Stumble and Fall

:D Basically the one recording thing I actually worked on during this winter break hehehehh. It's so short, but I started it before Christmas and only was able to finish a week ago orzz...

It's a cover of "Stumble and Fall" by Phoenix Ash, the j-rock-inspired band of which Fome/Sean is the lead vocalist. ;u; A little [belated] Christmas gift to Fome, who's a good friend I'd probably be more lost without.

I sang rock! Which is weird. Totally not my forte, if I even had one.
(Also mucho thanks to my buddy Kazou for doing a harmony guide for me since I'm harmonically deaf QuQ;;)




This is kind of an appropriate follow-up to my singing rock..... :'D Lately after work, I've been working on a demo reel to submit to organizations in my quest for an internship, which I need ASAP.. and is required for me to fucking graduate with my degree.. but that's another story. But yeah uwu I took a break the other night to finally try out the eyeliner that my raburii bestie Chiisana gave me for Christmas. First time drawing it like this~

..And then I was too lazy to do the other eye.
(And later was too lazy to clean it off UGHH this is why I'm super low maintenance and gross trololol)

Please excuse my unkempt state LOL.
I find makeup-no makeup comparison shots really interesting. It's color and it's enhancing or hiding, but it makes such a difference to one's features..!

The brand is K-Palette and I REAAALLY LIKE IT. I've been wanting to buy one of my own ever since I tried Chiisa's while we were at Anime Expo in July, preparing for a day out at con in cosplay. It's the only eyeliner I've ever experienced that didn't smudge even after a day of activity. Even though I tear up and blink a lot during the application due to sensitive eyes!! BLESSSSS. *^*)b

Suffocation

I'll be okay; I've already been feeling a lot better about everything. ^^
Not that any circumstances have changed. In the end, it comes down to your attitude and sometimes just.. shutting up and dealing with it.

What with all the stress, pressure, and nearly nonexistent relax time lately, I was feeling entrapped I suppose. Like juggling several bowling balls chained to your body. They will tangle and exhaust, but you're simply not allowed to drop any. Of course letting go is the solution to the weight, but there's no choice because necessity forces an inescapable momentum. On the one hand, it's as simple as dropping something you know this isn't the right time for--when personal advancement and fulfillment, priorities, experiences beneficial to future-building should take precedence. Because this is a crucial time in shaping your path. But it doesn't work like that. Is it holding me back? Yes, yet it's essential in other ways. And the mind knows that I'm lucky for what I have, that these are good circumstances even if stressful, despite not being relevant to what should be important right now. Regardless of what it is, it could feel fulfilling if only the heart found fulfillment and enjoyment in it. But it doesn't work like that. There's wishing I could quit. Knowing I should quit. Knowing I can't handle the consequences of quitting. Not having a choice in being prohibited from quitting. And my heart isn't in any of this stuff, beneficial to my advancement or not. Obligation obligation obligation.

Adding onto this is some loss of confidence and gnawing of regret and guilt that've been oh so plaguing me. In the small pond, I felt that I could do anything. In this larger world that I frankly can't say I genuinely care for, I don't know if I can even do anything or if I'm worth anything. And that's a shitty feeling that warranted the peeking head of some depression and expired attitudes I thought I'd buried. I do feel okay now! A few days in the dump but really you have to move on somehow. I just had to put myself again in a realm I care about, and see that despite the importance of larger things, they don't define me and don't tell all about me. Nobody's worthless after all :D

Overdose2.0

Yo ho, here's a quick second attempt I did at the rap in EXO-K's Overdose. Basically Sohly asked for the raw file of the recording I did back in July (WTF THIS HAPPENED HALF A YEAR AGO WTF??) and I couldn't find it and also thought it might be cool to see if I've improved, so redid it. :'D heheheheeh

[January 8th, 2015 version]

[July 14th, 2014 version]

I wanted to say that it's been a while since I recorded, but I actually have recorded one other thing over Winter break but it's not quite done yet..! But ugh wow, recording out of impulsive desire is so much fun. Wish I could do it more often ;v;

2015 New Year's Resolutions

Here we go again!! I can't believe I've been doing this every year since New Year's of 2009, when I was a sophomore in high school. And now I'm a semester away from graduating college. ;_;
Time sure is a sneaky one.

Tbh, 2014 was quite possibly the best year of my life so far. People tell me I'm completely different than who I was last year, and I agree--I like these changes and improvements. I'm finally somewhat'ish a functioning social creature of society who can speak and act confidently, be assertive, be sort of a leader, more fearlessly jump into things I've no experience in and most of the time, not fail miserably. I think. And I've finally come to accept growing up.

Anyway, I don't really have reservations about 2015. It's gonna be good.

100, let's go~

2014 Resolutions Review

Ermagerd, why do I do 100 resolutions every year was my first thought this year HAHAHAHHA shows how lazy I've become.

Still, it's nice to have these things to look back on and I want to stubbornly commit to them haha.
OKAY NOW LET'S SEE WHAT I HAD PLANNED LAST YEAR..

[2014 New Year's Resolutions]