The start of 2013 and spring were all about my well-being and self-improvement. I took a hiatus from singing because of my damaged throat, and also because I developed acid reflux. I started exercising for the first time on my own accord, started sleeping earlier, and ate healthier. I no longer allowed myself to be a sponge that bore others' burdens. I learned to continue being diligent in school while also being more relaxed and less anxious about it. That semester, I had fun and made friends in university for the first time. ;u;
In summer 2013, my network of friends expanded exponentially. For the first time, I started going out of the house more and I started enjoying hanging out with people and visiting new places. It became normal for me to go out often and come home very late. For the first time, I appreciated and yearned for the company of others. I became less fearful of socializing, and even came to finally accept that I am in college and growing up; I now don't feel depressed when telling others what my major is or when I'm checking my email. This summer and into fall, I learned what it was like to be in a relationship, and that I do have the capacity for romantic affection.
This winter, I am a stronger and happier person than ever before. The depression that I've been plagued with for many years no longer visits. The most important change is that I've become a much more confident person, in that I've learned to love and believe in myself. I'm sorting my feelings and my rationalizations out. For the first time, I feel like I do have a dream, which is to feel successful. Though I still lack motivation and direction, I feel like a somewhat accomplished person more than ever.
I turned 20 in 2013 and since then, went from the confused and apprehensive no-longer-a-teenager with a one-fifth life crisis, to the me now who's completely embraced being 20 years old and is living it the way I want.
So into 2014 I go as a wiser person. I'm not sad to see 2013 go because I'm leaving it with hardly any regrets. Now I'm looking forward to this year and what opportunity it might bring.
And now for my 100 goals, as I've done every year since 2009!
And making shit up because it's really damn hard to reach 100, as I've done every year since 2009!
(as always, I just reuse a lot of them from previous years hahaha)
1. Be happy :)
2. Always have confidence!
3. Take care of your health first ;A;
4. Continue having the attitude and willingness to improve yourself!
5. Be selfish and don't take so much burden upon yourself.
6. Even if others don't, make sure to love yourself!!
7. But also remember to love others♥
8. #NYA forever <3
9. I know I won't, but xD never stop singing!
10. Keep working on your rapping as well!
11. More mature voice?
12. Maybe improve at being able to sing in front of others? (esp at karaoke)
13. Improve endurance and one-shotting
14. Do things and indulge in things that make you happy.
15. Keep painting your nails!
16. Experiment with make-up a bit and learn?
17. Properly learn how to use my curling iron OTL
18. Mm.. more stylish and publicly-presentable clothes?
19. Make more friends!
20. Don't be too shy to approach people ;v;
21. Don't be so afraid of attention!
22. Improve your posture.
23. Get better at mixing! Especially at EQing 'cause it's so hard for me right now sob
24. Make good use of your camera 'cause that shit was expensive HAHA
25. Try to experiment with and improve at cinematography? ;v;
26. Don't let yourself have sudden weight loss like what happened these past months.
27. Exercise! Weight training!!
28. Maybe not anytime soon.... but later in 2014 when my weight is okay again.... absercises? *^*
29. Try to wake up not.... right before dinner.
28. ...Try to wake up early enough to have breakfast or brunch at least.
29. Kick yourself off the computer at 1:30 AM at the latest!!
30. No more late night snacking.
31. Don't let acid reflux come back... and if it does, take care of it.
32. Keep hydrated!!
33. Flash dat smile.
34. Become a more motivated person.
35. Improve your range!
36. WORK ON KOREAN
37. WORK ON JAPANESE
38. WORK ON MANDARIN (well more like just keep listening to your coworkers conversing and pick up more of the language)
39. Maybe try picking up French again?
40. Don't get fired from work ;^;
41. If other opportunities come up again like the 2013 year-end company video, take them!
42. AND KICK ASS WITH THEM
43. Of course, let's go to Anime Expo~
44. FINISH. THAT. COSPLAY. ASAP.
45. Don't let yourself stress out so much anymore ;v;
46. Keep vlogging! Even if nobody watches it. It's okay!
47. Don't be afraid to show your true colors on your blog.
48. Continue being an A student if possible. But remember that it's COMPLETELY okay to get B's!
49. Random acts of kindness towards strangers!
50. Be kinder to your parents.
51. ack this is starting to become hard now LOL. umm.... PUNS AND WORD PLAY ALL DAY ERRDAY.
52. Maybe try learning to cook
53. Don't let your stutter stop you.
54. Take off your glasses when you don't need them.
55. Improve skin? ;A; Maintain my complexion?
56. Don't close your heart off. Don't be afraid.
57. Stop being so intimidating/unapproachable ;;
58. Maybe let's try wearing infinity scarves!
59. L...learn to sew?
60. Maybe pick up drawing again? ;x;
61. Oh, actually I'd like if I could continue those Food for Thought posts. Those are interesting to write. xD
62. Be comfortable in your own skin.
63. But still aim to become a more a likable person.
64. Eat more fruits!!
65. Use your time responsibly and productively.
66. But always take time to just relax.
67. I wonder if I can continue being on top of k-dramas? haha
68. Be clear on what are your feelings and what are instead matters of the mind.
69. Embrace change.
70. Don't be so negatively over-conscious about your appearance.
71. Don't let your response to every one of these goals next year to be "FUCK. ...FUCK. ....FUUUCK." LOL
72. Keep having the heart of a child, but be less immature.
73. Stop being so damn lazy. Wash your own dishes, bitch
74. Don't spend so much time sitting in front of the computer!
75. Stop being late to work so much..
76. Oh right weren't there those destressing techniques and meditation and whatnot
77. Keep your hair in check LOL. Try going to salons !?
78. Can we finally do a duet with your best frand chiisarnar again please
79. Become less uptight but still responsible?
80. ...DO SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS or risky or something. You'll be 21 LOL
81. Oh right I'm gonna be 21, so... Vegas trip with frands from high school!
82. Maybe if I have time... start using my abandoned entertainment blog again
83. .... OH GOD THE 83 FACE. Dammit Denny. Keep having a love-hate friendship with Denny.
84. Practice dancing?
85. FINALLY FILM THE SHORT GENIE DANCE COVER I PROMISED PEOPLE FOREVER AGO?
86. .. Remember to floss!
87. You need not forget the past, but don't yearn for it.
88. Don't be so lazy and try to dress up more?
89. Maaaaybe.... give League of Legends another try.
90. Don't become overloaded with online responsibilities, like mixing 8D
91. Vitamins!!
92. Whenever you microwave something for longer than 1 min 30 sec, get your ass on the cycling machine until it's done.
93. Be less of a crybaby.
94. Try to make people laugh ;u;
95. Sob let's try to make friends in college
96. Live lightheartedly~
97. ALWAYS SARCASM.
98. I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST THAT NO ONE EVER WAS
99. I was going to exclude this one because my interest really isn't that deep anymore, but... I couldn't bring myself to. Let's keep supporting Super Junior-M and Henry Lau!
100. WORLD DOMINATION.
Oh right. I always end these things with a selca. Ja~
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