2021 New Year's Resolutions

At the start of 2020, for some possibly prophetic reason I didn't do my usual 100 resolutions because I didn't feel ready to set new goals for myself; though I wrote out 40 as "mid-year resolutions" in July!

It feels all too soon to have a whole new, long list of [silly to serious] ambitions but I'm determined to do this right now. 💦

I'm sure we've all already heard all the reasons last year was rough for everyone, but I think on top of everything there's been this unspoken layer of restraint when it comes to speaking honestly about or processing our mental health and personal progress outside of productivity? There certainly have been times when I was experiencing darkness but didn't feel that I ought to talk about it especially publicly, or burden others when they had plenty of 2020 darkness to deal with already, or even write it out it in my private diary as an outlet—and I try to be fairly expressive about these topics so I can't even imagine the extent that others have suppressed themselves. ;; "People are drawn to shiny, nice things that help them forget about their troubles so they won't like me if I talk about negative subjects" is a thought that I imagine has probably crossed many people's minds. I've seen so many people act as strong as they can while silently burning themselves out emotionally.

And I'll also confess this from my perspective as a youtaite while watching the vtuber migration through the year—seeing so many of my peers being celebrated for being a character has made me both worry about their fatigue while having to suppress the flawed sides to their humanity, and also wonder if I ought to do the same. But I've kinda realized that that's not me. I've publicly documented all my shortcomings since I was a child hahaha.

So with this list I hope to be a bit more open than I was in 2020 and signify that I'm gonna do my best to take better care of myself, be introspective, and try to healthily progress towards improving my wellbeing and whatever little goals I have! ;^;)9 More than anything, I want to focus on breaking some stubborn mental habits and reprogram my outlook to be less grim & more forgiving towards myself!

~✨~✨~

1. Starting with the bare minimum... let's not contract COVID.....
   
   
2. Survive!!!!
   (((ok now everything after this is optional--)))
   
   
3. Just kidding, not so optional: remember to love myself. ♥
   
   
4. At the end of 2021, I hope to be able to say that I spent my days happier on average than in 2020!
   
   
5. Be proud of myself regardless of linearity of progress.
   
   
6. Be proud of my work regardless of how it reaches my expectations.
   
   
7. Try to learn to separate "progress" from my "worthiness of existence" lolol
   
   
8. Breathe more. like. mentally.
   Like try to just exist sometimes without feeling rushed to get something done.
   
   
9. Learn to reconcile with the fact that I don't need to have a purpose to live a fulfilling life. (Kinda a biggie so I'm not optimistic I can do this in one year but if I can just believe it a little bit more!!)
   
   
10. Become more of the kind of person I want to be.
    
    
11. Allow myself to do non-productive recreational things without guilt!! Relax! Have fun! Recharge!
    
    
12. Relax and recharge A LOT. 😤
    
    
13. Keenly recognize when certain negative thoughts are not my own.
    
    
14. Focus on the half-fullness of the glass rather than the half-emptiness—like yeah oops it's 4 AM but writing this post is so good for my soul!
    
    
15. I will not let my work-life balance be so shit anymore.
    
    
16. ;;; No burnout in 2021 please! Nope!!
    
    
17. Be more firm in my boundaries of what I can/can't do without expending my health.
    
    
18. Actually take some days off work this year,,,
    
    
19. Continually seek out ways to help make the world a better, safer, more mindful place!
    
    
20. ^ Hopefully be more proactive in these efforts too rather than always reactive!
    
    
21. Keep going towards learning to be unapologetically 'myself.'
    I made huge leaps on this in 2020 💓
    
    
22. Share more about my interests with people who aren't internet friends aaah scary;;
    
    
23. Care less about the opinions of others :>
    
    
24. Train myself to take things less personally in general.
    
    
25. Find that balance of caring for our parakeets without becoming unreasonably consumed with stress at any sign of unideal condition or unhappiness ;; Mm a lot of it is working through the trauma of suddenly losing our previous parakeets so it'll take some time probably...
    
    
26. GOD I HOpE by the end of this year these birds will gladly hop on my finger and let me pet them 😭 they don't trust humans at all so far.
    
    
27. Felt some friendships drift last year. As much as I healthily can, I'd like to make more efforts to reach out to friends and become something of an energizer for my friend circles.
    
    
28. Do better at showing my support to people in the youtaite commu and what they create!
    
    
29. Leave many comments on others' covers!
    
    
30. I'm going to keep on unabashedly creating the things I want to create. :>
    
    
31. Okay... I don't know if within 2021 I'll be able to upload my K/DA POP/STARS cover that I keep saying I fully intend to do....... But at least let's like... maybe work on it..... u kno
    
    
32. But also forgive myself for taking so long to get any projects done. Doing my best!
    
    
33. Get into the rhythm of regularly practicing dancing at home!
    
    
34. Ideally work some exercise into my daily routine and motivate myself enough to stick to it.
    
    
35. Hopefully share at least 1-2 dance covers, even if short snippets!
    
    
36. I kind of...... would like....... to try learning how to do digital art. In the first half of 2020, I tried to get back into traditional drawing again (which I basically stopped in high school) and I was pretty happy when I did it.
    
    
37. ^ If the above happens, I'm hoping I can hold myself to the reminder that all newbies start out struggling and lost; and to not feel too garbage about how shitty my art will inevitably be at first. T__T
    
    
38. This one's just a freebie but I'm going to keep on singing and rapping this year!!
    
    
39. Will I finally be able to overcome the hurdle of recording at times when my parents can hear me? 😭 I've been recording for over a decade and haven't been able to let go of this self consciousness but I really ought to.
    
    
40. Haha....... what is singing technique, maybe I'll try to learn some?? Can I sing with better support maybe????
    
    
41. Develop a rap style that I feel more comfortable with and doesn't harm my throat ;v;
    
    
42. Is it too late for me to expand my vocal range lol
    
    
43. Puts my foot down GEMINI WILL HAVE AT LEAST ONE UPLOAD IN 2021. SOMETHING. I HOPE. IT'S OUR 10TH YEAR ANNIVERSARYYY
    
    
44. If I'm mixing said Gemini projects, literally all I ask is to not lose my sanity over them thanks!
    
    
45. DECLARING THIS: I will not be pulling any all-nighters in 2021 thanks!!
    
    
46. If possible I want to upgrade my animation/motion graphics skills a little bit! Even if not on a technical level then I want to improve at making things look visually nice.
    
    
47. Improve at design/composition/aesthetics in general.
    
    
48. But also try not to see it as a failure if I don't improve as much as I wish I can. Overall let's just not be disappointed please if I don't make progress on these skill-based goals; they're just "nice to have" 😭
    
    
49. Would like to be more comfortable with pronouncing Japanese!
    
    
50. Pretty proud that I've made a significant shift into speaking almost entirely Cantonese with my parents and I hope I can improve even more at it.
    
    
51. All I ask is to not get worse at Korean...
    
    
52. If I sing anything in Mandarin this year then I will resolve to do better pronouncing it than I did in Show Yourself.....
    
    
53. There are some videos that I want to make that would require voiceover—hopefully I'll be able to squeeze those in this year!—and I'd like to become more comfortable with my speaking voice and improve my enunciation if possible.
    
    
54. I'm starting to enjoy filming spontaneous short "vlog" vids again so why not do it if I enjoy it!
    
    
55. One thing I'M REALLY DELIGHTED about is that in 2020 I started listening to audiobooks and reading! I'm obsessed with Jane Austen's books LOL and I want to keep this up and read more of them!! Or even if I end up just rereading my two favorite novels over and over and over, as long as I'm still reading something I'll be happy.
    
    
56. A mental habit I want to overcome is my inability to imagine happiness beyond the horizon. My dread will be like, "I don't know what can possibly make me happy after I finish this book/show/game/happy moment/chapter in my life, so I'm terrified of it ending." It's a real thing that eats at me and makes me drag things on lolol. I've been slowly trying to teach myself that no....... I can always find more things in life to enjoy... And I can just reread the book and rewatch the show if I'm not ready to let go of it....
    
    (i'm not super into astrology but is this a taurus thing bc it sounds like a taurus thing tbh)
    
    
57. Hoping I can spend the year feeling in tune with myself.
    
    
58. Blog as much as my heart desires 💓
    
    
59. I've honestly given up on writing; but if I do write anything then I hope I post it regardless of satisfactory of state rather than it sitting in my drafts until the end of time.
    
    
60. Make it a habit to take breaks—especially for my eyes—regularly.
    
    
61. Relax and listen to audiobooks regularly!
    
    
62. Get into the habit of stretching—I basically haven't done it at all for like 3 months lmao.
    
    
63. In the past month I finally got rid of the musty old desk in my room and replaced it with a much better setup! Hopefully this year I can enact more improvements in my room that I've been wanting to do for a long time.
    
    
64. Mooching off the last point—and I swear I've had this on my resolutions for years and still haven't done it—but if I could figure out a better display solution for my kpop albums djksfjkj the mountain /grows/
    
    
65. Will endeavor to eat fruit at least once a day!
    
    
66. Remember to take vitamins daily.
    
    
67. Something I've worked on before but lost all progress in: be cognizant of my facial muscles and remember to relax them.
    
    
68. Be constantly mindful of acid reflux symptoms and any impending regressions.
    
    
69. Nice.
    ((I'm going to embrace the state of my maturity even as I approach 28 this year, it's okay, there is no rush~))
    
    
70. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I STILL HAVE 30 MORE TO GO... ok how about: Continue watching anime regularly!
    
    
71. No more working through meals—watch shows whenever I eat!
    
    
72. Normalize spending weekend time tidying up my room.
    
    
73. Convert 2 AM from an "early bedtime" to a "late bedtime" .......
    
    
74. And consequently, wake up earlier!!!
    
    
75. And consequently from that, eat my meals at normal times again!!
    
    
76. Learn more about cooking.
    
    
77. Learn more about baking. I bought chocolate chips to try baking cookies back in April and still haven't done it yet 😭
    
    
78. In the earlier half of last year I made a handful of cursed edible creations and completely lost steam—would like to have fun doing that sort of thing again.
    
    
79. !! I just caught myself thinking, "This person did all these things today; what have I done today..." and remembered there was no point in comparing myself to them—YATTAAAA MOre oF THAT!
    
    
80. Be more proactive with proper recycling!
    
    
81. Not sure when (might wait for some projects to release first) but I hope sometime this year I'll be making a reel that summarizes the stuff I do!
    
    
82. Don't give way to expending more emotional energy than I have—but whenever I do have the capacity I want to do as much as I can for others.
    
    
83. S-Spend less time on Twitter LOL.
    
    
84. Lessen my dopamine(?) dependency(??)
    
    
85. I should probably watch my propensity to buy treats out of convenience (i.e. making a boba stop if I go out for an errand) when they're not necessarily good for me or craved...
    
    
86. But when I DO crave things, should heartily indulge myself without hesitation 💪!!
    
    
87. Idk how to motivate myself to do abs exercises without an upcoming convention to cosplay at. Will I work on my abs this year idk
    
    
88. Continued efforts at redistributing my income to those who are in need so long as I can simply live comfortably.
    
    
89. Make steps towards conquering my fears.
    
    
90. AAAAH 10 MORE I'M SO CLOSE.
    Be more open with my humor :>
    
    
91. Find ways to cheer myself up!
    
    
92. Be more thankful every day.
    
    
93. Improve my crappy posture.
    
    
94. Take more walks!
    
    
95. I will go out of my way to tell many people many nice things about them. o^o)9
    
    
96. Fight for everything I believe in.
    
    
97. Be more confident in myself!
    
    
98. Support the idols and musicians that I love!
    
    
99. Stand proudly as myself, as a youtaite, as a hobbyist youtuber, as a budding professional in video production, as a human, as everything that I am. :>
    
    
100. w o r l d d o m i n a t i o n
     FFFFFFFF YES I MADE IT TO THE END.

~✨~✨~

Eh I usually always upload one selfie to sum up the past year but something that personally made 2020 special to me was that I grew more comfortable with presenting myself in different styles—so here are two, both in black/dark grey but contrasting vibes~

Let's do our best this year!!! As always there's no pressure to leave a comment or anything of the sort but if anybody would want to share their own resolutions with me, I would happily hear them out 💖