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| Mango salmon rice bowl! |
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| Tea! |
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| A picture of my $1.25 ice cream with Myst taking a picture of her ice cream |
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| Salmon Lovers sushi plate featuring Chiisana! |
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| Sushi rolls! |
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| Mango snow ice! |
[Phlog] F♥♥D
A week ago, I hung out with Myst in Berkeley~ Then met up with others for dinner. And this is a food blog because we ate a lot LOL. (And are painfully predictable..)
human canvas stuff 2k15
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa, Spring Break started !
And there are many upcoming photo posts. Be warned :'D;;
Chiisana (who's back for break yay!) slept over last Friday since we left early Saturday morning on a trip to Fresno with other friends, which I'll post about later. :>
We practiced applying eye make-up a bit! I defs need practice qqqqq
Mostly I wanted to experiment with having a more dramatic look for a photoshoot................. heh... since I would like to do better [than] [last] [year].
I'll.....work on it again when I eventually actually have more than 2 dark colors of eyeshadow.
THIS IS A CAMWHORE POST. with atrocious yellow bedroom lighting...
And there are many upcoming photo posts. Be warned :'D;;
Chiisana (who's back for break yay!) slept over last Friday since we left early Saturday morning on a trip to Fresno with other friends, which I'll post about later. :>
We practiced applying eye make-up a bit! I defs need practice qqqqq
Mostly I wanted to experiment with having a more dramatic look for a photoshoot................. heh... since I would like to do better [than] [last] [year].
I'll.....work on it again when I eventually actually have more than 2 dark colors of eyeshadow.
THIS IS A CAMWHORE POST. with atrocious yellow bedroom lighting...
The End of the Chapter
Is when the pen feels the heaviest.
Uncertain strokes on paper—
Too fast, too slow. A mess.
The nib's journey is done
Through roads of bliss and struggle.
The canvas is but bygones.
Time to lock up another easel.
--
Uncertain strokes on paper—
Too fast, too slow. A mess.
The nib's journey is done
Through roads of bliss and struggle.
The canvas is but bygones.
Time to lock up another easel.
--
[/ ]
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songs
I'm surprised I haven't yet mentioned this amazing song.
A Korean singer I deeply admire with the stage name Kris Leone came back with a new album last month that I snatched off iTunes as soon as it was available—before I had even heard it. Bah, I'm in love with all of her music. She debuted two years ago when she was 16'ish with songs that she wrote (in Korean and English) based off of experiences she's endured. She's so young, talented, and wise, and I hope she'll go a long way Q__Q
Her debut songs Into the Skies and Goodbye got me through some tough times and still really stir my emotions. Her new song's no different ;;
Here's the English version to her song "The End." The Korean version with the MV is here.
A Korean singer I deeply admire with the stage name Kris Leone came back with a new album last month that I snatched off iTunes as soon as it was available—before I had even heard it. Bah, I'm in love with all of her music. She debuted two years ago when she was 16'ish with songs that she wrote (in Korean and English) based off of experiences she's endured. She's so young, talented, and wise, and I hope she'll go a long way Q__Q
Her debut songs Into the Skies and Goodbye got me through some tough times and still really stir my emotions. Her new song's no different ;;
Here's the English version to her song "The End." The Korean version with the MV is here.
Where has it gone?
What have we done?
What kind of monsters have taken
All we worked for, all we've built?
...
But I guess it's just the end.
2 months, 1 week
In 2 months and a week, I'll be a college graduate.
Hold up, I need a moment.
hoooooooo lyyyyyyyyyy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ttttttttttttttttt
Frightening. Almost surreal. I take a brief glance into the face that is the dark, uncertain future--and more often than not, the moment is usurped by tears with no reigning purpose.
It's tough when you've got no plan, no self-confidence in ability, and no passionate drive for pursuit. Just. Don't know what to do. It's taken quite a toll on the past few months.
But I think I feel a little better now because I forced myself to try pursuing something that'd take place post-graduation and would make for a sufficient short-term plan if I get it. I've submitted an application to a huge internship opportunity that would have me working in LA/Hollywood for 8 weeks in the summer. (So much stress and effort since I found out about it only a week before the deadline and had to ask professors for a last minute letter of recommendation, order my official transcript, write a statement and cover letter, AND even spent my lunch break driving down to my university which is 20 minutes away from my workplace to pick stuff up... PHEW. Not to mention how I was hardly available during times mailing services are open. Somehow got everything submitted in time yesterday!)
Chances are, I have no chance in actually being chosen. But I needed to at least try out of ~regret prevention~. The peace of mind and knowing that I'm able to pull all this together in that short time is worth all the effort. ^^
I guess I also feel a little more reassured because of how my professors revered me in their letters and from writing the required statement. To do that, I needed to present myself as if I had purpose. I had to define a goal, even if it weren't true. And in doing that, I feel like I have the potential to have a goal. Maybe I wrote such a persuasive statement, that I'm nearly persuaded that it's truly how I think and feel? LOL.. Who knows?
I'm glad I took this first step in trying to pursue a post-graduation venture before graduation actually hit, because I think I'm a little less afraid now and less doubtful in my ability to move forward. Why is the real world so scary @______@;;;; I don't like ittt...
In other news, someone sprung up on me with a request to help with sound on their film shoot and I didn't want to turn it down, so I ended up spending more than 20 hours of my weekend on the shoot.... We were severely shorthanded, so I was One Girl Sound Team (both sound mixer and boom operator) as well as part-time member of lighting & grip.
but yeahhh uAu since I didn't have a weekend, and I spent all of it being overly physically active, I'm exhaausstedddd.... alllll of my muscles hurttt...... wants to sleep for 40 hours......
Hold up, I need a moment.
hoooooooo lyyyyyyyyyy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ttttttttttttttttt
Frightening. Almost surreal. I take a brief glance into the face that is the dark, uncertain future--and more often than not, the moment is usurped by tears with no reigning purpose.
It's tough when you've got no plan, no self-confidence in ability, and no passionate drive for pursuit. Just. Don't know what to do. It's taken quite a toll on the past few months.
But I think I feel a little better now because I forced myself to try pursuing something that'd take place post-graduation and would make for a sufficient short-term plan if I get it. I've submitted an application to a huge internship opportunity that would have me working in LA/Hollywood for 8 weeks in the summer. (So much stress and effort since I found out about it only a week before the deadline and had to ask professors for a last minute letter of recommendation, order my official transcript, write a statement and cover letter, AND even spent my lunch break driving down to my university which is 20 minutes away from my workplace to pick stuff up... PHEW. Not to mention how I was hardly available during times mailing services are open. Somehow got everything submitted in time yesterday!)
Chances are, I have no chance in actually being chosen. But I needed to at least try out of ~regret prevention~. The peace of mind and knowing that I'm able to pull all this together in that short time is worth all the effort. ^^
I guess I also feel a little more reassured because of how my professors revered me in their letters and from writing the required statement. To do that, I needed to present myself as if I had purpose. I had to define a goal, even if it weren't true. And in doing that, I feel like I have the potential to have a goal. Maybe I wrote such a persuasive statement, that I'm nearly persuaded that it's truly how I think and feel? LOL.. Who knows?
I'm glad I took this first step in trying to pursue a post-graduation venture before graduation actually hit, because I think I'm a little less afraid now and less doubtful in my ability to move forward. Why is the real world so scary @______@;;;; I don't like ittt...
In other news, someone sprung up on me with a request to help with sound on their film shoot and I didn't want to turn it down, so I ended up spending more than 20 hours of my weekend on the shoot.... We were severely shorthanded, so I was One Girl Sound Team (both sound mixer and boom operator) as well as part-time member of lighting & grip.
but yeahhh uAu since I didn't have a weekend, and I spent all of it being overly physically active, I'm exhaausstedddd.... alllll of my muscles hurttt...... wants to sleep for 40 hours......
Slam on
This is the one high point of my day, and an UPWARDS SOARIN', HEAVEN SHAKIN' ONE IT IS.
My bossman at work.... gave the whole finance department free chunks of salmon sashimi!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S BIGGER THAN MY FACE!!!
Thank you.
I would like to thank this salmon today.
This salmon is the real MVP. Or maybe bossman is. Salmon? Salmon.
I can't believe it.
I really, truly cannot believe it.
This is a dream don't wake me up lol
And then I became overly amused by the fact that I was taking crappy webcam pictures with a saran-wrapped plate of raw fish lmao.
My bossman at work.... gave the whole finance department free chunks of salmon sashimi!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S BIGGER THAN MY FACE!!!
Thank you.
I would like to thank this salmon today.
This salmon is the real MVP. Or maybe bossman is. Salmon? Salmon.
I really, truly cannot believe it.
This is a dream don't wake me up lol
And then I became overly amused by the fact that I was taking crappy webcam pictures with a saran-wrapped plate of raw fish lmao.
Transluscent
Oh, this icy, ethereal feeling.
Like I can breathe a bit again!!
The film festival is over, and my 20 hours of volunteering are done.
My frustrating, worrisome group presentation is over with.
And I'm finally officially no longer sick!
When I was really stressed out in January and realized that I would have school, work, and an internship this semester, I almost decided to not take the volunteering course. Volunteering at the film festival last year was frankly pretty life-changing for me, so I signed up again. After all, I've otherwise fulfilled all of my graduation requirements and I just needed the credits from any class. Plus, it's not an academically heavy class with a lot of homework. It made sense until it didn't make sense... But fuck, I'm glad I didn't drop the class because I knew it would be an unforgettable experience for me.
Ahahah I'm revisiting all of my blog posts from last year and the positive impact is crystal clear--how much the experience opened my eyes, nurtured my confidence, and even "made me outgoing for the first time."
- Evolution of a sloth
- TL;DR: I feel amazing
- Welcoming Spring
I'm happy to see how much I've grown just in the past year, and I can accredit the major trigger of the development to this film festival.
Maybe it's because I went in already knowing what to expect, but man, I was mostly fearless this year. All of that anxiety from last year? Pfff, old news. It's intimidating to be around strangers? Not a problem! Walking around downtown is scary and tiring? Whuddaya know, it's not so bad after all. Afraid of being incompetent? It's easy and people are forgiving; you got this! I can't get along with film people? Naw, bruh, you just gotta chill and try!
It's such a great and unique experience immersing myself in the film world, which is fascinating and--behind the scenes--intense.
And! volunteering forces me to confront social interaction. ^^ Which I hate...d. And now am sorta ambivalent about. Maybe it's okay. I don't know. I can't handle too much. But now I know that I can handle a decent amount!! Still far from extroversion though.
Like last year, I enjoyed doing ticket ushering when put on that task! I talked to hundreds of people! And it seemed like the managers trusted me a lot and approved of how I interacted with customers ^o^ Man, I'm really glad I do this to myself since I got to skip the working retail/customer service phase, and dove straight into a desk/cubicle job. It's like filling in the gaps in the swiss cheese of growing up. 8D
To be honest, when I realized that the end of the festival and my scheduled hours were approaching, I felt a tinge of sadness and longing?
But life moves on and now I'm feeling relieved by some stuff, feeling really fucking done with some stuff and some people ......... and so I'm fine. I'm happy that it's less stress on me and I get my evenings and weekends back. I'll try to volunteer again next year if my circumstances permit.
Otherwise... some chapters in my life are coming to an end. I think I'm probably sad somewhere, but have decided that I'm not going to care so that I don't feel sad. Numb, apathetic, a little spiteful. Tired. Don't take friends for granted.
~
Yanagi Nagi - Transluscent
I just fell in love with this song that Mimi showed me ;A;
Like I can breathe a bit again!!
The film festival is over, and my 20 hours of volunteering are done.
My frustrating, worrisome group presentation is over with.
And I'm finally officially no longer sick!
When I was really stressed out in January and realized that I would have school, work, and an internship this semester, I almost decided to not take the volunteering course. Volunteering at the film festival last year was frankly pretty life-changing for me, so I signed up again. After all, I've otherwise fulfilled all of my graduation requirements and I just needed the credits from any class. Plus, it's not an academically heavy class with a lot of homework. It made sense until it didn't make sense... But fuck, I'm glad I didn't drop the class because I knew it would be an unforgettable experience for me.
Ahahah I'm revisiting all of my blog posts from last year and the positive impact is crystal clear--how much the experience opened my eyes, nurtured my confidence, and even "made me outgoing for the first time."
- Evolution of a sloth
- TL;DR: I feel amazing
- Welcoming Spring
I'm happy to see how much I've grown just in the past year, and I can accredit the major trigger of the development to this film festival.
Maybe it's because I went in already knowing what to expect, but man, I was mostly fearless this year. All of that anxiety from last year? Pfff, old news. It's intimidating to be around strangers? Not a problem! Walking around downtown is scary and tiring? Whuddaya know, it's not so bad after all. Afraid of being incompetent? It's easy and people are forgiving; you got this! I can't get along with film people? Naw, bruh, you just gotta chill and try!
It's such a great and unique experience immersing myself in the film world, which is fascinating and--behind the scenes--intense.
And! volunteering forces me to confront social interaction. ^^ Which I hate...d. And now am sorta ambivalent about. Maybe it's okay. I don't know. I can't handle too much. But now I know that I can handle a decent amount!! Still far from extroversion though.
Like last year, I enjoyed doing ticket ushering when put on that task! I talked to hundreds of people! And it seemed like the managers trusted me a lot and approved of how I interacted with customers ^o^ Man, I'm really glad I do this to myself since I got to skip the working retail/customer service phase, and dove straight into a desk/cubicle job. It's like filling in the gaps in the swiss cheese of growing up. 8D
To be honest, when I realized that the end of the festival and my scheduled hours were approaching, I felt a tinge of sadness and longing?
But life moves on and now I'm feeling relieved by some stuff, feeling really fucking done with some stuff and some people ......... and so I'm fine. I'm happy that it's less stress on me and I get my evenings and weekends back. I'll try to volunteer again next year if my circumstances permit.
Otherwise... some chapters in my life are coming to an end. I think I'm probably sad somewhere, but have decided that I'm not going to care so that I don't feel sad. Numb, apathetic, a little spiteful. Tired. Don't take friends for granted.
~
Yanagi Nagi - Transluscent
I just fell in love with this song that Mimi showed me ;A;
Adam & Ev[a]'s Dilemma
Feels like it's been so long since I've been in a completed collab!! One that some lovely ladies and I recorded last year has recently been released. ;u; We're revisiting our roots by singing some Hello!Project again. The song is "Adam and Eve's Dilemma" by C-ute.
Chii organized a collab of C-ute's "Aitai Aitai Aitai Na," released in 2013, in which I sang the lines of Suzuki Airi, the group's lead vocalist. (I cannot listen to myself in that collab anymore, sorry..) Eheee and I got to reprise the role for this collab too, which is a huge honor~ I really like everyone in both these collabs♥
(For anyone who's already seen this video, Chii has updated it with annotations indicating when each person sings. ^^)
「アダムとイブのジレンマ」 コラボしてみた
tune & time: chishionrnr
mix: andoryunii
Chii organized a collab of C-ute's "Aitai Aitai Aitai Na," released in 2013, in which I sang the lines of Suzuki Airi, the group's lead vocalist. (I cannot listen to myself in that collab anymore, sorry..) Eheee and I got to reprise the role for this collab too, which is a huge honor~ I really like everyone in both these collabs♥
(For anyone who's already seen this video, Chii has updated it with annotations indicating when each person sings. ^^)
「アダムとイブのジレンマ」 コラボしてみた
Mika / mikayucha as Hagiwara Mai
Mong / mongtsatsa as Chisato Okai
Chiisana / ChiisanaChanx3 as Yajima Maimi
Chii / chiizuzu as Nakajima Saki
Eva / waterpixieva as Suzuki Airi
mix: andoryunii
~
My dilemma, aha...... Not quite a dilemma. Actually, I'm pretty happy. But I feel some senioritis and general laziness kicking in so I don't have much motivation and tire out easily.
These couple of weeks are pretty crazy though!
Still attending all of my classes. Group presentation next week. [Sometimes drifting off in lecture.]
Part time job as accounting assistant.
Internship at local cable TV studio.
Volunteering at film festival. [A short film I helped on is being played!]
Also doing some mixing for an overdue collab.. Got started on writing my 50 pages of screenplay due this semester..
And I see friend[s] at least once a week!
Oh and somehow I've been sick for over 2 weeks now LOL I don't even. But as long as the coughing and shit doesn't get in the way, it hasn't been bothering me much the past few days. :D Just, I'll be wearing like 4 layers and I'm still fucking cold. in California.
Tbh I'm really sleepy but I felt like writing a post would make me not feel like I'm going to bed without having been productive at all this evening. Because I did nothing productive after work and class qqqq
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