[Nov'13] Kim Sohyun - First Love (Short Cover)

Monday, February 22, 2016

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My cover of "First Love (첫번째 사랑을 시작해요)" by Kim Sohyun (김소현) for the k-drama The Suspicious Housekeeper OST!

I recorded it pretty much as soon as the song came out in November 2013 LOL...... And then it fell to the bottom of my priority list and never got completed so I finally fished it out of nowheresville, threw reverb all over it, and hoisted it to the light of the internet!!!

Kim Sohyun is SO GIRLCRUSH, LIKE.
She was my favorite child actress (maybe even favorite actress overall) when she was 13, and now she's already 16 and beautiful and talented and perf. *__*

Food for Thought: To Be Special Without Specialty

Sunday, February 21, 2016

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Osuu~ ;u; The other day I was reading some old blog posts from 2-3 years ago, and it impelled in me some desire to blog but I'm not sure yet what I'm writing hmm THIS COULD BE A MESS. I think I've been realizing some things lately after spending more time in the scary "adult world" that I kind of wish I knew back then?

In October, we had a "creative meeting" at my video production job and one of my coworkers shared an excerpt from a book in which someone's giving a keynote about her success in her real estate work. The person talked about how she once wasn't doing very well even though she always followed the rules, treated business formally, and basically followed the script she was taught for what to say to clients. She was going to give up and decided to yolo her last job—was a lot more informal, more herself, got along well with her client, and didn't follow any script, and then she made an unexpected sale on the house. Her lesson was that anybody can follow a script or do a passable job. But to be a good salesperson, what you need to "sell" is yourself. What you bring to the table to any job is you—your character—what's unique about you and your experiences. No matter the job or product, people will want to work with you for you.

In October, I'm not sure if I believed it then.
I think now I do?

I've a stressful complex over the fact that I don't think I have any special skills. ;n; I don't regret choosing to be a Radio-TV-Film major but I don't feel like I learned all that much from school that TONS of hobbyists learn on their own or can learn online? I guess I studied video and audio production and I do it for a job, but I don't think I'm nearly as good as the kids that just do it for fun online. It's easy to see especially in this online singing community where I'm surrounded by people who make beautiful awesome videos or whose mixes sound like professionals' and I'm just like, omg I have nothing to show?? My aesthetic sense is crap??? My audio work is ok but not great?? Dude I've had way too many breakdowns over this LOLLL.
"Is there a place for somebody who is just "not bad" in a world that requires only the best? Can you survive as a jack of all trades but master of none when being the best requires specialty?
CAN I EVEN GET A JOB. WILL ANYONE EVEN TAKE ME FOR AN INTERNSHIP."

Mmmh not too much has changed and I still don't think I have special skills, but I think I'm learning that that doesn't mean I'm not special?

Last year I got the first and only internship that I interviewed for, which—YAY I worried for nothing—and I remember another intern was gossiping to me about our classmate who had also interviewed but wasn't accepted. Apparently our supervisor told her that she didn't choose that classmate not necessarily because of his skills, but because he didn't have the personal qualities she was looking for. The internship was for a community media center/cable TV studio and interns would be working with community members and/or sometimes filming outside events. She was looking for interns that seemed like warm, welcoming, smart people that could interact well with the community, since they'd be the frontrunners of the community center.
Back then I didn't think much of it more than "HAH SUX 4 HIM" but now this is totally relevant to my recent revelations!!!

My coworker at my video production job told me the other day about a client who came to us asking for a video but had a small budget and tight deadline, so we had to say no. Later on, the same client came back to us all, "Ayyy I was able to get more money and more time PLS LETS MAKE VIDEO~~" (in more professional terms) so apparently some people will even come up with a bigger budget just to be able to work with our company OAO! Which I think makes sense because really my coworkers are incredibly wonderful, fun, yet professional people! They got so much good feedback from the last business trip we went on and well deserved ;U; We're being invited back next year to do more stuff, and the team that one coworker was leading was like, "We'll come back as long as we're working with ___ again! He's pleasant but he gets things done," which is awwwasdfllksfd ;u; It's pretty inspirational working alongside them. 

This will sound rly weird and conceited but I'm just gonna be totally honest LOL but my bosses really like me?! and I never understood why and couldn't fully believe in it either because tbh I do quite a variety of things for them—production assistant on shoots and trips, audio recording on shoots, video editing, audio editing, admin work like managing our contractor database, office work like filing papers, and even accounting in Quickbooks—but I'm not particularly good at any of these things except maybe the basic bitch admin/officey things. I feel like sometimes I mess up. I have regrets and lots of moments I still feel embarrassed about. I don't think I'm truly qualified to do audio on shoots because I'm always so clueless and I feel terrible towards everyone else on set. Compared to professionals, I'm slow at editing and my eye for aesthetics is just... fuck life o<-< I'm lacking a ton ugh and it too often stresses me out. Honestly sometimes I feel useless and I'm scared I'm letting people down. But a kind person always tells me, "So what if some people are more skilled than you? They can't do exactly what you do as well as you can. There's more to the job than just what they can do, and you're a professional in a professional environment." I don't always listen LOL! I suck. Now I'm trying to see from that perspective. I'm not that talented and yet I still got a job (well, 2 jobs) and they like me enough to want me to increase my hours? ;U;

So I'm realizing that, yeah. More things matter than just pure skills.
Things like being willing to step up to any challenge. Being able to adapt. Communicating well with others. Being open to learning new things. Trying and not giving up unless that's the smarter option. Attention to detail and being organized. Following directions when needed. Being able to make a good impression when you'll be representing the company. Being observant and having a good sense of others' needs. Being supportive and a team player. Recognizing good things and appreciating others. Being able to prioritize. Being positive! But also firm and responsible. Your unique skills and experiences, like for me having accounting/office experience somehow has helped lol. Even being good-humored and good-natured because most people don't want to work in an environment where you don't have any fun! :> Healthy mindsets are always welcomed.

Part of me wishes I could tell these things to the me that didn't think I was worth anything, who thought there'd be no way I'd be accepted by any employers or colleagues, thought I'd be a failure for sure. But honestly even if I heard it back then I know I wouldn't believe it XDD What is the point of this post? I don't know.
IF ANYONE'S READING THIS! Be confident in yourself 8D Stay cool, work hard, and you got this. Nobody can bring exactly what you can bring!

Cool Things Picspam

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

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So, cool things that happened during that Anaheim business trip I went on!!!

Free food!! (We only had a few meals that weren't the provided staff food.. but they were NICE meals and we get to bill them to the client *___*)
Look at thissssss THIS RARE PRIME RIB~ with a scallop and potato dish~ hshshshshs
And escargot with some mushroom and garlic mix. I can't explain the green foam...

Hotel room I had all to myself!! Others called it a cave because it's tucked away in the corner where it gets no sunlight LOL (it was scary)

It me!! I felt so official with my badge! Look I got a free lightsaber!!

Prettiness!

It me again beING EXCITED TO BE DONE WORKING AND GO TO DISNEYYY

You know what's really fucking awesome?
All of Disney's California Adventure was rented out for an evening for the conference's closing party.... SO. FUCKING. AWESOME.

Since there were only 4500 attendees, all of the rides had 5 minute (or shorter) lines! And all food and drinks were free! Servers waited along the street with trays of wine, beer, and soda! You could just go up and order a clam chowder in a sourdough breadbowl without paying! I had two churros and cotton candy! No turkey legs though sadface.

LOOK AT HOW EMPTY HOLLYWOODLAND IS.

Fall Out Boy performed but honestly iwasaHilaryDuffkindofpreteen.......

The park still did their World of Color show, for which we got to be up close, and then there was a surprise addition at the end of it!!! *_______*

ONWARD! GO GO!

Monday, February 8, 2016

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Hii! Long time no write! ^^ I've been busier than ever these past few weeks, and today's my first somewhat chill day so I took a death nap after I got home from work LOL. For a week, I was on a business trip to Anaheim (near LA) as backstage support for keynote presentations at a huge sales conference. ;u; .....And then I found out literally minutes after getting off the returning flight that a client wanted a video I'm editing for work to be done by today, so I was editing at night after my accounting job and throughout the weekend o<-< ..... Death nap was a great nap..

The trip was exhausting and 7 AM starts were brutal, but I think I'd do it again in a heartbeat if nothing changed.

Tbh there was a good amount of cool things that happened, such as going to Disney's California Adventure, which I'll talk about in another post ehe.
And even still, I feel like what made the trip really special was the people that I had the privilege to work with~

My colleagues—our team—were all such incredible, wonderful, genuinely good-natured, and fun people! ;____; When it came to their work, they were professional and responsible while being pleasant. When it was time to play, they had all the fun in the world without letting anyone get in their way. They were shamelessly embarrassing—singing when they wanted to, dancing and skipping when they wanted to, shouting when they wanted to, putting LED ice cubes in their mouths and being amused to hell because they wanted to. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER LAUGHED as much as I did on this trip before. They're all such unreserved hilarious witty people!! With this infectiously amazing, positive energy!

And they're so kind~ ;A; They looked out for others and didn't hesitate at all to give things away or share. Recently, a quality that I've been valuing a lot is being an appreciative person, and it makes me so happy to be surrounded by people who naturally boast this. They're not shy at all about letting people know when they've done a good job or giving compliments as they see fit. They were always thankful for everything done for them and made sure to explicitly and sincerely let everyone else know that they felt blessed to be part of such a great team. I'm so grateful for these things. I couldn't ask for anything more from them D':

This is a little extreme but I genuinely feel like this trip has given me more faith in humanity LOL.......
I'm kind of pessimistic-- but most of the time I'm scowling and frustrated and don't trust people and feel taken advantage of and I hate everything LOLOLOLOL. I can't believe I had the luck to meet and be surrounded by such all-around amazing people?? Was this a fluke??? BUT NOW I KNOW IT CAN HAPPEN.

And amazing people exist apparently.
It really does inspire me to want to become a more positive, expressive, and assertive person, and to show unreserved kindness if I can. It makes me want to pay more attention to the people around me and not be so afraid of challenges or being embarrassed if I can make things more fun ;A;! It makes me want people to remember me with a smiling face and as someone who tries to engage others, and to spread a similar energy to them.

In the past, I would feel like people who put on a positive face all the time and tried too hard were kind of.. fake? But now I think I see they're just selfless people who put aside their own concerns, and their aura of positivity should be welcomed as it helps make experiences for others brighter and better ;U;

I guess I have more defined goals now for 2016~

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