Can I please express my distaste for rebound relationships, like yeah good for you for finding companionship and support but I'm sorry you couldn't see that person's charm until after you were broken, lonely, and vulnerable--
But if those are genuine feelings that can run the rocks through time and turbulence, and this was merely a way for you to realize it, then good for you and good luck.
(this is directed at nobody in particular. mind you it's also 3:38 AM :'D)
Edit;;
Aaaaaaand then this turned into late-night rambling instead LOL.
I don't really know how I feel about relationships, nor have I ever confronted it, and I've been thinking about this lately. (I'm disregarding the fact that even my own mom thinks guys generally don't like me, and that I might be a terrible girlfriend anyway.) Sometimes I wish I could be in one but sometimes I am entirely against being in a relationship at this time. But I'm thinking, like.. if--and this is a really strong if--I were asked out in this sphere of time, would I say yes? Because my brain's telling me I wouldn't. But what if I really liked this person? But I've also become incapable of romantic affection so I don't ever feel like.. I like anybody in that way, or would like someone enough to feel like it's okay to enter a relationship. But I feel like most people enter relationships anyway whether or not their feelings are wishy-washy, which just feeds how much I think most relationships are superficial and flimsy. And most turn out to be short-lived. Is it worth it? When it's so short and shallow? Is it worth that initial spark of happiness that too often blurs and bleeds into stubborn tolerance or bland nothingness? Not to mention, potential consequences in friendships or bonds with surrounding people perhaps being disturbed. But I guess some people look for happiness in the present, whether it sustains itself in the long-run or not, and I'm one of those people (along with my best friend, with whom I've a mutual understanding on too many topics) who approach this thing called 'love' very cautiously and with an attitude of paranoid rejection. And we think about things like, how much do we even know each other? How would we treat each other? Would we have a future together--is there even any future in the grasp of our capability? Can we imagine ourselves married? I used to sometimes question whether or not I had a heart, and now I know I do, but it's just encased in ice so I guess I'm waiting for somebody with a grade-A flamethrower.
This cloud of word vomit had no point or conclusion and I just had an ice cream sandwich despite it just now turning 4:00 AM.
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don't think too hard about it :] I think that when you find that person meant for you...this won't even cross your mind. It'll just be natural * w* You'll know it's right because you won't even have to try. It will just be perfect on its own C: I get why people think about these things, but what I've learned is~ why bother? the more you bother, the more you might force something that's not your "meant to be" and...the more you kind of just waste your time and energy thinking about it~ Just enjoy your day to day life! True love will happen one day whether you like it or not. You just gotta have patience o u o <3 it's well worth it, I promise~
ReplyDeletederp, over and out
hey there, Eva~ those thoughts you've posted could have very easily been my own. I also have friends in relationships (who doesn't?) and I never really thought much about them before because, as you said, they are short-lived, and most of the time, seem a tad shallow and pointless. Recently, one of my good friends went into a relationship and now I just feel completely awkward whenever I'm around her, because our environment and situations have changed. Either way, I understand what you're going through, but don't lose hope of finding your someone; I'm sure they'll come when the time is right. Cheers~ [sonnyxkun]
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