Synchronicity

I SHOULD REALLY GO PACK I'm probably gonna go to bed pretty soon after getting home from work tomorrow so that I can wake up at 4 AM BECAAAAUSE I'm flying out to Washington DC for a business trip!!!! Yoooo!!! I was traveling so much earlier this year that it felt weird to be stationary for a few months, but the adventure's back on! It's my first time going to DC and also my first time playing such a big role as I'll be the main editor for the video that's gonna be played on the last night of the event. ^^ A big test is waiting and I hope I ace it. (or else.)



While procrastinating on packing, I went back and mixed down a short thing that I recorded last summer and...prooobably won't be continuing. I love this song though! It's "Synchronicity" from Tsubasa Chronicle's OVA series, Tsubasa Tokyo Revelation and sung by Sakura's voice actress Makino Yui <333333 I love Tsubasa Chronicle, I love Makino Yui, I love suffering and angst (apparently).

(box ver.)

Gifted

QuQ.... I had a very positive performance review at work yesterday, and I'm really proud!!! It makes me so happy that my coworkers/bosses seem to love and appreciate me (and don't hesitate to let me know) and think that I add a lot of value to the company. ;u; One thing in particular that struck me though.... was when they said, "A lot of people can edit videos, but only a few are great at storytelling, and that's a gift that you have. You're a very gifted storyteller, while understanding exactly what kind of messaging and tone the client is looking for."

............ I've.... never in my life ever been called "gifted" before, I think.
That's a word that I genuinely believe I've never heard being used to describe me in my entire life, and it's something I always feared that I lacked. I've always had a ton of insecurity, being surrounded by my university classmates who were all much more passionate and knowledgeable about filmmaking than I was. Insecurity being surrounded by all of these talented youtaite who easily exceed me in technical skill and aesthetic, just making videos online as a hobby. In terms of technical skill especially, I know nearly nothing. All through college, I thought there was nothing special about me because there was nothing I particularly excelled at or was passionate about—I spent so many nights crying in worry that I wouldn't get an internship, wouldn't be hired, was far away from being able to imagine a career for myself, would always be a "pathetic, dependent failure."

Earlier this year, I was able to realize that it wasn't true that I have nothing special to bring to the table—that you're special just by being yourself (see Food for Thought: To Be Special Without Specialty). ;u; But now.... to be call gifted? The opposite side of the special spectrum?! ..I.. I'm gifted!?

Me..!?

Um, yes. I'd like to thank myself because I couldn't have achieved this crazy wonderful gift of a praise without myself and how I was myself for all these years by myself. Thanks.

i'm never gettin otter this kigu

I bought my first kigurumi!!! ㅠㅠ Kigus are freaking expensive, but I've been considering getting one for years and I needed a riajuu Halloween costume that's not my cosplays or Disney Princess costumes..... Plus it's soft and comfy and will keep me warm///

I liked sea otters before but omg after I went to the aquarium last month...... they've been holding my heart hostage. So fucking cute. And they're predators so they're fierce! And playful! They're just like mer-dogs Q___Q Ohhh, my heart.

Whistle~

LSO final results came out!!! Gemini finished tied for 3rd place (with MagiColle), and that's really amazing. ^^ I'm really glad our team members' hard work was recognized. It was crazy but a fun run, participating in my first youtaite community chorus battle. ;v; So proud of everyone!

I would normally feel quite empty, but.... I've..just been working almost nonstop and have more things on the horizon LOL. I just have good memories of LSO ^^



Firstly!! I've been really wanting to do a solo cover since this summer, and when BLACKPINK debuted, I had decided on their song Whistle. Right after the end of LSO round 2, I had tried to start recording but didn't get very far with my sore throat, which then developed into a cold. So now finally after LSO round 3 finished, I went right at it and have been working on this almost every night—learning the raps, recording, mixing, making the video. FINALLY I'M DONE YAY QUQ

So here is my solo cover of BLACKPINK's whistle! It was a fun song to do!


【Cover】 BLACKPINK - Whistle (휘파람) 【Eva】

Let's Not Be Robots

I'm sorry if you disagree, but we must think very differently if you do. I went to a big sales conference today and saw a big fancy keynote, and frankly I feel like the only thing I learned was that I was right in my beliefs. I never wanted to be a robot. I refuse to be a robot. Today I'm very glad that I stuck to my guns in choosing to pursue the creative media industry because it was the only thing I decided I "didn't hate" when I transitioned into college. I'm an art major—I'll never make a lot of money and will never become truly influential or universally acknowledged as successful—but I'm a proud lowly, poor employee of arts because I can't imagine having to live a life in which my job is unsatisfactory or meaningless or insincere, when just the bare action of living life is already hard. I know if I had forced myself, like others wanted, to pursue something my heart doesn't feel right in, I'd be fucking miserable. :/

And I don't mean anything to be a jab towards non-arts as a whole—people should pursue their passions, and however their hearts choose, that's awesome—but just I find certain aspects can be so messed up? And it's really not for me. I hate to sound so fragile as to be offended by a notion, but I'm honestly so offended that anyone can value "productivity" (tbh euphemism for "making more money") over....basic courtesy of customer service and socialization? You expect me to applaud you for using an application that saves a salesperson time by using pre-written generic email responses to customers? That pains me!!!

Shouldn't customer service be about genuinely listening to their needs and helping to guide them towards solutions and ensuring that they're happy, if it's a respectable relationship? Wouldn't sincere, basis-specific, personable, enjoyable interactions be more appropriate to drive a better business and social relationship? Wouldn't everyone be happier? And ultimately if you want to think profit, people will pay money for things and interactions that make them happy. Compared to a heartless quota, I think that's wiser and more admirable. I have to say that I'm really, really, really proud that the amazing people I work with value 'customer service' and 'fun' just as much as they do 'quality'—they inspire me—and hey, clients come back to work with us because they love collaborating with us and the results we create. And I'm not a miserable robot so that's pretty cool.
Anyway, I know better now what type of person I should strive to become ^^!

On the way back, we stopped by a museum store full of cool, interesting stuff and I made a purchase I'm super happy with tbh LOL.

Lenses that you clip onto your mobile device!!!!

Me: Woah, this is cool. But do they actually work lol

Coworker: Oh yeah those do work!! They're pretty cool!

Me: Really? WAIT THIS ENTIRE THING FOR 3 LENSES IS 10 BUCKS.

Me:

Me:

Me: I'M BUYING THIS.

It's super cool! And such a good deal! I almost feel like I ripped off the store. Next time I go back, I may feel compelled to give a donation to that museum LOLOLOL....

This is the wide lens—my favorite so far. <3 It's shocking how effective it is and it doesn't look bad! These two pictures were taken from the exact same position; all I did was snap, remove the clip from my phone, snap again.

Fisheye lens that I'm 99% certain will be utterly useless to me.

Macro lens for tiny things and that suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper ridiculously shallow depth of field!

On today's episode of Lovelyz Inspires and Heals Me

For the past 11 weeks, I've been following the show Girl Spirit, and it's been such a wonderful run that I'm sad to see these girls go. (We're promised more seasons to come but I'm expecting a different cast.) The show features the main vocalists of 12 girl groups that have yet to win #1 on a music show and gives them their own stage for exposure. I love all the girls—they're so talented and sweet—but without a doubt, my favorite would have been Kei even if Lovelyz weren't my favorite group. ♥ *___* She's so inspiring! Goddess! Such goals! She keeps challenging herself and improving with no end to her potential! With her pure angelic voice, you wouldn't expect the amount of depth she's able to harness. She sings with so much sincere emotion, and her natural personality is just always positive, warm, and bright.

Now that the show's over, I think I can say that her performance in episode 9 of "My Voice" and "If You Just Live" (both from the musical Seopyeonjae) is probably my favorite of hers, although all of her performances have been incredible. What an uphill climb from the first episode until this point..! Literally all of her performances are worth watching.

If you like girl groups, I would definitely recommend this show; but if not, this is the context. ^^ The theme of the episode is Thank You Song, and Kei has decided to dedicate her performance to her mother. "The lyrics really touched my heart. Whenever I wanted to give up, my mother always told me that time will solve it. So she told me to keep going without being disheartened."

With my limited Korean and varying translations, I can't be certain that I'm understanding the nuances accurately—but I love what I can feel of the essence of the song's meaning. I interpret the lyrics as saying... that as long as you push through and survive, you'll be okay and things will get better. If you just keep living and don't give up, you'll learn to able to truly live. ♥

Really, what an epic performance..! It's heartbreaking and empowering, like the warmth and comfort of a small, persistent flame when entrapped in ice. Kei looks fragile; but with how much strength she displays, how can you not find her admirable?

And if you're not touched yet!!!! The dancer is her older sister. She did the choreography and the stage setting! These talented siblings are performing together for their mother! It just makes the "motherly figure" that she's playing feel so much more real and heartwrenching. This stage feels like a musical and I love it ;__; Oh my god, how tearjerking is it when Kei sings the line, "Don't cry because you are alone," after her sister leaves the stage?



Speaking of tearjerking, the other show I've been following is Real Men's currently airing special (starting episode 172), which features male and female celebrities as they join the Navy and.... suffer... and suffer..... and continue to suffer. Wow. I don't think I would ever last in the Navy.

One of the cast members is Jisoo from Lovelyz, and I couldn't be fucking happier that she's on this show. I'm really glad that Lovelyz members are starting to have activities as individuals; it means they're finally being recognized as deserved. <3 Jisoo is especially underrated, and I believe this is Jisoo's first time being on a show by herself. She seems to have gotten a good response! There's a lot more support for her now, which is a beautiful thing. I'm glad it's this show too because she's been able to show how much of a strong spirit she has.

Episode 175 struck me especially hard, when they all had to make a 10 meter dive as training for abandon ship measures. You can watch Jisoo's cut here, but unfortunately it's not subbed.

Jisoo is afraid of water.... so watching her overcome this challenge was aslkfjsdfl Q___Q I was a choked up mess the first time. Among the 3 women who were afraid of water/heights, she was the first one to dive. She cries the entire time: before the jump, during it, afterwards. But even though she keeps crying harder and harder up there, she just grits her teeth, tries her best, and remembers to follow proper procedure. When the commander blows his whistle, she doesn't hesitate to shout, "Cadet Seo Ji Soo, ready to jump!" trying to sound confident even though her voice was cracking. Q_Q Or is that the sound of my heart cracking?

She then says that she misses her parents and the other Lovelyz members, before shouting, "I CAN DO IT!" And she conquers it!!! I'm so proud of her ;_; She makes me feel that I should try to be more fearless too.