to go on dates with myself. To take myself out, to treat myself, to enjoy the solitude, to find myself.
This is something I'm bad at because 1) I used to really suck at and dislike being in public, 2) I hated especially being alone in public, and 3) I'm too lazy to get dressed and drive out somewhere if I'm not even meeting anyone... but mostly the getting dressed part. Soooo much effort. Even getting dressed to meet anyone is a lot of effort.
Finally today, I actually put on non-pajama clothes and went out! I think even just a few weeks ago, I would've been too scared but now I'm okay and I enjoyed it! It's nice because I actually feel like I spent today for myself, and not in the usual lazy way of wakes-up-at-4-PM-and-then-just-watches-dramas-in-bedroom.
Actually, I wrote my poem-wannabe Aspiration (later, A Bird in a Cage) with several meanings in mind. The most prevalent one, of course, is about dreaming and being incapable of aspiring for more yet not being satisfied with the lack of direction or motivation. Another meaning took "bird in a cage" more literally and was about my feelings about leaving the house or my room. I was always too scared to go out of the house much--and so often had I said that being in my bedroom is the best--and so I felt physically bound by mental chains of insecurities and ambivalence. And yet I couldn't bring myself to and wasn't ready to try spreading my unfamiliar wings, and neither did I completely yearn to. But that was then and now is now!
Unfortunately I had to get back home early to cook rice, so I couldn't actually do much. I got a milk foam oolong boba tea from Gong Cha. ^^ So yummy. And then I visited 2 Asian supermarkets to scout around for salmon sashimi HAHAHAHA. (Ey, from a practical view, it's good to know what places carry the better prices and tastes, okay.)
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| So I learned that trying to take webcam-style pictures like this doesn't work for me |
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| (back to the mirror) MILK FOAM TEA AND SASHIMIII |
I started making a list of places/stores/cafes that I can visit by myself next time. ^^ It's too bad that there aren't many things you can do by yourself, or places to go where it's not strange or boring if you're alone. It's also too bad that I don't live near any parks. at all.
Actually what sounds fun is maybe going out somewhere with my camera and just taking pictures of pretty or interesting things. ;v; I can only think of.. going to a park for that one OTL .. I'm not creative enough to come up with more.
Woahh that database. I think I love you. (I have a list of art galleries in my area that I want to go to ahaha. I should make a list for food places too ahaha lists are amazing)
ReplyDeleteI take a lot of pictures when I'm out ahaha since my mindset is "I want to save this and draw it later!" It's really bad in places that sell clothes or plants ;w; I have over 200 pictures just from that.
Does your area have any festivities or galleries or something? Sometimes my area has things like orchid shows, where people show off flowers and stuff! Those are nice >w<
omggg I wish my area had things like that. Then I wouldn't be so stumped in thinking of things I can do outside the house alone LOL.
DeleteI wish I had the same mindset ;A; but I don't draw. So most of the time, not much motivation to just take random pictures of things..
I think my mindset for taking pictures is more of spazzing out about everything. "THIS IS A PRETTY SKY. I'LL TAKE A PICTURE OF IT. THIS IS A PRETTY TREE. I'LL TAKE A PICTURE." I just think everything is pretty oops.
DeleteDoes your area have like community centers or something? Those might have something like movie night where there's a designated restaurant and stuff. Those are kinda fun!
I'm not really that good with this since I never really got the concept of a "date" ahaha oops. Most of the time people just go out to eat on dates I think?? eating, movies... @^@ Yelp is pretty good for this kind of stuff though ahaha maybe you'll find something?