Hi! Feels like it's been forever since I last blogged. I've been overwhelmed with work which doesn't leave much to blog about... And then I sort of wanted to write something after Sulli's death but didn't think I could write a post worthy of properly honoring her. Bless her beautiful, brave soul and may her next world treat her better. ❤️ I miss her.
So work things.. I got a raise and lots of kind words from my bosses last week! And then just spent a week on an intense, exhausting, albeit inspiring business trip working on another science fair video. Super proud of those kids and I even made friends with this really sweet, smart, charismatic girl who kept calling me beautiful, I'm soft 🥺🥺 At the end, she won a $10,000 prize so during her interview I got to tell her I was proud of her (also told her mom that she has a wonderful daughter!) and she gave me a hug. 💞 This time I not only did all of the editing, I also was the boom operator on some of the interviews AND—this is a first!—I shot a bit of the footage myself!! Just for a few hours when our main camera person had tons of other things to shoot. It was.....a lot. I'm not that happy with the video but I suppose it was the best I could do in those circumstances. Over 4 days, I worked for 49 hours and didn't sleep nearly enough 😭 so as soon as I walked through the front door upon coming home, I immediately laid down on the floor LOL. So...non-functional.....
Here's me after working until 7 AM, sleeping for 4 hours, making client changes and madly editing for another 4 hours to make my final deadline, helping my coworker instead of napping, and immediately having to get ready for the fancy dinner ceremony where my video was played.
On the plane, I watched Toy Story 4 and very unexpectedly found myself strongly relating to Woody... We're both stubbornly loyal, don't like change, and have a complex about needing to feel useful. And we will sacrifice ourselves for the sake of these things. :c That last one especially is a problem, is the cause of workaholic behavior, and can be a confidence-killer for no good reason when you feel like you're not useful enough in a certain aspect—even if you're doing swell in other aspects. Idk, I've been feeling kind of down about myself for some reason and want to remind myself that I am enough, I am worthy, I don't have to be responsible for everything (honestly lately been feeling a little crushed under the pressure of feeling responsible for everything and everyone ^^;;), I don't need to be particularly good at anything, I don't have to keep proving myself to others, I am special and wanted. Dammit.
