a sudden wave of sadness

Realizing now that as I start school again tomorrow, I'll be most likely having lunch by myself in my car in between classes.. xD;; A bit of a depressing thought, but can't really be helped. Last year, I was retarded and didn't give myself any breaks from 9 til 2 so I always just snuck food in class and dealt with hunger pains, but now I have some time to eat but just lack somewhere to eat/company.

College is so lonely haha. I'm definitely going to try to not shut off my heart and am going to do my best to make friends.. but honestly, that's so much easier said than done. And I'm entering my second year of college which makes it all the harder because most have established their relationships and networks already.

I hate to have such a stupidly sad and ranty post already when I just started using this blog. ;; I've been trying really hard all day to fight the depression that comes with thoughts of college, but it lingers and haunts and burdens my already heavy heart. (The lonely aftertaste of what has been the best summer of my life doesn't help at all..)

I just... hate college. ^^;;
To the point where I had a hard time even taking a simple presentation regarding college, while I was still in high school, and was so overwhelmed that I cried, despite being in class. :< I cried a lot last summer. I guess I'm a little stronger now and my heart is a little duller and colder, because I haven't cried yet. Still, I've yet to fully swallow and accept everything, so I can't say that I've grown at all because it's evident that I'm still immature as ever.

ANYWAY.
My college sophomore year starts tomorrow. I'm... just going to grit my teeth and run through.

I'm really sorry to be such a downer hahaha. ;w; It's just that today happens to be a really hard day for me, but it's a hurdle that I'm very slowly but surely soaring over.

[Not going to lie, but that 3-month-old sandwich that I found in my backpack which was from my last college semester really.. helped lift my spirits LOOOOOOL I CAN'T GET OVER IT.. It's as hard as a tabletop and I can't stop smiling.]