I've Lost It Forever

I'm very particular with what I like—I want to appreciate literature but I haven't the patience to properly read, yet I love reading drama recaps which probably doesn't say much. But what I've been obsessed with for a while is the Chinese novel Lost You Forever which the amazing Koala has been translating on her blog. I've mentioned it before so won't repeat my impressions of the work. (But I can't resist talking about it again because I'VE FALLEN SO DEEP and I don't know of anyone else that reads it, and I'm too pussy to post comments, so I have no one to discuss it with!!! Q___Q Therefore I'm discussing it with myself. Publicly.)

Sure, I'm losing out on deliciously refined writing because they're fan translations and not perfect—but in its equally appetizing stead are intriguing, likable, complex characters; and layered, meaningful, and fascinating character interactions. THE CHARACTERS. AAAAAAAAH. I care about all of them and they do horrible things to me.

The novel is about the princess Xiao Yao's life (which at first encompasses being the male town doctor Xiao Liu) in which she doesn't want much but to settle down in simple, boring happiness. Unfortunately, being a princess of godly blood and having the epic ties that she has means that her dream won't cooperate easily. She has three suitors, all of whom Xiao Yao and I both love dearly. I'm hard-fastened on a ship, but y'know, even if it doesn't end up sailing, I wouldn't throw a fit because the other two guys are worthy too. ^^ There isn't a single chapter that I haven't enjoyed so far (okay okayyyy, apart from the 1st one eheheh), regardless of who Xiao Yao spends her time with or whether it's action-packed, of sweet romance, or of quiet lyrical simplicity.

(In the other post, I referred to her as Xiao Liu because I found it a rough transition back to her life as a female and surrounded by gods and royalty, but now I've embraced that she is both Xiao Yao and Xiao Liu—lazy, blunt, ungraceful, mischievous, stubborn, unambitious, smart, and lonely all the same.)

I should be careful not to spoil in case anyone plans to read it, so I won't reveal their identities—but the three men in Xiao Yao's life have struck me with pondrances about the different types of love, represented by each suitor.

The first being devotion. Maybe not the most exciting, but very sincere and persists.

The second being comfort. Someone who knows you really well and vice versa. You're glad just to be around them and can be whoever you'd like to be. Warm companionship.

The third being passion. Something fun, something that impacts you, something you miss—a bit like a soulmate. I'm reminded of the way someone described the character representing this—that his love and friendship with Xiao Yao would have no dependency on the circumstances. No matter how they met or how they were connected, they'd click as personalities and sparks would fly.

Which kind of love would you want?

Ultimately, I think I would want longlasting devotion, so it's no surprise that I'm such a stickler for the guy that represents it. He's so sweet, and I hope he can be happy whether this future includes a Xiao Yao in his arms or not. ;A;


Can I also mention that at work, I had to email a customer whose name coincidentally is Xiao Liu AND I TOTALLY SQUEEEEE'ed when I got a reply—

Longing Forever

Maybe they shouldn't have let this child out of her crib, for the taste of a world uncaged and curious now carries an emptiness of soul as a wondrously fastmoving world catches its breath. Solitude and familiarity once satisfactory becomes restlessness, longing, and ennui. Who knew that there were distances to delight in exploring and company to crave?

20, but crying.
20, and wanting to crawl.

Egghead

I guess I've been whining a lot lately about feeling lonely or restless and how I don't have many people to casually hang out with, so I'm happy I do have some cool tomodacheese and that I've been out of the house more lately. <3

On Saturday, I had a really fun day out with Myst, Kazou, and Dibur!
Myst I'm assuming most people know or have heard of by now. Kazou started hanging out with us last month and he's an adorable but extreemely tall (even to me..) Korean guy who has a gentle, charming, and controlled voice to fucking die for. He is king of ballads.

Dibur we met last week at karaoke, introduced to us by Fome who was also meeting us for the first time. Fome and Dibur are both fucking amazing, are part of rock bands, and can belt the roof off.

ANYHOW, we went to a sushi buffet! 8D

Then explored and loitered around the mall for a few hours, before we went over to Kazou's house, and that was really fun. ^^

asddjhjhkkf Kazou and Dibur are both talented-ass mothafreakin musical geniuses so at one point when they started having a jam session together, Myst and I kind of died. shhhhhh here's a clip sshhhhhh

(The song is Supercell's Yakusoku no Shiyou.)

Two purchases made, both of which I'm really happy with! ;u;

The first is this adorable necklace, which I couldn't resist. I mean. Keys. Bottles. Long chains. It....this baby was mine the moment I laid eyes on it.
I'm just a little worried about it breaking because it really is cork. :c

I'm keeping it in my little box along with my long glasses necklace and I just salkfjdlk so cute

My other purchase was a book, actually!
I don't have the attention span to do much reading, so this was a huge surprise. However, I really enjoy this because it's a treasure trove of witty and snarky poems. MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER.

This is exactly the shit I wish I could write.
Bo Burnham is kind of a genius.

I'm probably going to be obsessed with this book and its contents for quite a while.

I mean, there are pages like this.

And then there are pages like this. ♥
(I find this one personally moving and encouraging...)