Looking back, this hobby gets really time-consuming and it's frustrating, but definitely rewarding in its own ways. Somehow I feel like I've found and lost myself many times over the years because of singing.
In middle school, I likely permanently ruined my own throat because I wanted to take advantage of every breathing second that I had after school and before my mom came home from work—which meant forcing myself to keep singing even when it hurt. Sometimes I purposely sang with my throat in pain because it dulled my very obnoxious vocal tone.. It was an exciting new hobby and it was thrilling to collaborate with other coverists and be a part of something. I could never say no, and god I had so many lines to do LOL. But probably because of that, I'm still dealing with throat issues today. Right now I'm going through a decent phase, but sometimes it just hurts to use my voice, and that was a pretty big source of depression for me especially early in college. There was nothing I was passionate about, but I knew at least that I loved to sing and rap—it was the only thing that made me happy and through which I had an expressive/emotional outlet—but it physically pained me to do. And my throat doctor didn't even know what to do with me. But I'm a bit better now ^^ and I learned a huge lesson in self control haha.
Then there was my phase in high school during which I was super obsessed with trying to cover k-pop songs as soon as they were released, so that I could "ride the wave" of attention. I ended up spending a lot of time covering songs that I didn't actually like that much, just for what I perceived to be "popularity." A few of them I kind of regret; they were so half assed LOL. I wouldn't do it again. :'D It's still a struggle of balance finding something that I think others might enjoy and that I would enjoy and be able to put my heart into producing.
And of course feeling shut down and built up again and again; it's been a rollercoaster!! I'm not someone who was born with inherent talent, and it's so easy to compare yourself to others and feel like you can't even do anything. Honestly, I can barely sing at karaoke. Even to as recent as Tokohana for LSO's final round in September, I was actually extremely emotionally distraught when trying to record lines and I wished my vocal tone were better, struggled a shit ton with higher notes, struggled to hold notes out, couldn't live up to the other members' awesome. (rly if you haven't heard it yet, please do bc Gemini sounds amazing<3) But I figured out a long time ago, that if I couldn't be the master at anything, I needed to put in that much more effort to strive to be a jack of all trades ;v; That's how I ended up dabbling in all these different languages, in rapping, in "animating," in mixing and mastering, even tried to dance.
I consider animating a lost battle for me. At first in the Dark Ages, I was so proud that with my AMV-making experience, I was able to put names for when people sang in groupdubs LOL! And then I assumed the role of video-maker for Gemini since I was most interested in Sony Vegas. But then when everyone else was making magic in After Effects and I was still in Sony Vegas with my very (still) brokenly horrible sense of aesthetic, I couldn't keep up and decided to focus on mixing. Now I'm slowly picking up bits and pieces of AE because of work, but I suck LOL.
I consider animating a lost battle for me. At first in the Dark Ages, I was so proud that with my AMV-making experience, I was able to put names for when people sang in groupdubs LOL! And then I assumed the role of video-maker for Gemini since I was most interested in Sony Vegas. But then when everyone else was making magic in After Effects and I was still in Sony Vegas with my very (still) brokenly horrible sense of aesthetic, I couldn't keep up and decided to focus on mixing. Now I'm slowly picking up bits and pieces of AE because of work, but I suck LOL.
And mixing..... That's still very much a work in progress. I first started out trying to "mix" in Windows Movie Maker lmao, and I still remember DUBattle Royale in 2011 when the judges told us to EQ, and I was like, "What's that?" LOL I really fell behind my peers in learning to EQ and master.. Although I've improved a lot in mixing (especially during LSO), I end up feeling ashamed and as though I know nothing compared to other mixers. LSO was really a huge challenge; I was so proud of myself at first and then I kept realizing all of these mixing flaws I caused and got mad at myself tbh. But that's all the more reason for me to learn more and prove myself, so my next challenge will be OTO&ME CB! Q^Q)9 I'll.. try my best and hopefully can make something nice for us to all look back on!
Because of this hobby, I found a career path for myself. I totally went through a phase in high school when I dreamed of becoming a Hello!Project idol and then a K-pop idol LOLLLL. It was always obvious that I'd never be able to. I knew I loved singing, and it was depressing that I had waaay too many limitations to do that, but I had enough interest in mixing and video editing that I decided to enter university as a Radio-TV-Film major. I still always felt like I had no talent, but eventually it ended up working out great! 8D Because now I primarily do video and audio editing at my awesome grown-up full time job; otherwise working on sets and often as the audio recordist. It's great.
Because of this hobby, I found a career path for myself. I totally went through a phase in high school when I dreamed of becoming a Hello!Project idol and then a K-pop idol LOLLLL. It was always obvious that I'd never be able to. I knew I loved singing, and it was depressing that I had waaay too many limitations to do that, but I had enough interest in mixing and video editing that I decided to enter university as a Radio-TV-Film major. I still always felt like I had no talent, but eventually it ended up working out great! 8D Because now I primarily do video and audio editing at my awesome grown-up full time job; otherwise working on sets and often as the audio recordist. It's great.
Most importantly!!!!!! I'm grateful for how many people I've met and how many friends I've made in online covering communities, as well as all the support I've received. Q___Q I met my best friend Chiisana in 2007 because we both covered overlapping anime songs and made AMVs—turned out we lived in neighboring cities and obviously both didn't care enough about stranger danger even though she was literally 11 years old LOL!! Then I got to meet a lot of nice people through singing Mermaid Melody and Hello!Project. AND THEN K-POP.... I got a message in 2010 from some girl named Mimi who did some k-pop duets with a guy named Ryan. And you see, kids, when coverists really love and accept each other, sometimes they do things all night (talked in chat) and give birth to baby groups like Gemini. And sometimes, this group becomes family as important to you as blood. QAQ I'm so lucky that we still sing together and even came back as a full group for a chorus battle this year, five years after our last battle!!! <3
And joining the vocaloid/youtaite and twitter community in 2012 really changed my life. I had never felt so immersed in people that were similar to me and accepted me. A lot of them were so cool and social or really talented or popular, but they still wanted to be friends with me?? I felt for the first time that I could kind of talk to people and socialize, and it made me more confident and outgoing in my college classes. ^^ Since then, most of my friends that I hang out with IRL have been people that I met in the youtaite community—bless that there are so many of them in Norcal. :'D It's been a bumpy ride, but some of these people will be lifelong friends I think.
I typed for too long, sorry. Here is my celebratory(?) 2006-2016 vocal evolution reel!! I hope I can improve much, much more and keep singing with cool people in the future~ Thank you!
VERY SORRY FOR MY UGLY HANDWRITING AND HUMOR AND THE UGLY IN GENERAL TBH....
Hi everyone!!
This is a very special video to me because 10 years ago—when I was 13 years old—I uploaded my first cover on youtube. And somehow, 10 years later, this is still my hobby. I'm still here trying to learn to sing and rap and mix and slaughter languages, and it's still fun.
I forget to express it, but I'm really grateful to everyone who's ever supported me along the way! ;_; Thank you for encouraging me and teaching me!! ♥♥♥
To commemorate, here is my 2006-2016 vocal evolution reel archive compilation...video thing. An update to my last reel which was 5 years ago! https://youtu.be/9sGI7ZSdXEo
(And an excuse to bring to light a lot of covers that were never finished tbh.)
Please watch your ears—it will be painful, sorry. :'D
Thank you for watching!!!
If you'd like to hear the full version of something that's not on my channel, you might find it on
my collab playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA5E87AF81CFCA7C6
soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/waterpixieva
box of extras: https://app.box.com/s/e3hdl6o7hhhneyjd2u7i
Or just request ^^
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