Karma comes right back to bite in the butt. I'm a terrible person. I'll admit.. whenever I used to see someone in a relationship be sad, I couldn't help but feel this slight selfish bitterness like, Why are you even sad? You're in a relationship. How can you be lonely? You have a person that likes you and can be there for you. I don't know what the fuck made me feel like they weren't entitled to have negative emotions. But it's not like fortunate people aren't allowed to have misfortunes. It's really fucked up that I thought that way, and I still couldn't help feeling it even though it completely went against my logic. It's so fucked up it'ssofuckedup. And now for the first time, I'm in a relationship. And it feels so terrible to feel terrible. Because I feel like I'm a hypocrite and like I'm not allowed to be sad, because I didn't think it right for others in a relationship to be sad. It doesn't feel fair. So now I feel even worse and guilty. And it's an endless cycle of me wishing I didn't have terrible thoughts upon other people in the first place and trying to dispel my own emotions.