Goo

Probably not very long ago, I was afraid of talking to service workers—not sure if the fear applied specifically to them, or if it was because the only situations that forced me to talk to strangers involved them. I remember often being purposely silent so that Chiisana would take charge of putting our orders in to the waiter/waitress, because I just really couldn't talk to them. During the road trip of what I believe to be my second AX, I cried at an In-N-Out because they forgot my order and I was overwhelmed by stress in between.. being too scared to talk to the workers lol.... and feeling bad because my friends were all already finishing up their food. It was pretty fucking bad. So I'm pretty proud when I'm able to take some steps forward, like when I had volunteered for the film festival which forced me to talk to hundreds of strangers and I was anxious af but did great!

Now I think I generaaallyyy interact with strangers pretty effortlessly and well, which is awesome ;^;)9 (and also very necessary because now I meet new people on video shoots and business trips and even went to a freelancers meet-up... I just wish I had this skill when I was in school and then I would've maybe made friends better.)

One of my goals lately has been to take it a step further and try to say nice things to strangers—and especially to service workers because their jobs are tough and customers can be horrible (not that I can relate since I went straight to desk jobs but that's more reason for me to at least be an appreciative customer).
Too many times I regret not saying anything, when—I'm realizing now—I don't have much to lose? Sometimes a few kind words go a long way. Sometimes people feel better about what they're doing knowing that others are grateful for it. Sometimes validations might help a girl overcome some insecurities, so might as well compliment them.

I think I'm doing rather decently at this goal so far. But the best is when you feel like aaaaa you were able to make someone's day SERIOUSLY THIS MAKES EVERYTHING SO WORTH IT.

It's spring break for the college kids so I've been seeing Chiisana and friends a lot~ A few hours ago, she and I went to a milk tea/dessert place and it was packed even for a Wednesday night. I might be wrong since it was so crowded, but I only noticed one guy manning the storefront. As far as I could tell, he acted as waiter and busboy for all the tables.. He was super nice, smiling in between the franticness and telling us several times, "Thank you for being so patient!" And he seemed like a genuinely hard worker that actually cared about customers! Even though he was running around everywhere taking orders and cleaning up tables—and obviously kind of stressed out?—he still made sure to check up on how customers were doing. I feel like I'm really spoiled because I can't imagine doing that kind of job and how overwhelmed I would be.....

Anyway, we left him a big tip, which I handed to him with a bright smile and, "This is for you! Thank you so much for working so hard!" AND HE BROKE OUT INTO THIS SHOCKED TURNED RELIEVED SMILE and it felt like his tensed up body momentarily melted into goo. ;U; Seriously such an awesome moment!!! Until we left, he thanked us a handful of times with a great big smile.

I don't know if this is selfish to think? LOL I hope we made his night better.. I think we did at least a little! And I'm so happy with myself that I'm able to do this now. QUQ)9
Everything about this just makes me rly happy HAHAHAHA I'm so proud!!

But now this combination of being gleeful and having had milk tea at night makes me not want to go to bed even though it's 2 AM and I have work in the morning lol I'm gonna hate everything tomorrow man daytime is miserable