ye Eun) - When You Believe ("The Prince of Egypt" OST)

I've been listening to this on repeat for the past 4 hours. ;w;
Hits me right in the heart.
My only source of strength right now.
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Tender memories of a perfect summer.

Lately, every time I think a group of people are like a family, the cookie crumbles at the hand of reality. It's comforting to know that in the end, I still have them, and that the bubble-like memories are no lie.

idol mitai

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

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 (≧≦ ) Sometimes I wish I could I could blog like an idol.

You know~ in an idol..:*☆ style!! 
It looks like a lot of fun~! 

I-I would show off my love  although it's embarrassing.. ///

hehe this is my current love!! 
ice cream sandwiches!!!  o(**)o   ~a whole box of happiness!
although..  I ate so much that there's not much left..  sigh~ 

It would be so much fun to blog like an idol   Really, really cute!! So much color, animation, and sparkles~! 

and then I remember--NO. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ


So it was recently

Monday, November 26, 2012

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my grandpa's birthday, and my dad made him a photo album as a present.


This is the cover.
(I know; can't you tell just how much time and effort I put into the censoring?~♥)
(Lol I fucking would be the tallest person in my family. This is why I feel like a monster.)

The inside is comprised of many memories: group pictures, wedding photos, snaps of relatives that live far away, baby pictures.

But what slayed me was the back cover:


My grandpa, with one eye closed, raising his cell phone at the camera.
Stahp. I can't.
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y r u here.

Bro Deito

Saturday, November 24, 2012

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So I've been in the LA area for Thanksgiving break and had the pleasure of hanging out my awesome friends Ian, Andy/Kimchi, and Bern today. :D Just those 7 hours made the entire draggy trip worth it haha. It's been a while since I've smiled or laughed that much. Thanks for the truly enjoyable day! You guys are some of the cooler people that I know =v=)b

(This post is really just a collection of pictures documenting our time together.)
(Edit: Added vlog at end of post!)
(Edit: Added purikura~)

Day started out with going to a cafe and getting pearl drinks/coffee.

(because this picture is reminiscent of the turkey leg bone picture I took of Ian at Disneyland)

And of course, having a random stranger take pictures of us--well hey, she offered--while waiting for a table at the ramen/Japanese restaurant. 8D

[Andy, Bern, Eva, Ian]
awks

bro stance
(click for larger size~)

I See the Light (Duet)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

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I uploaded a video for the first time since January!


【Duet】 I See the Light 【Eva &     】

[I recommend that you start from 2:00 or at least give that a chance before clicking the back button.]

Last March, I was asked for a duet by a very talented individual whom I'd admired for a while from afar—somebody that I'm sure many recognize and miss. Thank you for this opportunity of the greatest honor and sorry that this has been delayed for so many months because of me.
祝你生日快乐 & 祝你好运! :D

Originally performed by: Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi ("Tangled" OST)
Illustration: Fanart by Jakuroi
MP3 download: https://www.box.com/s/d210i5gk4w7vuk6ts5nl

Thank you to ChiisanaChanx3 for assisting with EQ aka saving my incompetent ass ♥
Thank you to mystraven for choosing a font for me so I could rush this crummy video after realizing I needed to upload ASAP ehehehe;;;

It's been 10 months since my last upload!! Unless I produce some random short cover while procrastinating during finals, my next upload probably won't be for a while. Nevertheless, thank you to those who have shown me support and kindness. ^^
o right and happy thanksgiving wow i really need to pack 'cause leaving for LA in 5 hours and i've been doing this instead herp


This duet really holds a lot of meaning for me. It's not exactly a SECRET but because I was asked to not credit him, I'll respect that and won't mention the name of my duet partner in this post. ^^ (Although if you've been around the vocaloid scene, for many, it's pretty obvious~)

I'm really grateful to him though. I was presented TWO opportunities of great honor actually: a duet and a friendship--neither of which I would've ever had the courage to .. pursue? ask for? Even though I looked up to him a lot and could only ever dream of those things.
Asking me to this duet was really the first time I actually had a real conversation with him and it was what led to us becoming friends. ;w; Honestly, I would've never expected us to become friends, and I'm very lucky because he's overall a very friendly, sweet, and AMAZING person whose company I appreciate.

I'm also really late. 8 months late to be exact. But even though it takes me a long time, I always get things done. I don't forget promises. Of course I had to prioritize other things (school, work, birthday choruses, sleep) over this, but I NEVER forgot about this duet for even a second. The immense amount of guilt I carried towards him in those 8 months..................... OTL;;;;; His lines were DONE in March (which is incredible because I've heard that he's often late with lines? haha) and I kept being able to do nothing but apologize... Then I finally finished my lines around the end of August/early September. By then, he had to "graduate" from the community and from being a utaite, and so I was left with the task of mixing it. I basically had no time to work on it until the past few weeks LOL I procrastinated doing homework to redo some of my parts.. other times to work on the mix..
Finally, last night =v= I had to stay up til almost 5 AM because that was the final push required to get this done. AND NOW IT'S DONE YAAAAY AND THAT'S THE TL;DR STORY OF THIS VIDEO

I'm sure a lot of people miss him ;v; and miss his voice. This video might be a little surprising for some people who didn't expect to hear much of his voice again. INVOKING AAAALLLLLL THE FEELS. /o/



On an unrelated note, I'm in LA right now for Thanksgiving! (We left at 8 AM.. so 3 hours of sleep even though it's vacation, woooooo. 8DD;;;;;)
Very excited because I'm meeting up with Ian, Andy, and Bern on Saturday!!


Eva @waterpixieva
If there's a drink called Icy Delight, I'm gonna buy it and when my order finally comes, I'mma burst into, "AND AT LAST ICY DELIIIIIGHT"

White

Monday, November 19, 2012

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Because I'm that loser that gets overly excited over new clothes LOL. My wardrobe is that plain.
Not a dress this time though!

I was trying it on last night and decided to just camwhore so this is me being weird at 2 AM AHAHAHA like idk what that pose is or whatever oh please just ignore me

Anyway, I've been wanting a sweater like this for a while, and especially in a color like white, cream, pink, etc. Not sure why, but I've been donning a shit ton of black lately--which is totally unfamiliar to me. My friend and I used to joke in middle school that if my youtube account at the time (waterpixie) were ever to be suspended, I would start wearing black all the time LOLL. Oh wait it did get suspended. Everything all makes sense now O A O

Also new warm leggings yaaaay I've been meaning to buy some more 'cause I'm trying to get into leggings/pantyhose, but only owned 2 pairs 'til now. xD

Omg I look like some upset spoiled brat that's trying too hard to be cute

Buffet #3

Sunday, November 18, 2012

2 comments
[11:29:06 PM] Chiisana: SHOULD WE BUFFET IT UP AGAIN THIS WEEKEND
[11:29:25 PM] Eva: omg you
[11:29:33 PM] Eva: let me fetch my tweet from earlier today
[11:29:41 PM] Eva: @waterpixieva
I WANT RAW OYSTER. AND SASHIMI. AND JUST..a buffet. I just want to pig out. Maybe I'll drag otherchild out this weekend for de-stressing ;A;
[11:29:47 PM] Chiisana: .......................
[11:29:48 PM] Chiisana: LOOOOOOOOOL
[11:29:57 PM] Eva: @waterpixieva
Randomly started craving raw oyster again on the drive home
[11:30:02 PM] Chiisana: I was literally just like
[11:30:03 PM] Chiisana: sob
[11:30:11 PM] Chiisana: I'm really depressed and stressed and I want to pig out sob
[11:30:22 PM] Eva: .... i think we are the same person.
[11:30:25 PM] Chiisana: probably.


.............
So this is our 3rd consecutive weekend of going to a buffet together and raiding the sushi area.
We went at like 5 PM because the one we went to this time is really popular and has crazy lines. :D But despite its reputation, it being a sushi/seafood buffet, and in our area, it was both our first times going. BEST BUFFET WE'VE BEEN TO SO FAR. The sashimi was better than a lot of sushi-specialty restaurant sashimi that we've had.


(those mounds of salmon sashimi on chiisa's plate. no joke.)

【Gemini Vlog】 Myst's Surprise Birthday Party

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One of the more memorable moments of our #GeminiMeetUp 2012. ♥
The full vlog covering the entire trip will be uploaded on Gemini's channel so look out for it at: http://www.youtube.com/SoujiStar

Birthday Girl Myst - http://www.youtube.com/mystraven

GEMINI:
Chiisana - http://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3
Eva - http://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Jay - http://www.youtube.com/JaySingYou
Jeffrey - http://www.youtube.com/unaffection (not present)
Mimi - http://www.youtube.com/x3LoveyDovey
Ryan - http://www.youtube.com/RyanEatPho

[9:33:53 PM] Chiisana: 【Gemini in Real Life and not with Art covering our faces no this is really us with many cameras and this is real】



[11/12/2012 12:22:59 AM] Chiisana: The cake being on fire was the most unsuspecting yet hilariously perfect thing that happened ;u;)b
[11/12/2012 12:31:07 AM] Chiisana: okay now I think I've watched it 10 times
[11/12/2012 12:31:14 AM] Ryannie: I feel so lucky to have made such amazing memories
[11/12/2012 12:31:16 AM] Ryannie: ugh..
[11/12/2012 12:31:18 AM] Eva: ajsdflk i keep watching it over and over too
[11/12/2012 12:31:19 AM] Eva: even though
[11/12/2012 12:31:20 AM] Ryannie: best vacation of my life
[11/12/2012 12:31:23 AM] Chiisana: I feel so so lucky too
[11/12/2012 12:31:24 AM] Chiisana: ><
[11/12/2012 12:31:25 AM] Eva: i spent 3 months on this video LOL
[11/12/2012 12:31:29 AM] Ryannie: lmao
[11/12/2012 12:31:34 AM] Eva: i've probably seen it over a hundred times omg

[11/12/2012 12:40:04 AM] Chiisana: now I'm listening to RSGB and wanting to cry LOL
[11/12/2012 12:40:09 AM] Chiisana: I wish life could just go away
[11/12/2012 12:40:13 AM] Chiisana: so we could have lots of time
[11/12/2012 12:40:18 AM] Chiisana: to create wonderful Gemini things together
[11/12/2012 12:40:24 AM] Chiisana: T^T

[11/12/2012 2:14:10 PM] Jay: [chii] just brings out her rock and everyone acts like its normal to have
[11/12/2012 2:14:12 PM] Jay:  a rock at the table

[11/12/2012 2:13:38 PM] ⊱⊱ Mimi ❝나를 잊지마요❞: I love when we see the cake
[11/12/2012 2:13:40 PM] ⊱⊱ Mimi ❝나를 잊지마요❞: combusting
[11/12/2012 2:13:41 PM] ⊱⊱ Mimi ❝나를 잊지마요❞: LOL

Responsibility

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

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Ahaha I've become so accustomed to bombarding this place. Woooo triviality~

Two things today that I'm really relieved about:

This is one of those whiny rants

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

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(in which I give little to no fucks about trying to make any intelligent sense or maintaining dignity)

[7:00:07 PM] Eva: wow i'm just. prepared to kill myself 'cause my boss asked if i could come tomorrow since the other intern won't be here and i'm like lol no i have class from 10:30 til 3 and then 6 til 9, and then she's like, "Okay, I'll just.. wait for you on Thursday.................... It'll be a lot." and i'm just like QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ because i already have a paper due tomorrow and another assignment due Friday and i already worked an hour overtime today QQQQ okay time to go home bye

As soon as I got home, I lost all strength in my knees and now I'm stressed out, and guess what I just did over eating dinner? I watched Citizen Kane because it's required for film class and now I have to shower and keep working on my stupid anthropology paper, and then possibly start on the thingy due Friday--'cause who knows how late I'm getting home from work on Thursday--for Argumentation and Advocacy. which I really don't want to do because (refer to rant about how I hate that class). Y'know, work wasn't as stressful as usual today and I actually had a some downtime which was nice but you know what I did with that? I worked on my stupid anthropology paper. Wow. Just. Should I just stop breathing then to get everything done? 'Cause there's this thing I'd like to do too that's called sleep and idk that sounds kinda nice; oh right and those other things called rest or fun or happiness or hobbies--those sound rather dandy too. Also I'm a little tired of carrying others' weight. Ok I'm sorry I just get really grumpy when I'm tired.


Oh yeah I got instagram today on my iPad at work because the sky looked really cool although idk what I'm gonna do with it (if anything's done at all) 'cause I already spam twitter and this blog with random stuff, and redundantly too. Like srsly this ain't even a respectable web blog chronicling anything interesting--I just come here to this spamhole and puke into words and pictures everything I think or see.

Anyhow, the sky was interestingly checkered today.

Late night rambling

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This is just me overthinking and overanalyzing everything at usual, at 2 AM. Something I ponder over every so often, and I'm just type-vomiting 'cause the cogs in my head are running but don't want to do anything productive.

But I kind of wonder what people think of me--how they see me, what kind of image I have, and what attributes of mine they care about.
(Excuse me for possibly sounding vain.)

I feel like some people only see me as a face, or a pair of legs.
Others see me only as a brain: the valedictorian nerd who's only capable of getting good grades.
And others as just a voice. Or even a mixer.


It's really selfish, but sometimes I wish that everybody could see all of these. ;w; I don't really know how to explain it..

I guess this kind of sparked though from my recent bloom of activity and attention within the Twitter community. Sometimes it feels like it's been forgotten that I sing? Or that people are just not really aware that I sing at all, because they've been introduced to me as the tall girl with the legs that Chii likes? On the other hand, sometimes I'm seen as only a voice and it seems that it's forgotten that there's a person behind that. Then there's school, where I'm seen as just an all-around dull, nerdy wallweed.
And it's not that I don't appreciate attention or any acknowledgement of my existence at all--it's just that it feels like my image is sometimes very one-dimensional when I know there's so much to me than that, and I know you'd like me a little better if you got to know me.

Again, it's just me being selfish and delusionally idealistic. xD Realistically, people are just gonna see what they're given and I'm no celebrity so why would they take that much interest anyway LOL

Only Hope

Monday, November 12, 2012

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https://www.box.com/s/4gboacmmye4dd1740agj

(Warning: gross nasally tone and pitchiness)

It's midnight and I'm procrastinating on a research paper that's due Wednesday. Been having a gnawing desire to sing this song ever since I went on my Suzy (Miss A) spree and relistened to her version from the finale of Dream High. [Hi, I now have the biggest girlcrush on Suzy, alongside Eunji from A Pink.]

This has always been one of my favorite songs though, despite my never having watched A Walk to Remember. *A* It's beautiful, calming, yet heart-stirring. <3 I don't know why, but it holds a lot of meaning to me.
Fun fact: I made a Tsubasa Chronicle AMV to this song about 6 years ago.

BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT that I have some inexplicable bias towards Mandy Moore because I've been told twice--in entirely different settings, by two unassociated people--that I look like an Asian version of her. LOLOLOLOL idk I don't really see it, but I'm flattered because I really like her. ;u; She's talented and gorgeous, and her being the voice for Rapunzel overjoys me.

B1A4 - Only One

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A pretty old song that I'd always disregarded as just any other song, but I feel like my eyes have been opened to just how beautiful it is when Mimi showed me the translation of the lyrics.
Really, these lyrics are just wonderfully meaningful and what every girl should need to hear.
I've got goosebumps ;; My heart can't handle it.



Cry when you want to cry
Don't purposely hold in your sadness
I'll embrace you so that you can smile again

When you're tired,
I'll lend you my shoulder so that you can rest for a bit

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

Although this world tries to look at you with a small view
I can confidently say you're the only one

Find your broken dreams again. Don't say that you can't
I will help you to make that dream come true

When you feel like you can't breathe,
close your eyes for a bit and think about your future

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

Although this world tries to look at you with a small view
I can confidently say you're the only one

Uh I'll protect you and stay by your side as tears flow
Just rest without any worries in my embrace
The sadness formed in your eyes that won't fall
In your dreams there are rough dark clouds that don't show but
you smile. Don't hold back your hurt anymore
Just throw it high into the sky. I want to go towards the end now
Open up the wings that were folded away. Take my hand

Don't cry again

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

Although hearts that changed coldly may not know you,
who is cooler than anyone, stay by my side. You're the only one

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

UtaProm12 + tofebruary

Sunday, November 11, 2012

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(Written some days ago but I held this one back because I kept piling on blog posts, oops.)
I was totally supposed to blog this right after UtaProm12, but right after that weekend, I went straight into my week and a half of academic hell so here it is now LOL.

YEAH. So October 28th, 2012 was the very first UtaProm or prom for the twitter users of the YouTube-based vocaloid covering/fan community.
It's explained here in Niiro's proposal of the event. xD

Honestly I didn't really care for having a date or not LOL I wanted to participate because it was a fun excuse to dress up and see others in formalwear. :D It was an enjoyable event that united many people; frankly, I don't see why some certain folks made so much drama over it and over little trivial matters. In any case, I believe that it was a great idea and hope to see another similar event next year. ^^

Ummmmmmmm yeah awkward but this was my tweet HAHAHA

"I brought a whole bag of dates to!"

THIS SOUNDS A LITTLE VAIN BUT I HONESTLY DID NOT EXPECT TO GARNER SO MUCH ATTENTION.......... All those retweets, favorites, and even kind replies of flattery from friends and strangers alike, oh my goddddd ;///A///;
(I wouldn't exactly consider myself a "popular" person on twitter at all, and I would've been shocked and flattered to even have--I don't know--2 or 3 retweets/favorites..?
But holy fuck. 9 retweets, 18 favorites, 11 tweets of kindness. My god. What the fuck? People are too nice. I appreciate it deeply but am also taken aback. Let me just go casually hide.)

Thing is that I didn't know if we had any dates so I went digging around the cupboards that day after my parents went out. If anything, I would've tweeted something like, "I couldn't find any dates, so I brought prunes to #UtaProm12!" LOLOLOLOL. Because honestly I think my picture would've been rather boring/not very outstanding without a joke and so I REALLY wanted to incorporate one. ;u; I would've felt awkward/overly self conscious if the focus was entirely on me and the dress. AND THEN I ACTUALLY FOUND A BAG OF DRIED DATES. |'DDDDDDDDDDD;;; Hallelujah! I'm so lame omgah.


After taking this picture, I actually spent the rest of the day studying for my midterms in the upcoming week, but a lot of people wanted to webcam and I also didn't want to sit around in such a formal, uncomfortable dress (which I wore to my actual senior prom). So I changed into a more casual one. :'D

(lol it looks like pajamas in this pic)

This I ordered from tofebruary.com and I was actually planning to blog about my 2-piece tofebruary mini-haul (because I get excited easily over purchases), and this just makes the perfect segway LOL.

I REALLY LIKE TOFEBRUARY. It's the cutest website with the cutest things and really cheap shipping. I don't pay any particular attention to the clothes other than the dresses because they're too cutesy for my style, but the jewelry especially is adorable and captivating. :D T-they seem rather fitting as perfect adorable couple jewelry ;v;)/
Even the receipt that came with the package is adorable as hell and there's a handwritten "Thank you! ღ" in super cute handwriting eeee.

Mostly I enjoy browsing the site because fuwa fuwas but then one day (lol prior to daddy's unemployment) I was like OKAY, I WORK REALLY HARD IN GENERAL, AND I DEDICATE A LOT OF TIME TO MY JOB, AND LIFE SUCKS, AND I'M NOT WORKING FOR THE MONEY, AND I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN I ACTUALLY NEED........... so I should spend it once in a while. Also I'm still going through this phase of being obsessed with dresses.

And I really liked the dress so I bought it on impulse :DDD;;;;;;;;
I'm disappointed though because it looks as though the black halter is attached to the dress but it's actually not. ಠ___ಠ So misleading, wao ide. But s'k 'cause I have a black laced cami.

The other thing I bought was this bracelet BECAUSE I KIND OF WANTED TO TRY HAVING MORE CUTE CHUNKY BRACELETS. 8D


I don't own many accessories because I'm plain to the bone in both personality and appearance, but one of my favorite items--which prompted my desire for more cute chunky bracelets--has got to be this bracelet that I got to pick out for free from spending a certain amount at.. I don't remember what store LOL OTL. Have to admit though that its beauty partially stems from the fact that it was free HAHAHA. /asian
I-i-it's so cute though ;3; ♥


I keep it in my Disney Princess treasure box (shown at this angle BECAUSE ARIEL<3) along with the heart/ribbon bracelet, my Super Junior (BECAUSE I'M A PROUD ELF) wristband, and my friendship bracelet with Yanovi, Myst, and Chiisana which was a gift to all of us from Yanovi. ♥♥♥


[I get really excited over any and everything I buy/own because I'm a loser who's not used to relatively pretty things and rarely orders things online ufufufu.]

A Day of Dates

Saturday, November 10, 2012

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And no, I don't mean the dried dates I brought to prom--I mean actual human beings! Well.. given, they weren't legit romantic dates, but at least let me fantasize, mmkay?

So I met up with Robert/Robby/Rob/Fyre (llfyrell@yt; iFyre@twitter) for the first time yesterday! :D Originally from New York, he came to California to make a presentation in a science convention, and AS AWESOME LUCK WOULD HAVE IT--it happened to take place in my city. In fact, downtown. 4 blocks away from my university HAHAHA.

So I picked him up and oh lordy, worst first impression ever. Right off the bat, we got lost and I made a lot of accidental wrong turns, so I was screaming and cussing and being downright loudly obnoxious LOL. Partially because I guess I already felt really comfortable with Robby<3 and partially because I road rage a lot. 8DD;;

We went up to the favorite ice cream place of #TeamSiliconValley (unofficial name for me, Yanovi, Chiisana, and Myst that I just came up with right now) and being us, we just ate, took pictures, and abused the store's free wifi to go on skype call with Mango LOLL.



I only took 2 videos in total so I just smushed them together and uploaded it as a very informal, random mini vlog.


Then we had a grand time devouring juice of Mango's brethren's remains. OvO

Afterwards, we headed over to the nearby supermarket where Robby was super sweet and paid for all my things :c including calcium gummies (omg whenever I see "Vitafusion," I start thinking, "voca...." and then I want to slap myself).

AND WE FOUND MINI PILLOW PETS :DDDDDDDDD SO WE GOT MATCHING DOLPHINS.

Except we call them "cleavage dolphins" because when they become pets as opposed to pillows, their plush is squished together, and.... I don't really need to explain this, right? LOL.

 <--derp

CLEAVAGE DOLPHINNNNNSSSS
We are so cool ;^;)9

Although we only got to spend about 4 hours together (most of which was spent in my car because we got lost, because traffic, because the ice cream place is far from downtown), it was really fun and shall forever be a precious memory to me. ;u; We were really awkward and dorky though, which I think just makes it all the more endearing hehe.
Thanks, Robby, for letting me kidnap you<3 I can't wait to see him again sometime!

PROOF THAT I ACTUALLY ONCE GOT TO HOLD ROBBY'S HANDS THAT'RE SOFTER THAN A GIRL'S.



Immediately after dropping Robert back off at the Convention Center, I made my way back onto the freeway towards Chiisana's school's direction because I anticipated traffic and would rather not wait until she contacted me about rehearsal being over to set off. :> Was right; she texted me while I was in traffic and on my way. xD

I'm really the luckiest person LOL. Right after finishing a date with Robby: a date with Chiisana. And they're two of my favorite people. 8D But yeah, Chiisana and I'd been wanting to pig out together to relieve stress as we're both incredibly busy. She happened to have a coupon for a local buffet, SO THE FEAST WAS ON. -fistpump-

As expected, our first priority is always raiding and hoarding the sushi counter.

And the sushi was actually pretty good for a buffet! The two of us are pretty picky when it comes to sashimi but it wasn't unsatisfactory at all--in fact, it was generally pretty good, albeit not as fresh and had a bit of a moldy softness to it as opposed to a smooth, melting softness.

At one point, I showed Chiisana my dolphin mini pillow pet, and the following conversation ensued:

C: EHH?! I have this one too!
E: WAIT.. THAT EXACT SAME ONE?
C: Yeah, but like the bigger version...
E: LOLOL IT MUST BE OUR MOTHER! So like, we called them cleavage dolphins because LOOK! When you do this, it looks like it has cleavage. :D
C: ............................I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY QAAAQ MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED...
E: YOUR CHILDREN HAVE CLEAVAGE!!
C: Oh no, that's terrible Q___Q!
E: HAHAHAHAHA what do you mean terrible
C: They grow up too fast..

[10:45:35 PM] Robbeh: Why does she disapprove of our cleavage dolphins //sob
[10:45:44 PM] Eva: our mother is Chiisana now :D
[10:45:50 PM] Eva: ...which is weird as fuck
[10:45:59 PM] Eva: because she's also my sister but also Mimi's child, but Mimi's also my sister

We made ice cream mountains! Well, Chiisana did. Because she's the most pro soft-serve ice cream putting-into-cone-er-person I've ever seen. ovo)b


So what I wore today was the black dress that Ryan and Jay helped pick out for me during #GeminiMeetUp. <3 It's a shame you can't see it from pictures but I think its charm is that the upper portion is sheer material, and the back is a little lower than expected--so while it's an innocent dress, it's also slightly not LOL. The gray blazer worn atop was actually picked out by Chiisana on that same day. ^^ Gemini outfit, YEAAAH!♥



[3:01:50 PM] Chiisana: oh did we tell you about how when we were walking out of the buffet last night
[3:01:58 PM] Chiisana: we saw a car right in front of us with HORRIBLE PARKING
[3:02:07 PM] Chiisana: like 1/3 into the parking spot next to it
[3:02:09 PM] Chiisana: and we were like
[3:02:12 PM] Chiisana: LOLOL WAO DAT PARKING.
[3:02:22 PM] Chiisana: and we were kind of too loud and suddenly there was a guy behind us
[3:02:25 PM] Chiisana: and we were like
[3:02:30 PM] Chiisana: LOLOL-- wait wait is that guy
[3:02:34 PM] Chiisana: is that the guy's car
[3:02:34 PM] Chiisana: omg
[3:02:38 PM] Chiisana: WALK FASTER WALK FASTER
[3:02:40 PM] Chiisana: HAHAHA
[3:02:51 PM] Chiisana: because we're PREEETTY SURE HE HEARD US OTL
[3:03:05 PM] Chiisana: but it was even more hilarious because he literally walked to his car to get something and then left
[3:03:09 PM] Chiisana: and didn't even bother reparking
[3:03:11 PM] Chiisana: so it's like whut lol

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