Two things today that I'm really relieved about:
One being my geology midterm. I was feeling so good on the day that I took it because I found out that I got 114% on my anthropology midterm, and then ಠ___ಠ fucking bitch ass test was NOTHINGGGGG like what we were asked to study. It stomped on my ego, ruined my day, and I beat myself up really hard over it--especially after later going over my notes and seeing that I might have misunderstood a concept. I THOUGHT I WOULD GET A C OR LOWER....... I thought I stood no chance of being able to earn an A in the class overall QAQ
Turns out I got 98% on it. /o/ I didn't do too well, but the rest of the class did much worse.
Last Wednesday, I didn't go to school because.. I simply couldn't. I didn't intend to regret it and I still don't regret it because that was exactly what I needed to rejuvenate my body and my mentality. :/ It was only after then that I was able to smile again and find motivation to go on, and it was nice doing something selfish and swallowing the notion that I don't always have to be responsible. (Not to say that responsibilities are bad. Just that I have a lot of them and I'm collapsing under the weight.)
Been busy and I had an anthropology paper due today so I haven't been very concerned about geology. Monday was Veteran's Day, and thus no school, so I haven't been very connected or up to date at all.
This morning as I was sitting in my car before class (early as usual because parking is stressful), I was looking through my planner.
"Wednesday, November 14
film - read Sturges p. 185-186
step - bring folder
anth - writing assignment 2 due
geol - term paper due"
...........TERM PAPER. ಠ___ಠ TERM. PAPER. ಠ__ಠ TERM. FUCKING. PAPER. WHAT TERM PAPER
Checked the rubric on which it was written several times that the term paper was due on 11/14. Freaked out. Then remembered that I saw written for another class, "All writing assignments must be completed to pass the course." And this is where I had a panic attack and started hyperventilating in my car.
Which was followed by me concocting potential scenarios in my head.
Scenario #1
Me: "Is it possible at all for you to allow a late submission?"
Professor: "I'm making no exceptions. I'm sorry but you're just not going to pass the class."
Me: -slowly bursts into tears-
Scenario #2
Professor: "Alright, but only this once."
Me: "Up until when will you take it and what is your policy on point reduction for late work? ;w; I'd like to know so I can figure out if I should pull an all-nighter tonight..."
(which would suck because I got home from evening class at 9 PM today, then 9-hour work day tomorrow and my boss apparently has a LOTTTTTTT waiting just for me, and I have an assignment due Friday)
Mostly I just prayed that the teacher moved the due date forward--as she's been doing a lot partially because she's so unorganized.
RUSHED TO CLASS, WENT ON WIFI, FOUND OUT THE PAPER WAS MOVED TO BE DUE NEXT WEEK. PHEEEWWWWWW OMG I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA EITHER FAIL THE CLASS OR DIE TONIGHT LIKE SRSLY I WANTED TO CRY.
And I certainly CANNOT fail a class dudeeee I have way too much pride as a valedictorian and that is my only and greatest accomplishment, which I will forevermore rub in the faces of others because I damn right deserve to after how hard I worked for it. I know that grades in university don't really matter and all that anybody cares about is acquiring a diploma BUT GRADES ARE ALL I'M GOOD AT. Q__Q I CAN'T LOSE THAT. I really should have been responsible in being on track with everything though.
ANYWAY I LEARNED MY LESSON and I'm just really glad Lady Luck got me out of this one. Q__Q;;;
I WOULD label this post as another Late Night Rambling one but it's only 10:30 although I'M ACTUALLY REALLY SLEEPY AND READY TO COLLAPSE but there's also that assignment due Friday hmmmm but I also don't have the willpower to efficiently work on it but I also don't want to fuck myself over for tomorrow but I also can't keep my eyes open HMMMMM. I'm tired where is the quit button
I feel bad that lately my posts have all been just rant'y and kind of dry so I'm going to put a picture. Here, have something that I did when I was in 2nd grade
EVIDENTLY, I NEVER CHANGE.
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