Screenwriting

I'm currently taking a screenwriting class and just did some reading from the course reader written by my professor. A few parts really stuck out to me, which I wanted to share. (For some reason, reading about writing reminds me of Lee a lot LOL. Also luckily, this is rather breezy reading ;v; But regardless of method, he did open my eyes to a few things.)

• "There's a difference between "becoming a screenwriter" and "writing screenplays." The former is an identity, which one expects to assume like a suit of armor that protects the wearer from all future strife and unhappiness. It doesn't exist. If it did, there wouldn't be so many miserable professionals.
  Happiness is found in doing things you love to do. ... Make it your goal "to write," not "to be a writer.""
  
  
• "Imagine enjoying writing so much that the writing is its own reward. That can be yours if you see the time you spend writing as a gift you give to yourself and you don't think about the outcome."
  
  
• "MYTH: High standards make writing great.
  "High standards" is usually code for "perfectionism," and perfectionism will keep you from writing at all. Why even begin a script that "has" to be "perfect" when we all know perfection is unattainable? ... Who could write with an inner voice screaming in one's inner ear, "Is it good enough? Is it good enough!!??" ... Forget good or bad, and choose instead to give yourself the gift of spending time creatively without worrying about the outcome."
  
  
• "Any normal person can write a screenplay. ... If people had to be born knowing how to write then babies would write brilliantly. Trust me, I've read scripts by babies; they're a train wreck. Then the babies ask for feedback but you can't say anything because they're babies and they cry."

Okay, well, I included the last one just because I laughed.

But the other points I think apply really well even to things outside of screenwriting. To sum it up: shit's all about the journey and the enjoyability of the activity, yo.

Well back to screenwriting.

After this reading, I feel a bit more confident about having to write an original script as the bulk of the class. But with every page, I got more and more worried.

I'm in no way a screenwriter. Screenwriting is all about the external, the character conflicts, the action, and the specific, achievable, concrete goals that an audience can watch the hero attain (or attempt to attain).

If I had any interest in writing fiction, I'd be a novelist. I want to explore and analyze inner conflict and the cause of and changing in mindset or personality. I want to see a character lost within him or herself. I enjoy stream of consciousness. I'm self-absorbed. I overthink. I hate outward conflict and drama. I don't enjoy the superficial. I have no goals. I don't particularly dream of anything other than my recently-realized desire to someday feel successful, somehow in some way. I don't know how I'm going to get there.

Actually I wrote this just two days ago:
"But rather than expressing with narrative, my way of literary expression as an outlet is to just lay my thoughts and feelings bare."
And now it's like, well. shit. =A=

I'm starting to brainstorm on what I might be able to write about. Of course, as a start, it makes sense to use one's own experience as a foundation or inspiration. But because I as a person cannot set goals, it reflects onto any possible protagonists that come to mind right now. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. Here goes.

• a bullied girl
• a bullied girl who changes her personality from meek to aggressive to overcome the inferiority imposed upon her? and somehow I guess this messes shit up and it turns out that the true "monster" is her own fear? but in the end this is about her internal struggle and finding herself sigh
• I could write forever about the theme that I keep bringing up in relation to myself about being icy and having a heart encased in ice. I'd love to write a cynical, jaded protagonist. but this ISN'T ACTION OR EXTERNAL CONFLICT
• hm. Cynical, jaded protagonist. How do I do that without being passive? What would this person WANT?
• Cynical, jaded protagonist meets... easygoing and extroverted love interest?! I would get so pissed off writing this. Fuck that fucking shit.
• Something related to children
• A small, typically insignificant event which becomes compelling because the audience understands why the protagonist cares so much about it. How 2 do dat.
• I thought of... having the other characters turn out to be the voices in the head of the protagonist? So basically externalizing internal thought. But mgghhhh there are some sirens going off telling me this isn't a good idea to go with.
• a bullied girl who wants to share erasers with the cute boy in class WOW FUCK THAT
• I like ice cream
• Joining a contest? BECOMING A K-POP IDOL?
• A mother who wants to do it all--raise a family and have a successful career. I have no experience to rear this one with.
• A person who only sees the flaws in a seemingly perfect life. TOO INTERNAL
• okay okay um.. think people fighting.... why do people fight.... idk fighting is dumb and drama is dumb and burdening other people is dumb. :c
• Let's not write romance
• The anti-cupid. A person that goes around not wanting others to be in a relationship lolol
• An audition? ... Best friends who go for the same audition?
• A person who has no dreams sets off to.... to............ do.... a thing.. that I can't.. think of......