Starlit

Helloo, here I am, trying to make good on that goal to blog at least once a week...

The newest of the new is that I just finished watching the anime Revue Starlight, like, 15 minutes ago. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS ANIME....WHAT.. It's got a uniquely cool concept, was pretty entertaining, definitely kept me guessing, amazing visuals, but...... major storytelling issues. I'd recommend checking out at least an episode or two for the surprises if you're unfamiliar with the show, but not sure I'd endorse the whole series tbh.

One motif that this show slams in your face repeatedly is "losing your shine" and somehow it's something I relate to right now? In the show's context, it's about musical theatre girls losing sight of why they perform, no longer able to enjoy it, no longer able to mount the stage with admirable, passionate brilliance. The more they discussed it, the more I was reminded of my burnout right now ;;.... After my last post, I took it easy a lot more—I got deep into watching Marvel analysis videos and rewatching the movies now equipped with more knowledge of what's going on THE MCU IS SO MAGNIFICENTLY RICH—and then I started getting very busy. I thought I was recovering from the burnout, but I was wrong. I'm tired and it's only going to get busier for me soon, what with an upcoming 10 PM shoot (it's a volunteer project so I still have work that day orz) and one of those crazy edit-all-day-all-night business trips. It tires me out just thinking about what the next two weeks will be like ;;; I'm all doom and gloom and no shine.

I am very fortunate that I was able to forge a career path out of the few interests that I had. There's nothing that I regret about turning my hobby into my job and I definitely don't want to take that for granted! But the flip side of that coin is that when I overdo it with the hobbies, they don't feel like hobbies anymore.... There's definitely lots that I love about video production, but right now I temporarily don't have the energy to feel that spark. ;n; One of my favorite things that I've done is when I yolo drove to the beach an hour away after class one day in 2015, filmed myself lipsyncing Lovelyz' "For You" for my cover, and filmed some bottles in the sand against the sunset. I can pick out lots of issues now with the camerawork and editing—but that is such a beautifully cherished memory and project. I LOVE that I actually did that! ;u; And that's not to say that I don't love the projects I've been working on, but it's rather that having to spend hours upon hours upon hours in Adobe Premiere makes me not really look forward to spending more hours in it. Which I have to for my job, at which I've been really low energy and I'm just doing my best to keep up good work despite that. Currently I can't fantasize about doing cool projects in the future. I wouldn't have that same drive to execute a passion project the way I did for "For You." It's actually pretty cool the projects that I've been able to work on and there are lots of great opportunities and causes; I just need a little time to recuperate so that I can leave this cycle of spending my days tired out from my nights and my nights tired out from my days.