idol mitai

ヽ (≧。≦ ) Sometimes I wish I could I could blog like an idol.

You know~ in an idol.｡.:*☆ style!! 
It looks like a lot of fun~! 

I-I would show off my love  although it's embarrassing.. ///

hehe this is my current love!! 

ice cream sandwiches!!!  o（*゜ワ゜*）o   ~a whole box of happiness!
although..  I ate so much that there's not much left..  sigh~ 

It would be so much fun to blog like an idol   Really, really cute!! So much color, animation, and sparkles~! 

and then I remember--NO. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ

So it was recently

my grandpa's birthday, and my dad made him a photo album as a present.

This is the cover.

(I know; can't you tell just how much time and effort I put into the censoring?~♥)

(Lol I fucking would be the tallest person in my family. This is why I feel like a monster.)

The inside is comprised of many memories: group pictures, wedding photos, snaps of relatives that live far away, baby pictures.

But what slayed me was the back cover:

My grandpa, with one eye closed, raising his cell phone at the camera.
Stahp. I can't.

y r u here.

Bro Deito

So I've been in the LA area for Thanksgiving break and had the pleasure of hanging out my awesome friends Ian, Andy/Kimchi, and Bern today. :D Just those 7 hours made the entire draggy trip worth it haha. It's been a while since I've smiled or laughed that much. Thanks for the truly enjoyable day! You guys are some of the cooler people that I know =v=)b

(This post is really just a collection of pictures documenting our time together.)
(Edit: Added vlog at end of post!)
(Edit: Added purikura~)

Day started out with going to a cafe and getting pearl drinks/coffee.

(because this picture is reminiscent of the turkey leg bone picture I took of Ian at Disneyland)

And of course, having a random stranger take pictures of us--well hey, she offered--while waiting for a table at the ramen/Japanese restaurant. 8D

[Andy, Bern, Eva, Ian]
awks

bro stance
(click for larger size~)

I See the Light (Duet)

I uploaded a video for the first time since January!


【Duet】 I See the Light 【Eva &     】

[I recommend that you start from 2:00 or at least give that a chance before clicking the back button.]

Last March, I was asked for a duet by a very talented individual whom I'd admired for a while from afar—somebody that I'm sure many recognize and miss. Thank you for this opportunity of the greatest honor and sorry that this has been delayed for so many months because of me.
祝你生日快乐 & 祝你好运! :D

Originally performed by: Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi ("Tangled" OST)
Illustration: Fanart by Jakuroi
MP3 download: https://www.box.com/s/d210i5gk4w7vuk6ts5nl

Thank you to ChiisanaChanx3 for assisting with EQ aka saving my incompetent ass ♥
Thank you to mystraven for choosing a font for me so I could rush this crummy video after realizing I needed to upload ASAP ehehehe;;;

It's been 10 months since my last upload!! Unless I produce some random short cover while procrastinating during finals, my next upload probably won't be for a while. Nevertheless, thank you to those who have shown me support and kindness. ^^
o right and happy thanksgiving wow i really need to pack 'cause leaving for LA in 5 hours and i've been doing this instead herp

This duet really holds a lot of meaning for me. It's not exactly a SECRET but because I was asked to not credit him, I'll respect that and won't mention the name of my duet partner in this post. ^^ (Although if you've been around the vocaloid scene, for many, it's pretty obvious~)

I'm really grateful to him though. I was presented TWO opportunities of great honor actually: a duet and a friendship--neither of which I would've ever had the courage to .. pursue? ask for? Even though I looked up to him a lot and could only ever dream of those things.

Asking me to this duet was really the first time I actually had a real conversation with him and it was what led to us becoming friends. ;w; Honestly, I would've never expected us to become friends, and I'm very lucky because he's overall a very friendly, sweet, and AMAZING person whose company I appreciate.

I'm also really late. 8 months late to be exact. But even though it takes me a long time, I always get things done. I don't forget promises. Of course I had to prioritize other things (school, work, birthday choruses, sleep) over this, but I NEVER forgot about this duet for even a second. The immense amount of guilt I carried towards him in those 8 months..................... OTL;;;;; His lines were DONE in March (which is incredible because I've heard that he's often late with lines? haha) and I kept being able to do nothing but apologize... Then I finally finished my lines around the end of August/early September. By then, he had to "graduate" from the community and from being a utaite, and so I was left with the task of mixing it. I basically had no time to work on it until the past few weeks LOL I procrastinated doing homework to redo some of my parts.. other times to work on the mix..
Finally, last night =v= I had to stay up til almost 5 AM because that was the final push required to get this done. AND NOW IT'S DONE YAAAAY AND THAT'S THE TL;DR STORY OF THIS VIDEO

I'm sure a lot of people miss him ;v; and miss his voice. This video might be a little surprising for some people who didn't expect to hear much of his voice again. INVOKING AAAALLLLLL THE FEELS. /o/

On an unrelated note, I'm in LA right now for Thanksgiving! (We left at 8 AM.. so 3 hours of sleep even though it's vacation, woooooo. 8DD;;;;;)

Very excited because I'm meeting up with Ian, Andy, and Bern on Saturday!!

Eva @waterpixieva

If there's a drink called Icy Delight, I'm gonna buy it and when my order finally comes, I'mma burst into, "AND AT LAST ICY DELIIIIIGHT"

White

Because I'm that loser that gets overly excited over new clothes LOL. My wardrobe is that plain.
Not a dress this time though!

I was trying it on last night and decided to just camwhore so this is me being weird at 2 AM AHAHAHA like idk what that pose is or whatever oh please just ignore me

Anyway, I've been wanting a sweater like this for a while, and especially in a color like white, cream, pink, etc. Not sure why, but I've been donning a shit ton of black lately--which is totally unfamiliar to me. My friend and I used to joke in middle school that if my youtube account at the time (waterpixie) were ever to be suspended, I would start wearing black all the time LOLL. Oh wait it did get suspended. Everything all makes sense now O A O

Also new warm leggings yaaaay I've been meaning to buy some more 'cause I'm trying to get into leggings/pantyhose, but only owned 2 pairs 'til now. xD

Omg I look like some upset spoiled brat that's trying too hard to be cute

Buffet #3

[11:29:06 PM] Chiisana: SHOULD WE BUFFET IT UP AGAIN THIS WEEKEND
[11:29:25 PM] Eva: omg you
[11:29:33 PM] Eva: let me fetch my tweet from earlier today
[11:29:41 PM] Eva: @waterpixieva
I WANT RAW OYSTER. AND SASHIMI. AND JUST..a buffet. I just want to pig out. Maybe I'll drag otherchild out this weekend for de-stressing ;A;
[11:29:47 PM] Chiisana: .......................
[11:29:48 PM] Chiisana: LOOOOOOOOOL
[11:29:57 PM] Eva: @waterpixieva
Randomly started craving raw oyster again on the drive home
[11:30:02 PM] Chiisana: I was literally just like
[11:30:03 PM] Chiisana: sob
[11:30:11 PM] Chiisana: I'm really depressed and stressed and I want to pig out sob
[11:30:22 PM] Eva: .... i think we are the same person.
[11:30:25 PM] Chiisana: probably.


.............
So this is our 3rd consecutive weekend of going to a buffet together and raiding the sushi area.
We went at like 5 PM because the one we went to this time is really popular and has crazy lines. :D But despite its reputation, it being a sushi/seafood buffet, and in our area, it was both our first times going. BEST BUFFET WE'VE BEEN TO SO FAR. The sashimi was better than a lot of sushi-specialty restaurant sashimi that we've had.

(those mounds of salmon sashimi on chiisa's plate. no joke.)

【Gemini Vlog】 Myst's Surprise Birthday Party

One of the more memorable moments of our #GeminiMeetUp 2012. ♥
The full vlog covering the entire trip will be uploaded on Gemini's channel so look out for it at: http://www.youtube.com/SoujiStar

Birthday Girl Myst - http://www.youtube.com/mystraven

GEMINI:
Chiisana - http://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3
Eva - http://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Jay - http://www.youtube.com/JaySingYou
Jeffrey - http://www.youtube.com/unaffection (not present)
Mimi - http://www.youtube.com/x3LoveyDovey
Ryan - http://www.youtube.com/RyanEatPho

[9:33:53 PM] Chiisana: 【Gemini in Real Life and not with Art covering our faces no this is really us with many cameras and this is real】

[11/12/2012 12:22:59 AM] Chiisana: The cake being on fire was the most unsuspecting yet hilariously perfect thing that happened ;u;)b

[11/12/2012 12:31:07 AM] Chiisana: okay now I think I've watched it 10 times

[11/12/2012 12:31:14 AM] Ryannie: I feel so lucky to have made such amazing memories

[11/12/2012 12:31:16 AM] Ryannie: ugh..

[11/12/2012 12:31:18 AM] Eva: ajsdflk i keep watching it over and over too

[11/12/2012 12:31:19 AM] Eva: even though

[11/12/2012 12:31:20 AM] Ryannie: best vacation of my life

[11/12/2012 12:31:23 AM] Chiisana: I feel so so lucky too

[11/12/2012 12:31:24 AM] Chiisana: ><

[11/12/2012 12:31:25 AM] Eva: i spent 3 months on this video LOL

[11/12/2012 12:31:29 AM] Ryannie: lmao

[11/12/2012 12:31:34 AM] Eva: i've probably seen it over a hundred times omg

[11/12/2012 12:40:04 AM] Chiisana: now I'm listening to RSGB and wanting to cry LOL

[11/12/2012 12:40:09 AM] Chiisana: I wish life could just go away

[11/12/2012 12:40:13 AM] Chiisana: so we could have lots of time

[11/12/2012 12:40:18 AM] Chiisana: to create wonderful Gemini things together

[11/12/2012 12:40:24 AM] Chiisana: T^T

[11/12/2012 2:14:10 PM] Jay: [chii] just brings out her rock and everyone acts like its normal to have

[11/12/2012 2:14:12 PM] Jay:  a rock at the table

[11/12/2012 2:13:38 PM] ⊱⊱ Mimi ❝나를 잊지마요❞: I love when we see the cake

[11/12/2012 2:13:40 PM] ⊱⊱ Mimi ❝나를 잊지마요❞: combusting

[11/12/2012 2:13:41 PM] ⊱⊱ Mimi ❝나를 잊지마요❞: LOL

Responsibility

Ahaha I've become so accustomed to bombarding this place. Woooo triviality~

Two things today that I'm really relieved about:

This is one of those whiny rants

(in which I give little to no fucks about trying to make any intelligent sense or maintaining dignity)

[7:00:07 PM] Eva: wow i'm just. prepared to kill myself 'cause my boss asked if i could come tomorrow since the other intern won't be here and i'm like lol no i have class from 10:30 til 3 and then 6 til 9, and then she's like, "Okay, I'll just.. wait for you on Thursday.................... It'll be a lot." and i'm just like QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ because i already have a paper due tomorrow and another assignment due Friday and i already worked an hour overtime today QQQQ okay time to go home bye

As soon as I got home, I lost all strength in my knees and now I'm stressed out, and guess what I just did over eating dinner? I watched Citizen Kane because it's required for film class and now I have to shower and keep working on my stupid anthropology paper, and then possibly start on the thingy due Friday--'cause who knows how late I'm getting home from work on Thursday--for Argumentation and Advocacy. which I really don't want to do because (refer to rant about how I hate that class). Y'know, work wasn't as stressful as usual today and I actually had a some downtime which was nice but you know what I did with that? I worked on my stupid anthropology paper. Wow. Just. Should I just stop breathing then to get everything done? 'Cause there's this thing I'd like to do too that's called sleep and idk that sounds kinda nice; oh right and those other things called rest or fun or happiness or hobbies--those sound rather dandy too. Also I'm a little tired of carrying others' weight. Ok I'm sorry I just get really grumpy when I'm tired.


Oh yeah I got instagram today on my iPad at work because the sky looked really cool although idk what I'm gonna do with it (if anything's done at all) 'cause I already spam twitter and this blog with random stuff, and redundantly too. Like srsly this ain't even a respectable web blog chronicling anything interesting--I just come here to this spamhole and puke into words and pictures everything I think or see.

Anyhow, the sky was interestingly checkered today.

Late night rambling

This is just me overthinking and overanalyzing everything at usual, at 2 AM. Something I ponder over every so often, and I'm just type-vomiting 'cause the cogs in my head are running but don't want to do anything productive.

But I kind of wonder what people think of me--how they see me, what kind of image I have, and what attributes of mine they care about.
(Excuse me for possibly sounding vain.)

I feel like some people only see me as a face, or a pair of legs.
Others see me only as a brain: the valedictorian nerd who's only capable of getting good grades.
And others as just a voice. Or even a mixer.


It's really selfish, but sometimes I wish that everybody could see all of these. ;w; I don't really know how to explain it..

I guess this kind of sparked though from my recent bloom of activity and attention within the Twitter community. Sometimes it feels like it's been forgotten that I sing? Or that people are just not really aware that I sing at all, because they've been introduced to me as the tall girl with the legs that Chii likes? On the other hand, sometimes I'm seen as only a voice and it seems that it's forgotten that there's a person behind that. Then there's school, where I'm seen as just an all-around dull, nerdy wallweed.
And it's not that I don't appreciate attention or any acknowledgement of my existence at all--it's just that it feels like my image is sometimes very one-dimensional when I know there's so much to me than that, and I know you'd like me a little better if you got to know me.

Again, it's just me being selfish and delusionally idealistic. xD Realistically, people are just gonna see what they're given and I'm no celebrity so why would they take that much interest anyway LOL

Only Hope

https://www.box.com/s/4gboacmmye4dd1740agj

(Warning: gross nasally tone and pitchiness)

It's midnight and I'm procrastinating on a research paper that's due Wednesday. Been having a gnawing desire to sing this song ever since I went on my Suzy (Miss A) spree and relistened to her version from the finale of Dream High. [Hi, I now have the biggest girlcrush on Suzy, alongside Eunji from A Pink.]

This has always been one of my favorite songs though, despite my never having watched A Walk to Remember. *A* It's beautiful, calming, yet heart-stirring. <3 I don't know why, but it holds a lot of meaning to me.
Fun fact: I made a Tsubasa Chronicle AMV to this song about 6 years ago.

BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT that I have some inexplicable bias towards Mandy Moore because I've been told twice--in entirely different settings, by two unassociated people--that I look like an Asian version of her. LOLOLOLOL idk I don't really see it, but I'm flattered because I really like her. ;u; She's talented and gorgeous, and her being the voice for Rapunzel overjoys me.

B1A4 - Only One

A pretty old song that I'd always disregarded as just any other song, but I feel like my eyes have been opened to just how beautiful it is when Mimi showed me the translation of the lyrics.
Really, these lyrics are just wonderfully meaningful and what every girl should need to hear.
I've got goosebumps ;; My heart can't handle it.



Cry when you want to cry
Don't purposely hold in your sadness
I'll embrace you so that you can smile again

When you're tired,
I'll lend you my shoulder so that you can rest for a bit

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

Although this world tries to look at you with a small view
I can confidently say you're the only one

Find your broken dreams again. Don't say that you can't
I will help you to make that dream come true

When you feel like you can't breathe,
close your eyes for a bit and think about your future

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

Although this world tries to look at you with a small view
I can confidently say you're the only one

Uh I'll protect you and stay by your side as tears flow
Just rest without any worries in my embrace
The sadness formed in your eyes that won't fall
In your dreams there are rough dark clouds that don't show but
you smile. Don't hold back your hurt anymore
Just throw it high into the sky. I want to go towards the end now
Open up the wings that were folded away. Take my hand

Don't cry again

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

Although hearts that changed coldly may not know you,
who is cooler than anyone, stay by my side. You're the only one

I pray no tears in your dreams
I know you'll fly high in your life

UtaProm12 + tofebruary

(Written some days ago but I held this one back because I kept piling on blog posts, oops.)
I was totally supposed to blog this right after UtaProm12, but right after that weekend, I went straight into my week and a half of academic hell so here it is now LOL.

YEAH. So October 28th, 2012 was the very first UtaProm or prom for the twitter users of the YouTube-based vocaloid covering/fan community.
It's explained here in Niiro's proposal of the event. xD

Honestly I didn't really care for having a date or not LOL I wanted to participate because it was a fun excuse to dress up and see others in formalwear. :D It was an enjoyable event that united many people; frankly, I don't see why some certain folks made so much drama over it and over little trivial matters. In any case, I believe that it was a great idea and hope to see another similar event next year. ^^

Ummmmmmmm yeah awkward but this was my tweet HAHAHA

"I brought a whole bag of dates to#UtaProm12!"

THIS SOUNDS A LITTLE VAIN BUT I HONESTLY DID NOT EXPECT TO GARNER SO MUCH ATTENTION.......... All those retweets, favorites, and even kind replies of flattery from friends and strangers alike, oh my goddddd ;///A///;
(I wouldn't exactly consider myself a "popular" person on twitter at all, and I would've been shocked and flattered to even have--I don't know--2 or 3 retweets/favorites..?
But holy fuck. 9 retweets, 18 favorites, 11 tweets of kindness. My god. What the fuck? People are too nice. I appreciate it deeply but am also taken aback. Let me just go casually hide.)

Thing is that I didn't know if we had any dates so I went digging around the cupboards that day after my parents went out. If anything, I would've tweeted something like, "I couldn't find any dates, so I brought prunes to #UtaProm12!" LOLOLOLOL. Because honestly I think my picture would've been rather boring/not very outstanding without a joke and so I REALLY wanted to incorporate one. ;u; I would've felt awkward/overly self conscious if the focus was entirely on me and the dress. AND THEN I ACTUALLY FOUND A BAG OF DRIED DATES. |'DDDDDDDDDDD;;; Hallelujah! I'm so lame omgah.

After taking this picture, I actually spent the rest of the day studying for my midterms in the upcoming week, but a lot of people wanted to webcam and I also didn't want to sit around in such a formal, uncomfortable dress (which I wore to my actual senior prom). So I changed into a more casual one. :'D

(lol it looks like pajamas in this pic)

This I ordered from tofebruary.com and I was actually planning to blog about my 2-piece tofebruary mini-haul (because I get excited easily over purchases), and this just makes the perfect segway LOL.

I REALLY LIKE TOFEBRUARY. It's the cutest website with the cutest things and really cheap shipping. I don't pay any particular attention to the clothes other than the dresses because they're too cutesy for my style, but the jewelry especially is adorable and captivating. :D T-they seem rather fitting as perfect adorable couple jewelry ;v;)/
Even the receipt that came with the package is adorable as hell and there's a handwritten "Thank you! ღ" in super cute handwriting eeee.

Mostly I enjoy browsing the site because fuwa fuwas but then one day (lol prior to daddy's unemployment) I was like OKAY, I WORK REALLY HARD IN GENERAL, AND I DEDICATE A LOT OF TIME TO MY JOB, AND LIFE SUCKS, AND I'M NOT WORKING FOR THE MONEY, AND I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN I ACTUALLY NEED........... so I should spend it once in a while. Also I'm still going through this phase of being obsessed with dresses.

And I really liked the dress so I bought it on impulse :DDD;;;;;;;;

It's this: http://www.tofebruary.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=&products_id=1098

I'm disappointed though because it looks as though the black halter is attached to the dress but it's actually not. ಠ___ಠ So misleading, wao ide. But s'k 'cause I have a black laced cami.

The other thing I bought was this bracelet BECAUSE I KIND OF WANTED TO TRY HAVING MORE CUTE CHUNKY BRACELETS. 8D

I don't own many accessories because I'm plain to the bone in both personality and appearance, but one of my favorite items--which prompted my desire for more cute chunky bracelets--has got to be this bracelet that I got to pick out for free from spending a certain amount at.. I don't remember what store LOL OTL. Have to admit though that its beauty partially stems from the fact that it was free HAHAHA. /asian

I-i-it's so cute though ;3; ♥

I keep it in my Disney Princess treasure box (shown at this angle BECAUSE ARIEL<3) along with the heart/ribbon bracelet, my Super Junior (BECAUSE I'M A PROUD ELF) wristband, and my friendship bracelet with Yanovi, Myst, and Chiisana which was a gift to all of us from Yanovi. ♥♥♥

[I get really excited over any and everything I buy/own because I'm a loser who's not used to relatively pretty things and rarely orders things online ufufufu.]

A Day of Dates

And no, I don't mean the dried dates I brought to prom--I mean actual human beings! Well.. given, they weren't legit romantic dates, but at least let me fantasize, mmkay?

So I met up with Robert/Robby/Rob/Fyre (llfyrell@yt; iFyre@twitter) for the first time yesterday! :D Originally from New York, he came to California to make a presentation in a science convention, and AS AWESOME LUCK WOULD HAVE IT--it happened to take place in my city. In fact, downtown. 4 blocks away from my university HAHAHA.

So I picked him up and oh lordy, worst first impression ever. Right off the bat, we got lost and I made a lot of accidental wrong turns, so I was screaming and cussing and being downright loudly obnoxious LOL. Partially because I guess I already felt really comfortable with Robby<3 and partially because I road rage a lot. 8DD;;

We went up to the favorite ice cream place of #TeamSiliconValley (unofficial name for me, Yanovi, Chiisana, and Myst that I just came up with right now) and being us, we just ate, took pictures, and abused the store's free wifi to go on skype call with Mango LOLL.

I only took 2 videos in total so I just smushed them together and uploaded it as a very informal, random mini vlog.


Then we had a grand time devouring juice of Mango's brethren's remains. OvO

Afterwards, we headed over to the nearby supermarket where Robby was super sweet and paid for all my things :c including calcium gummies (omg whenever I see "Vitafusion," I start thinking, "voca...." and then I want to slap myself).

AND WE FOUND MINI PILLOW PETS :DDDDDDDDD SO WE GOT MATCHING DOLPHINS.

Except we call them "cleavage dolphins" because when they become pets as opposed to pillows, their plush is squished together, and.... I don't really need to explain this, right? LOL.

 <--derp

CLEAVAGE DOLPHINNNNNSSSS
We are so cool ;^;)9

Although we only got to spend about 4 hours together (most of which was spent in my car because we got lost, because traffic, because the ice cream place is far from downtown), it was really fun and shall forever be a precious memory to me. ;u; We were really awkward and dorky though, which I think just makes it all the more endearing hehe.
Thanks, Robby, for letting me kidnap you<3 I can't wait to see him again sometime!

PROOF THAT I ACTUALLY ONCE GOT TO HOLD ROBBY'S HANDS THAT'RE SOFTER THAN A GIRL'S.

Immediately after dropping Robert back off at the Convention Center, I made my way back onto the freeway towards Chiisana's school's direction because I anticipated traffic and would rather not wait until she contacted me about rehearsal being over to set off. :> Was right; she texted me while I was in traffic and on my way. xD

I'm really the luckiest person LOL. Right after finishing a date with Robby: a date with Chiisana. And they're two of my favorite people. 8D But yeah, Chiisana and I'd been wanting to pig out together to relieve stress as we're both incredibly busy. She happened to have a coupon for a local buffet, SO THE FEAST WAS ON. -fistpump-

As expected, our first priority is always raiding and hoarding the sushi counter.

And the sushi was actually pretty good for a buffet! The two of us are pretty picky when it comes to sashimi but it wasn't unsatisfactory at all--in fact, it was generally pretty good, albeit not as fresh and had a bit of a moldy softness to it as opposed to a smooth, melting softness.

At one point, I showed Chiisana my dolphin mini pillow pet, and the following conversation ensued:

C: EHH?! I have this one too!
E: WAIT.. THAT EXACT SAME ONE?
C: Yeah, but like the bigger version...
E: LOLOL IT MUST BE OUR MOTHER! So like, we called them cleavage dolphins because LOOK! When you do this, it looks like it has cleavage. :D
C: ............................I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY QAAAQ MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED...
E: YOUR CHILDREN HAVE CLEAVAGE!!
C: Oh no, that's terrible Q___Q!
E: HAHAHAHAHA what do you mean terrible
C: They grow up too fast..

[10:45:35 PM] Robbeh: Why does she disapprove of our cleavage dolphins //sob
[10:45:44 PM] Eva: our mother is Chiisana now :D
[10:45:50 PM] Eva: ...which is weird as fuck
[10:45:59 PM] Eva: because she's also my sister but also Mimi's child, but Mimi's also my sister

We made ice cream mountains! Well, Chiisana did. Because she's the most pro soft-serve ice cream putting-into-cone-er-person I've ever seen. ovo)b


So what I wore today was the black dress that Ryan and Jay helped pick out for me during #GeminiMeetUp. <3 It's a shame you can't see it from pictures but I think its charm is that the upper portion is sheer material, and the back is a little lower than expected--so while it's an innocent dress, it's also slightly not LOL. The gray blazer worn atop was actually picked out by Chiisana on that same day. ^^ Gemini outfit, YEAAAH!♥

[3:01:50 PM] Chiisana: oh did we tell you about how when we were walking out of the buffet last night
[3:01:58 PM] Chiisana: we saw a car right in front of us with HORRIBLE PARKING
[3:02:07 PM] Chiisana: like 1/3 into the parking spot next to it
[3:02:09 PM] Chiisana: and we were like
[3:02:12 PM] Chiisana: LOLOL WAO DAT PARKING.
[3:02:22 PM] Chiisana: and we were kind of too loud and suddenly there was a guy behind us
[3:02:25 PM] Chiisana: and we were like
[3:02:30 PM] Chiisana: LOLOL-- wait wait is that guy
[3:02:34 PM] Chiisana: is that the guy's car
[3:02:34 PM] Chiisana: omg
[3:02:38 PM] Chiisana: WALK FASTER WALK FASTER
[3:02:40 PM] Chiisana: HAHAHA
[3:02:51 PM] Chiisana: because we're PREEETTY SURE HE HEARD US OTL
[3:03:05 PM] Chiisana: but it was even more hilarious because he literally walked to his car to get something and then left
[3:03:09 PM] Chiisana: and didn't even bother reparking
[3:03:11 PM] Chiisana: so it's like whut lol

In the Dark

I'm usually that person in class that's left without--I guess--a social niche.

I've established several times on this blog that I hate school. It's really not just the amount of schoolwork bogging me down when so much of my time is already consumed by work and online responsibilities, and the fact that I'm still unsure as fuck about the future and have a shaky mentality towards career paths. Honestly, I never feel as though I belong and I'm unable to make friends. In short: I feel like a loser and as though I'm socially inept.

Every time I go to school, I'm walking in there with trembling fear, paranoia, and self consciousness that I'm going to be hated--because there actually have been some signs that point to the potential of this. :/ Including being ignored when I speak and just a general rude attitude/lack of common courtesy towards me, spiked with short replies and a blank glare.

In any case, this rant is about my Argumentation and Advocacy class, which is basically public speech and debate. I'm going to be harshly truthful because I doubt anybody in that class takes enough interest in me to actively search me out and discover this blog.

In this particular class, I'm currently stuck in a pit. Not to try to feign superiority or be arrogant (lol who am I kidding; I'm pretty arrogant especially in this passage).. but I really dislike the people I currently have to work with for group activities, because IN REGARDS TO PARTICIPATING IN THIS CLASS, they are--in some sense or another--useless. .__. I'm not one to take initiative, and especially with strangers, I'm timid and pathetic. But FUCK, when a group of people are so silent, so incompetent, so unparticipative, so careless, so uncooperative, so uncommunicative, and fail so hard to contribute that /I/ have to step up and be the leader that is the ONLY person putting in an effort, the only person speaking for everyone, and the only one that cares? LIKE SERIOUSLY, SPEAK THE FUCK UP AND AT LEAST TRY TO HELP A LITTLE. YOUR ANNOYING ASS IS HEAVY AND I CANNOT AND DO NOT WANT TO CARRY YOUR GODDAMN WEIGHT BY MY RAGING, UNFORGIVING LONESOME.

And yet I can't stop having to associate with them. Because they're like me: people who don't have friends, who aren't wanted by the rest of the class, who are left partnerless when asked to find a partner, who simply don't belong. And so, we were clumped together not by our own choice.

Let me tell you this--I was really happy last Friday after a long spell of misery. I was bursting with joy to the point of being obnoxiously happy. This was due in part because it was finally Friday, I'd just finished a week of 3 midterms and a speech, and it meant I could finally rest + catch up on sleep.
But one tiny, minuscule, insignificant incident caused me to beam even brighter.
As my Argumentation and Advocacy class ended, I was stepping out of the classroom and about to make my way by myself to my car and go home, when I was suddenly stopped by a female classmate. "Do you have a group for the debate?" she asked even though I doubt she even knew my name. Turns out that she'd just asked 2 other people, and eyed me down to be the fourth and final member of her debate group. I obviously didn't have a group and so very readily agreed to join them, as the four of us established that we would discuss contact details during the next class meeting (today).

While I felt bad for leaving behind those that I usually work with, I WAS ALSO ECSTATIC BECAUSE I FINALLY GET TO LEAVE BEHIND THOSE THAT I USUALLY WORK WITH. :D

I guess I'm just a superficial person, but little things make me REALLY happy. And this little thing might not have meant anything to that girl. It might not have meant anything to any of the members of the group. But it made my day because IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE WANTED. It feels so good to be noticed! Somebody actually KNOWS me and wants me to work with them and I actually felt like a part of something and I felt useful and competent and oh maaaaan it made me happy.
It was as if a hand was reached out to me--to the me that's been drowning in a pit of darkness.

Today, we were asked to form our debate groups in Argumentation and Advocacy.
I don't know if they forgot.
Or just simply changed their minds.

But all of them made their own new groups.
I really did not want to work with the people that I usually work with again. I wanted to escape because working with them brings me nothing but frustration. Even the other members seemed to not want to work together anymore, because even they know that we have no chemistry. But everyone else in the class happily finished forming groups. And we had none. So now we're a debate group, because we have no choice.
And I feel like this hand that reached out to me before threw me away back into the dark.


This really isn't a big deal and I'm aware that I'm being overdramatic, but seeing this symbolically, I'm rather affected and just needed to let out some steam. Apologies for the negativity.

Halloween

(-Written mostly on Tuesday, November 6th-)
At work atm. xD Just wanted to blog a bit about Halloween and school, I guess.

T'was a very mortifying Halloween last Wednesday. Had 3 midterms that day on 1 hour of sleep so woooo, free zombie costume.

On the drive to school, I pass by an elementary school and it was SUCH a pleasant, endearing sight to see the courtyard full of children decked out in costumes playing together for recess. ;u; I saw a couple of Snow Whites playing together; it was really cute. xD It makes me happy that girls are still not only dressing up as princesses, but still can appreciate the older, classic, not very favored princesses like Snow White. (not-very-fun fact: I was Snow White for Halloween in 1st grade. :D Then Ariel in 4th grade and Mulan in 5th.)

Makes me pretty happy that children are even dressing up at all. ^^ Honestly it feels like this generation's getting less and less spirited. People are more stingily concerned about money than ever and not so concerned about "fun," so I would've expected more parents to slam the door against buying a silly costume.
Also on my way to my evening class, I saw kids trick-or-treating ;v; I was stopped at a light when I turned and saw little, tiny kids giving out candy to other little, tiny kids ASLDKF it was the most endearing sight~

Anyway, my midterms went well imo. ;D Studying, as always, was really worth it. Felt pretty confident about all 3 of them even though that was a LOT of information to retain just for one day.
That Friday, I had a speech for Argumentation and Advocacy ; ~ ; alskdfjsdklfj speeches.... Considering I had 3 midterms on Wednesday--one of which was for the evening class--and I worked on Thursday for 9 hours (spent my very short lunch break trying to work on the speech and had to work overtime too) then also had to do an assignment after getting home.... I only got to start practicing my 4-5 minute speech Thursday night at 10 PM..... =___=

Slept 2 hours that night and I was shaking really hard but I think I did okay on the speech! Pretty good for a person who's incapable of holding casual conversations and rated public speaking as "near death" for the class's introductory activity. I'M JUST HAPPY IT'S OVER :D

I found out yesterday that I actually got 112% on my anthropology midterm. LOOOOOOL WHUT.. Under those circumstances?! REALLY? (I can't believe the class average was still only in the 80's despite all of the possible extra credit.)
I'm sorry but my ego is soaring HAHAHAHAHA and there is no guilt in sight because I worked hard as fuck for that. 0:DDD

My anthropology teacher must hate me because despite my unintended drifting off in almost every class session this semester (exceptions being the first day or two, midterm days, and this one random day we watched videos on really adorable chimpanzees), I got 114% on the first midterm, 112% on the second midterm, and 100% on the research paper w/ no notes of critique. Uhoohooo~
Somebody stop my swelling ego before I float off into oblivion. /slapped

But yeah, after I finished my 3rd midterm which was for my evening class, my teacher let us go early so we could go party. xD My parents were out because they didn't want to deal with trick-or-treaters =_=;;;; so I met up with them at a mall. There were so many kids in costumes trying to trick-or-treat at the mall! And it was SO SAD because the majority of the stores had signs that wrote, "SORRY NO CANDY. Happy Halloween!" and it's just like duuuuuuuuuude wtf that's like saying, "Hey sorry for breaking your heart. Have a great day!"

I felt really bad for all the kids with empty buckets so I actually dug into my backpack--in which I ALWAYS keep candy (in attempt to keep myself awake in class, for headaches, to keep my tummy from rumbling in class, etc)--and kept all the candy I could find in my hands, in case there was an opportunity for me to offer it to desperate kids. But most of them clung to their parents, so I wasn't able to approach anyone without seeming like a creeper LOL.

Next Halloween, I'm thinking.. if I'm not too busy.. I might go to a mall, walk around with a bucket of candy, and donate to all the poor kids that're missing out on the experience of gathering Halloween candy, that aren't getting any hospitality from the corporate minds that won't share a bit of what might bring some joy. 8D I think that would be really fun! I'd feel like Santa Claus!!!



All this aside, I know the Halloween spirit's long passed, BUT MY LOVELY FRIENDS OVER IN THE GROUP Parefura (Palette's Fragment) have recently released a new upload: a Halloween special!



【Happy★Halloween】ペテン師が笑う頃に【PareFura】
(user/PalettesFragment)

Vocals:
Chiika (Pink) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/SymphonicTears
Xephy (Green) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/Xephy13
Mari (Navy Blue) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/ruukai
Ian (Teal) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/Kyosukexp
Chiisana (Light Blue) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/ChiisanaChanx3
Mango (Orange) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/Mangekyox3
Ryan (Red) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/RyanEatPho
Holi (Purple) || ‪http://www.youtube.com/user/xholicable

「ペテン師が笑う頃に」/ "Petenshi ga Warau Koro ni" / "When the Crooks Laugh"
Composer: 梨本P (Nashimoto-P)
Original Singer: Hatsune Miku
Original: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm7021921

Illustrations:
Capumuffin (Chibis, symbols, body linear for faces at end) http://capumuffin.deviantart.com
Chiika (colored and edited faces at end)

Script: Ryan, Mari
Harmonies: Ryan, Chiisana, & Mari
Animation: ******
Video Rendering: Saint (http://www.youtube.com/user/xkouchan)
Mixing: Chiisana, Ryan, & Eva


Another reason as to why I get to be Parefura's approved official biggest fan:
I get to work with their raw vocals.
Yes, suck on that.

A Serious Conversation Regarding Nougat

[11:12:10 PM] Chiisana: do you like
[11:12:10 PM] Chiisana: nougat
[11:12:16 PM] Eva: no i don't
[11:13:14 PM] Chiisana: so you are not a fan of the stickysquish oAo
[11:13:27 PM] Eva: idk i just don't like nougats at all owo

[11:14:17 PM] Chiisana: so would you say that because of this, you are not a fan of most chocolate bars? oAo
[11:15:11 PM] Eva: no
[11:15:19 PM] Eva: it's not the squishy factor
[11:15:26 PM] Eva: it's just the taste and what's usually inside nougat
[11:15:37 PM] Chiisana: o.o I didn't know they put things inside nougat
[11:16:01 PM] Chiisana: I thought they put nougat into chocolate bars
[11:16:03 PM] Chiisana: LOL
[11:17:23 PM] Chiisana: ohh I just googled nougat and they have "nougat bars"
[11:17:26 PM] Chiisana: that's really interesting LOL
[11:17:37 PM] Eva: .....................................................oh
[11:17:44 PM] Eva: what is actual nougat? o_o
[11:19:00 PM] Chiisana: iono isn't it just the chewyish squishy stuff inside like
[11:19:02 PM] Chiisana: milky ways
[11:19:04 PM] Chiisana: and three musketeers

[11:22:13 PM] Chiisana: idk I should be doing homework instead of suddenly becoming curious about nougat =A=
[11:23:43 PM] Eva: .......................................
[11:23:46 PM] Eva: i thought you were asking
[11:23:49 PM] Eva: because you had an actual purpose
[11:24:09 PM] Chiisana: ohh no D:
[11:24:25 PM] Chiisana: I just bit into a fun sized Milky Way bar
[11:24:28 PM] Chiisana: and then I thought
[11:24:29 PM] Chiisana: hmm
[11:24:32 PM] Chiisana: this is a lot of nougat
[11:24:36 PM] Eva: ................ OTL
[11:24:38 PM] Chiisana: I wonder what Eva thinks of nougat
[11:24:41 PM] Chiisana: I wonder what nougat is

ಠ___ಠ|l'

[11:47:49 PM] Chiisana: do you like candy Jay?
[11:48:00 PM] Jay: sometimes!
[11:48:12 PM] Chiisana: what kind of candies does Jay like? oAo
[11:51:06 PM] Eva: i thought for sure you were gonna ask about nougat
[11:51:12 PM] Eva: and i was gonna be like, ".. she found another victim."

iPad

This is just a really random, irrelevant post because I very randomly feel like it. I have another entry started from the last time I was at work (lol I swear I only ever blog at work because that's when my mind feels "productive") but haven't gotten a chance to continue it.

So I had a dream last night that I got a crack on the surface of my iPad. o_o
I was actually quite sad over this, and was slightly dumbfounded when I woke up to find that my iPad was fine.

But yeah, that baby's been my faux best friend ever since I started having computer problems I think LOL. I used to think that iPads are worthless--and I sometimes still do. I mean, it's just a gigantic iPod Touch, isn't it? And it doesn't function in the ways that one would require a computer to.
Honestly if it were up to me, I'd never buy one. I only have one because it was a high school graduation/valedictorian gift from my aunt (same one who gave me her "extra" iTouch when she found out I was too stingy to use anything but a cheap mp3 player). :D

On the back, it's got "Great Job Eva H Of Your 4 Years Straight A!" printed. QvQ<33 So I do proudly treasure it and for this reason, I cannot buy a cover/case because it'll block the print, although this means risking scratches and harm to the device.

Yeah so I actually wouldn't be surprised if I really got a crack on it HAHAHA. Nowadays, I literally carry it everywhere with me. When my stupid-ass new Dell laptop refuses to turn on, I use it to skype, tweet, and read manga from bed. I always carry it in my backpack--as I use it to check twitter and Surrender@20 while waiting for class, and to watch shows during my lunchbreak at work. And now I sleep in call every night while I (on my Powerpuff Girls pillow) leave iPad-san on my Mickey Mouse pillow and pretend that my call-buddies are sleeping next to me. 8DDD

oooooh fuck, yeah I oughta stop putting so much sentimental value into everything including objects. WHY DID I WRITE THIS POST AGAIN..........?
THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS herp