So work things.. I got a raise and lots of kind words from my bosses last week! And then just spent a week on an intense, exhausting, albeit inspiring business trip working on another science fair video. Super proud of those kids and I even made friends with this really sweet, smart, charismatic girl who kept calling me beautiful, I'm soft 🥺🥺 At the end, she won a $10,000 prize so during her interview I got to tell her I was proud of her (also told her mom that she has a wonderful daughter!) and she gave me a hug. 💞 This time I not only did all of the editing, I also was the boom operator on some of the interviews AND—this is a first!—I shot a bit of the footage myself!! Just for a few hours when our main camera person had tons of other things to shoot. It was.....a lot. I'm not that happy with the video but I suppose it was the best I could do in those circumstances. Over 4 days, I worked for 49 hours and didn't sleep nearly enough 😭 so as soon as I walked through the front door upon coming home, I immediately laid down on the floor LOL. So...non-functional.....
Here's me after working until 7 AM, sleeping for 4 hours, making client changes and madly editing for another 4 hours to make my final deadline, helping my coworker instead of napping, and immediately having to get ready for the fancy dinner ceremony where my video was played.
On the plane, I watched Toy Story 4 and very unexpectedly found myself strongly relating to Woody... We're both stubbornly loyal, don't like change, and have a complex about needing to feel useful. And we will sacrifice ourselves for the sake of these things. :c That last one especially is a problem, is the cause of workaholic behavior, and can be a confidence-killer for no good reason when you feel like you're not useful enough in a certain aspect—even if you're doing swell in other aspects. Idk, I've been feeling kind of down about myself for some reason and want to remind myself that I am enough, I am worthy, I don't have to be responsible for everything (honestly lately been feeling a little crushed under the pressure of feeling responsible for everything and everyone ^^;;), I don't need to be particularly good at anything, I don't have to keep proving myself to others, I am special and wanted. Dammit.
Don't forget to drink water and recuperate! I know you work hard, so I hope you also put as much effort into taking care of your health and your happiness.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen Toy Story 4, but those characteristics you highlighted in Woody and in yourself? I feel those so hard. It's been immensely difficult these past few years to get to a point where I feel kinda sorta enough for myself. Like you, I also have to remind myself that I'm enough and that I'm worthy, and that takes a certain vulnerability and courage (especially when you kinda just wanna yeet yourself out a window) so I applaud you for that! Keep reminding yourself of those things, and power on, friend. <3
Hugggssssss thanks Sonny ;; Your words really do mean a lot to me and I appreciate that you're able to see that kind of good in me ❤️ I hope that you're also reminding yourself that you're doing great. I personally think you're a cool person and smart and dedicated to your loved ones and hard working and your heart is in the right place, so you're an absolute winner in my eyes ;u;
DeleteIt's so amazing to always hear about how much you do. In the same stroke, you stay humble and highlight others around you too.
ReplyDeleteI think all that you do is something you can definitely be proud of for yourself and that are special and wanted. You always push your limits (maybe break a few) but in some ways that's living life to its fullest too. We all encourage you to rest and recover, but honestly I wish I were as motivated and able to keep going like you too. You inspire me to take time to look at the world, to push through harder times, and to enjoy everything for the ride it is. You're doing great!
Also even while exhausted you're gorgeous like holy geeze *A*
Uuuuu anon you're too kind... I know I already said something similar in reply to another comment, but I genuinely also really appreciate your ability to extract positive qualities and spin things in a way that make me view things in a new, better light. ;^; I never would have thought about pushing your limits being like living life to its fullest. And that's an awesome thought—to think that, oh, maybe I'm handling this life thing better than I thought I was.
DeleteYou are doing great too I'm sure!!! I'm glad that you can relate to some of the things I write about bc it feels like we're going through this journey and learning together TuT