Hoo boy, this year LOL. We're finally at the end of it.
It's strange because I have lots of moments when I feel like I'm being stagnant, but when I think back to the beginning of 2017, it........ feels like it was 2-3 years ago? SO MUCH happened this year. In hindsight, I grew a tremendous amount, took huge leaps in accomplishments, and have been steadily improving my skills and confidence. In October 2016, there were some things about which my bosses said, "I can imagine Eva doing ___ someday!" that became real by May this year. So that's pretty awesome!!
Emotionally and socially, I feel like I struggled more this year than in the past few years. I don't really know why. Also, this year I started being explicitly open about depression and thoughts related to death for the first time, so that is a step! I think it will be upwards from here. ;v;
Best Boy
Blublubbb a pretty unimportant post; I'm kind of rambling. Today, one of my bosses called me "the editing queen," which was cute, and then I went on to finish editing a video that I was pretty proud of! I thought about showing it to people or even maybe putting it on my professional profile... But giving it a watch-through, I realize that it's not necessarily impressive work? There's not really a point to showing it off? I feel that many people don't entirely understand what it is that I do as an editor, which I understand is not their fault at all. ;A; Contrary to what you'd expect, I don't have many technical strengths—but what I'm told that I do well is piecing together stories, telling people's messages cohesively and with pathos. Also being fairly quick(?) at sorting through footage, having a decent sense for selecting the best shots, and inserting them where fitting! These are not flashy skills, and they are skills that are usually not acknowledged... which is befitting since I've written tons of anxious posts here about not being sure that I was skilled at all? As it turns out, I guess I have the sort of skill that lies beneath the surface and is difficult to recognize. /o/ I tend to forget this a lot haha. But I do feel that it's hard to prove myself to anyone that doesn't know what I do on a close level, or to anyone that doesn't understand how video works..... It's a slope I'm still figuring out how to climb.
One thing I realized that I tend to forget to be proud of myself for is the fact that I'm a girl in this industry that's dominated by men and for challenging people's often sexist expectations. "Are you sure you want to go into this career path that's for guys? And requires physical work?" is something I was asked. I'm constantly hearing people say things like, the camera guy, the audio guy, the lighting guy—to which I've responded before, "Actually, I'm the audio guy." Surprise!!!
Some months ago, I was on a video shoot unrelated to work, for a parody sort of video with a bunch of my former uni classmates. I was on the lighting team, someone pointed out that I was the best boy (a position which means assistant to the head of lighting), and we laughed. They ended up crediting me on the video as something else that made equal sense, but in hindsight I wish I had told them seriously, "Yes, please actually credit me as best boy electric." The irony is delicious LOL!! It makes you think about the industry, which I hope learns better. Anyway today I will pat myself on the back for somewhat challenging sexism I think.
One thing I realized that I tend to forget to be proud of myself for is the fact that I'm a girl in this industry that's dominated by men and for challenging people's often sexist expectations. "Are you sure you want to go into this career path that's for guys? And requires physical work?" is something I was asked. I'm constantly hearing people say things like, the camera guy, the audio guy, the lighting guy—to which I've responded before, "Actually, I'm the audio guy." Surprise!!!
Some months ago, I was on a video shoot unrelated to work, for a parody sort of video with a bunch of my former uni classmates. I was on the lighting team, someone pointed out that I was the best boy (a position which means assistant to the head of lighting), and we laughed. They ended up crediting me on the video as something else that made equal sense, but in hindsight I wish I had told them seriously, "Yes, please actually credit me as best boy electric." The irony is delicious LOL!! It makes you think about the industry, which I hope learns better. Anyway today I will pat myself on the back for somewhat challenging sexism I think.
Some Personal Thoughts
Yesterday, Jonghyun from SHINee—an extremely talented and respected singer of a group I've loved since their debut 9 and a half years ago—passed away from suicide. It's heartbreaking; it's incredibly painful news that you've most likely heard about already. Aside from his music and breathtaking performances (and other achievements, the list goes on), I'm also grateful to him as he's now creating another legacy in sparking widespread discussion about depression and mental health. ;___; Rest in peace, Jonghyun.
I cried a shit ton; god it's like I'd lost control of my tearducts yesterday and they were leaking everywhere even when I wasn't really thinking about it. Honestly, I'm not fully at peace about it yet, but through this tragic experience, I feel like a part of me has been renewed or given a second chance.
Especially since I decided to distance myself from most social media and the articles related to it, I've spent a lot of time reflecting about myself.
As of today, I'm not sure that I would call myself a depressed person exactly? I'm much better than I was before...... In the past two months, I haven't struggled as much with my confidence! It is still difficult to pull myself out of bed—but this is usually a mixture of both physical and mental setbacks. I still find myself without goals. And I'm still constantly dreading, never looking forward to things, because I know that they're going to consume all of my energy and it's going to be hard. Sometimes, everything seems hard, even though literally nothing in my life is considered hardship at all. "Going forward" is something I never think about. But in general, I'm mostly okay I think...! I'm able to see the light in a lot of things. I'm always late, but I still show up, push through, and work hard. I reread the post I wrote in April which sums a lot of it up, and I can already see that I've improved since then! (I've definitely been implementing the three goals I set for myself ^^)
But I'm thinking about what I can do right now to take care of myself better. For starters, I want to stop thinking about myself in terms of accomplishments. I want to tell myself regularly that I "did well" even when I haven't done anything of glory. I want to remind myself constantly that there are things that others can do more easily than I can, just naturally because we are different, that it's not a matter of me lacking. I want to celebrate myself for making it through things and for accepting challenges, even if I may not have technically performed the greatest or even up to my self-projected standard.
I really hate that I had to learn it through this tragedy, but I think I have a new appreciation of life in a way. Not that I think I would ever be able to go through with attempting suicide, but... this is probably the first time I've been deeply affected by the consequences of suicide. And it's horrific. It's painful. I don't mean to say this with a negative connotation, but it is fundamentally a selfish act. And I realized that these consequences that I always thought somewhat lightly of...are of a weight I hope to never want to cast. There's nothing glorious about it. The escape isn't worth it. I wish so badly that he could have held on a little more, that he could have been helped better, that he could have received enough love that he could believe in, that he could have done anything—ANYTHING to take care of himself other than that. And so I want to hold on a little more, and when I'm stable enough to give more, I want to give love and help those that need it. I want to indulge in little happinesses as I search for more big happinesses. I want to make decisions to take care of myself, no matter what they may be, so that I never end up on that desperate route.
Today I want to tell myself that I haven't failed at anything. Things that haven't gone the way I wanted them to go...that's okay. Life is a big picture, and I'm the only one trashing easels over a minuscule smudge in the corner. I need to let things go.
Today I feel proud! Because I just survived a week full of challenges!! I worked on lots of projects, including physically-demanding shoots! Before all of it, I was overwhelmed just thinking about it, but I'm happy with myself that I chose to go through with it all because I saw them as good opportunities that I'd grow and learn from. It's fortunate that I was able to hang on to that optimism! Afterwards, I honestly felt guilty because while I didn't do badly, I'm also not...necessarily skilled? And I'm scared that I may have fallen short of expectations. But I'm realizing today that they were called challenges for a reason—because they were not things that I could do easily or comfortably, and the fact that I even fucking did them is amazing. It was worth how exhausted and sore I am; I gained a lot of experience from this past week! I'm amazing.
You are amazing. You are doing well. Thanks for sticking around. Thank you for surviving your struggles.Thank you for being you and for being under this sky right now with me. ♥
I cried a shit ton; god it's like I'd lost control of my tearducts yesterday and they were leaking everywhere even when I wasn't really thinking about it. Honestly, I'm not fully at peace about it yet, but through this tragic experience, I feel like a part of me has been renewed or given a second chance.
Especially since I decided to distance myself from most social media and the articles related to it, I've spent a lot of time reflecting about myself.
As of today, I'm not sure that I would call myself a depressed person exactly? I'm much better than I was before...... In the past two months, I haven't struggled as much with my confidence! It is still difficult to pull myself out of bed—but this is usually a mixture of both physical and mental setbacks. I still find myself without goals. And I'm still constantly dreading, never looking forward to things, because I know that they're going to consume all of my energy and it's going to be hard. Sometimes, everything seems hard, even though literally nothing in my life is considered hardship at all. "Going forward" is something I never think about. But in general, I'm mostly okay I think...! I'm able to see the light in a lot of things. I'm always late, but I still show up, push through, and work hard. I reread the post I wrote in April which sums a lot of it up, and I can already see that I've improved since then! (I've definitely been implementing the three goals I set for myself ^^)
But I'm thinking about what I can do right now to take care of myself better. For starters, I want to stop thinking about myself in terms of accomplishments. I want to tell myself regularly that I "did well" even when I haven't done anything of glory. I want to remind myself constantly that there are things that others can do more easily than I can, just naturally because we are different, that it's not a matter of me lacking. I want to celebrate myself for making it through things and for accepting challenges, even if I may not have technically performed the greatest or even up to my self-projected standard.
I really hate that I had to learn it through this tragedy, but I think I have a new appreciation of life in a way. Not that I think I would ever be able to go through with attempting suicide, but... this is probably the first time I've been deeply affected by the consequences of suicide. And it's horrific. It's painful. I don't mean to say this with a negative connotation, but it is fundamentally a selfish act. And I realized that these consequences that I always thought somewhat lightly of...are of a weight I hope to never want to cast. There's nothing glorious about it. The escape isn't worth it. I wish so badly that he could have held on a little more, that he could have been helped better, that he could have received enough love that he could believe in, that he could have done anything—ANYTHING to take care of himself other than that. And so I want to hold on a little more, and when I'm stable enough to give more, I want to give love and help those that need it. I want to indulge in little happinesses as I search for more big happinesses. I want to make decisions to take care of myself, no matter what they may be, so that I never end up on that desperate route.
Today I want to tell myself that I haven't failed at anything. Things that haven't gone the way I wanted them to go...that's okay. Life is a big picture, and I'm the only one trashing easels over a minuscule smudge in the corner. I need to let things go.
Today I feel proud! Because I just survived a week full of challenges!! I worked on lots of projects, including physically-demanding shoots! Before all of it, I was overwhelmed just thinking about it, but I'm happy with myself that I chose to go through with it all because I saw them as good opportunities that I'd grow and learn from. It's fortunate that I was able to hang on to that optimism! Afterwards, I honestly felt guilty because while I didn't do badly, I'm also not...necessarily skilled? And I'm scared that I may have fallen short of expectations. But I'm realizing today that they were called challenges for a reason—because they were not things that I could do easily or comfortably, and the fact that I even fucking did them is amazing. It was worth how exhausted and sore I am; I gained a lot of experience from this past week! I'm amazing.
You are amazing. You are doing well. Thanks for sticking around. Thank you for surviving your struggles.Thank you for being you and for being under this sky right now with me. ♥
idk too lazy to title
Hi hii..! I'm on a flight to DC for a business trip right now so I'm typing in Notes on my phone LOL. This trip is another of those science competitions with genius kids, where we film their activities for a week as well as an interview with each of them, and I edit a highlights video shown at the end. ^^ I'd say that these kinds of projects are some of my favorite and most fulfilling ones. Although it always means that I suffer sleepless nights editing away in my hotel room, it's always more than worth it when we see how the kids (and their proud parents) react upon watching it and realizing how incredible they are. Even better when there are comments on the videos by younger kids saying that they're inspired to enter these competitions themselves!! Q___Q And from a personal achievement standpoint, many times I'll rewatch some of these videos and still tear up.... I like to think that I pour as much heart into them as I can, and if I make myself tear up then I've succeeded LOL!
Recently, I had a pretty gross slump during which I lost confidence in....pretty much everything. It was really ugly. But I've been steadily climbing out of that hole for a week, so I think I'm okay now. I honestly felt so down about my singing and mixing ability, but I think I've overcome some of my doubts about mixing even though the reality is that I really do take a long ass time to work... @A@ Eventually I had somewhat of a breakthrough on mixing the k-pop collab I organized, which I'll be finishing up when I'm done traveling and uploading within November if everything goes right!
I've been pondering over blogging about this because I'm not quite certain about what's taboo to discuss as a professional, but it's probably fine haha... Even my company posted to our fb publicizing my promotion! ^^
Recently, I had a pretty gross slump during which I lost confidence in....pretty much everything. It was really ugly. But I've been steadily climbing out of that hole for a week, so I think I'm okay now. I honestly felt so down about my singing and mixing ability, but I think I've overcome some of my doubts about mixing even though the reality is that I really do take a long ass time to work... @A@ Eventually I had somewhat of a breakthrough on mixing the k-pop collab I organized, which I'll be finishing up when I'm done traveling and uploading within November if everything goes right!
I've been pondering over blogging about this because I'm not quite certain about what's taboo to discuss as a professional, but it's probably fine haha... Even my company posted to our fb publicizing my promotion! ^^
【A-L1】 Innocent x Haven 【Gemini】
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
0 comments Labels: #highlight, animation, covers (collab/chorus/groupdub), Gemini, mixing
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
It happened. Gemini came back for another chorus battle, one year after LSO ended. Our visuals crew from LSO all either had their own ACB groups already or were busy, so we've got new friends on visuals now ;o;)b They did amazing things!
And as usual, Gemini members split up the mixing work, with me on main mix and mastering. Aaaaaaah I have to say it was not easy—for any of us on the team for that matter; we were all busy with work and/or school or.. had to evacuate from a hurricane...... Okay, it was very rough. Thankfully there was a 24 hour grace period after the deadline, because we couldn't submit our entry until 19 hours past the deadline. @___@ And it was really nobody's fault in particular, because the video finished rendering at the same time I finished mixing. Or maybe it was my fault because I was the one doing the rendering (god bless fast work laptop) and I had to split my time between mixing and figuring out all the right plugins and assets. But still, that's really fucking embarrassing to me—that I was mixing up until about 18 hours past the deadline. I'm deeply disappointed in myself about that. The mix ended up sounding pretty good I think, thankfully!! I appreciate having been told that this might be my best mix and I want to be proud of that! And I don't know what I could have done differently that wouldn't have impacted others negatively unless we settled on a bad mix. It's not like I was mixing slowly or that I procrastinated? As soon as the vocals were passed to me, I mixed every night when I got home from work, until I slept sometime between 2 AM and 6 AM. On the weekends, I mixed literally all day long, with only two occasions I had already made plans to spend with friends. Sometimes I would sleep with an alarm set to go off in 3 or 4 hours. And on the day after the deadline, I wasn't even at the point where I was tweaking minor things—I was still mixing and trying to make things cohesive. Aaaaaaah stress and sadness. In conclusion, I suppose I'm just not meant to handle this sort of a timeline. Anyway, it'll take some time for me to recover, but I'm glad that we got an entry in after all!
[Edit: Two days later I just learned that we were the very last entry to submit...... iiii feeeeel soooooo baaaaaaadd screams]
Also, I animated a small section when I had some downtime at work last week. xD It's the shouting part at the bridge with the stage lights, which is... pretty simple but I had just learned how to use lights in After Effects for the first time for this!
Whining aside, here is our entry and please enjoy!!!
【A-L1】 Innocent x Haven 【Gemini】
- Please feel free to turn on/off CC for singers' names! -
Theme Interpretation: "What is bliss?" Take my hand and let’s find it together! Start with a smile and run with me - towards that Haven with an open heart.
MP3: https://goo.gl/AJ61dL
ACAPELLA: https://goo.gl/PFWakB
SCRIPT: https://goo.gl/7WTbh6
VISUAL RESOURCES: https://goo.gl/hhgFdb
Song: INNOCENT BIRD x SEVENTH HAVEN - Mashup
Inspired by: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDHj5...
Title: SEVENTH HAVEN
Artist: Tokyo 7th Sisters (セブンスシスターズ)
Composer: kz (livetune)
Title: INNOCENT BIRD
Artist: AZALEA
Lyrics: Aki Hata (畑亜貴)
Composer: Tetsushi Enami (江並哲志)
Arrangement: Tatsuya Kurauchi (倉内 達矢)
VOCALISTS
Eva - http://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Mimi - http://www.youtube.com/mimimoiselle
Ryan - http://www.youtube.com/RyanEatPho
小さな (chiisana) - http://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3
Jeffrey - https://www.youtube.com/jevacado
Jay - https://www.youtube.com/jaysingyou
MIXERS
Main Mix - Eva
Timing - Mimi
Tuning - Ryan
EQ - 小さな (chiisana)
ARTISTS
Concept and Design - pash & kane
Vocalist Sketch and Base Lines - pash - http://piikoarts.tumblr.com/
Coloring & Staff Art - kane - https://www.facebook.com/mprincekane
Line Art - Ange - https://twitter.com/qqnge
ANIMATORS
Sawヽ( ・∀・)ノ -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZc_...
小さな (chiisana)
Eva
- We now find our six protagonists in university, where they play whatever the heck games they want. -
It happened. Gemini came back for another chorus battle, one year after LSO ended. Our visuals crew from LSO all either had their own ACB groups already or were busy, so we've got new friends on visuals now ;o;)b They did amazing things!
And as usual, Gemini members split up the mixing work, with me on main mix and mastering. Aaaaaaah I have to say it was not easy—for any of us on the team for that matter; we were all busy with work and/or school or.. had to evacuate from a hurricane...... Okay, it was very rough. Thankfully there was a 24 hour grace period after the deadline, because we couldn't submit our entry until 19 hours past the deadline. @___@ And it was really nobody's fault in particular, because the video finished rendering at the same time I finished mixing. Or maybe it was my fault because I was the one doing the rendering (god bless fast work laptop) and I had to split my time between mixing and figuring out all the right plugins and assets. But still, that's really fucking embarrassing to me—that I was mixing up until about 18 hours past the deadline. I'm deeply disappointed in myself about that. The mix ended up sounding pretty good I think, thankfully!! I appreciate having been told that this might be my best mix and I want to be proud of that! And I don't know what I could have done differently that wouldn't have impacted others negatively unless we settled on a bad mix. It's not like I was mixing slowly or that I procrastinated? As soon as the vocals were passed to me, I mixed every night when I got home from work, until I slept sometime between 2 AM and 6 AM. On the weekends, I mixed literally all day long, with only two occasions I had already made plans to spend with friends. Sometimes I would sleep with an alarm set to go off in 3 or 4 hours. And on the day after the deadline, I wasn't even at the point where I was tweaking minor things—I was still mixing and trying to make things cohesive. Aaaaaaah stress and sadness. In conclusion, I suppose I'm just not meant to handle this sort of a timeline. Anyway, it'll take some time for me to recover, but I'm glad that we got an entry in after all!
[Edit: Two days later I just learned that we were the very last entry to submit...... iiii feeeeel soooooo baaaaaaadd screams]
Also, I animated a small section when I had some downtime at work last week. xD It's the shouting part at the bridge with the stage lights, which is... pretty simple but I had just learned how to use lights in After Effects for the first time for this!
Whining aside, here is our entry and please enjoy!!!
【A-L1】 Innocent x Haven 【Gemini】
- Please feel free to turn on/off CC for singers' names! -
Theme Interpretation: "What is bliss?" Take my hand and let’s find it together! Start with a smile and run with me - towards that Haven with an open heart.
MP3: https://goo.gl/AJ61dL
ACAPELLA: https://goo.gl/PFWakB
SCRIPT: https://goo.gl/7WTbh6
VISUAL RESOURCES: https://goo.gl/hhgFdb
Song: INNOCENT BIRD x SEVENTH HAVEN - Mashup
Inspired by: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDHj5...
Title: SEVENTH HAVEN
Artist: Tokyo 7th Sisters (セブンスシスターズ)
Composer: kz (livetune)
Title: INNOCENT BIRD
Artist: AZALEA
Lyrics: Aki Hata (畑亜貴)
Composer: Tetsushi Enami (江並哲志)
Arrangement: Tatsuya Kurauchi (倉内 達矢)
VOCALISTS
Eva - http://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Mimi - http://www.youtube.com/mimimoiselle
Ryan - http://www.youtube.com/RyanEatPho
小さな (chiisana) - http://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3
Jeffrey - https://www.youtube.com/jevacado
Jay - https://www.youtube.com/jaysingyou
MIXERS
Main Mix - Eva
Timing - Mimi
Tuning - Ryan
EQ - 小さな (chiisana)
ARTISTS
Concept and Design - pash & kane
Vocalist Sketch and Base Lines - pash - http://piikoarts.tumblr.com/
Coloring & Staff Art - kane - https://www.facebook.com/mprincekane
Line Art - Ange - https://twitter.com/qqnge
ANIMATORS
Sawヽ( ・∀・)ノ -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZc_...
小さな (chiisana)
Eva
- We now find our six protagonists in university, where they play whatever the heck games they want. -
Walküre (Macross Delta) Cosplay @ AX2017
With much delay (my procrastination), I'd like to share the pictures I got to take at AX this year during a mini shoot with friends~ I'm thankful that they invited me to shoot since I basically never do them, and thus I only have phone pictures and selfies to show for most of my cosplays haha. And ofc it was fun working with them ^^ This is the Mikumo costume that I sewed last year! This year, I broke combo and didn't have the time or inspiration to make a new costume. :/ Hopefully next year, the pieces will fit right.
Photography: Muramatsuri Photos
Freyja Cosplayer: Paprika Mari
Never
Yup, so now I've reverted back to only ever blogging when I have a new cover/collab to show haha. It's kinda tough when I spend most of my time at work, but I don't want to reveal too many work-related things here... Ummmm, for a few weeks I basically spent most of my waking free time working on mixing—which resulted in one new upload, yay! I still have another in the pipeline that I had planned to finish before mixing for Ascension CB consumed my life, but I'm doubtful that it'll work out.
Recent exciting happenings are that I went to KCON LA! This year went pretty well. ^^ The concerts were a lot of fun and luckily a huge improvement from last year, when we were only able to get the shittiest seats because they cut like 40% of the seats AND they didn't provide screens that were visible from the sides of the stadium. Huge improvement this year with the return of the 360 stage and 360 large screens! I also went to more fan engagements (fanmeetings) than in past years, which meant a lot of waiting in line, but I got to see a lot of my faves up closer than I'd probably ever see most of them in a concert. And I attended LDN Noise's amazing panel where they discussed their music production and even opened up their project of an EXO song and broke all of those intricate layers down for us! Freaking awesome. That panel lit up some fuel in me that immediately got to work on Never as soon as I arrived home from LA, redid the mastering, re-imagined some effects, and even recorded some extra layers and subtle adlibs.
In the order of the artist I was most excited about, to the artist that I was least excited about but still impressed me, these are the gods and goddesses I had the privilege of witnessing in song and dance this year:
NCT 127, Wanna One,
WJSN/Cosmic Girls, Oh My Girl, Seventeen,
SF9, Super Junior-D&E, Girl's Day,
Heize, KARD, GOT7,
Astro, Vixx, Kim Taewoo
They were all incredible!
Chiisana and I totally lost our shit when Wanna One surprised us by performing Never ;;;;
WHICH LEADS ME TO OUR DUET OF "NEVER," originally from Produce 101 season 2 but also has been rerecorded by Wanna One! This song especially means a lot to me because it was composed and written by Hui of Pentagon, which is one of my current favorite groups but is sadly a group that's painfully underrated and overlooked. ;A; They're full of talent, but there's not enough recognition or interest.. I think Never was their first breakthrough—and it may be a bit sad that Pentagon didn't perform in their first song that charted #1—but it brought a lot to their name, so I'm grateful that Hui got this wondrous opportunity!! And then went on to compose/write for Wanna One's big debut song >u<!!!
So yeah, please enjoy! It may not be the most polished mix, but I spent a lot of time on this. ;v; And it's been a while since Evasana's last duet, so I'm happy this pulled through.
【Cover】 PRODUCE 101 - NEVER (네버) 【Eva x 小さな】
We would like to dedicate this Evasana duet to:
♥ Wanna One, whom we had the honor of seeing last weekend at KCON LA!! We freaked the heck out when they performed this song ;u;
♥ Kim Jonghyun, whom we for sure thought we would be seeing this year at KCON LA. #justiceforjonghyun
♥ The underrated boys of Pentagon! Get them royalties, Hui~
Song: “NEVER” originally performed by 국민의 아들 for PRODUCE 101 Season 2
Composed by: Hui of Pentagon, Flow Blow
Lyrics: Hui, E’dawn, & Wooseok of Pentagon
Arrangement: Flow Blow
MP3: https://app.box.com/s/r5ktaeiioqhyb15...
Vocals:
小さな (chiisana) - http://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3
Eva - http://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Backing Vocals:
小さな (chiisana)
Mix:
Eva
Video:
小さな (chiisana)
Unofficial instrumental from Everysing and provided by kyungsoᄉo.
Thank you for watching!
Recent exciting happenings are that I went to KCON LA! This year went pretty well. ^^ The concerts were a lot of fun and luckily a huge improvement from last year, when we were only able to get the shittiest seats because they cut like 40% of the seats AND they didn't provide screens that were visible from the sides of the stadium. Huge improvement this year with the return of the 360 stage and 360 large screens! I also went to more fan engagements (fanmeetings) than in past years, which meant a lot of waiting in line, but I got to see a lot of my faves up closer than I'd probably ever see most of them in a concert. And I attended LDN Noise's amazing panel where they discussed their music production and even opened up their project of an EXO song and broke all of those intricate layers down for us! Freaking awesome. That panel lit up some fuel in me that immediately got to work on Never as soon as I arrived home from LA, redid the mastering, re-imagined some effects, and even recorded some extra layers and subtle adlibs.
In the order of the artist I was most excited about, to the artist that I was least excited about but still impressed me, these are the gods and goddesses I had the privilege of witnessing in song and dance this year:
NCT 127, Wanna One,
WJSN/Cosmic Girls, Oh My Girl, Seventeen,
SF9, Super Junior-D&E, Girl's Day,
Heize, KARD, GOT7,
Astro, Vixx, Kim Taewoo
They were all incredible!
Chiisana and I totally lost our shit when Wanna One surprised us by performing Never ;;;;
WHICH LEADS ME TO OUR DUET OF "NEVER," originally from Produce 101 season 2 but also has been rerecorded by Wanna One! This song especially means a lot to me because it was composed and written by Hui of Pentagon, which is one of my current favorite groups but is sadly a group that's painfully underrated and overlooked. ;A; They're full of talent, but there's not enough recognition or interest.. I think Never was their first breakthrough—and it may be a bit sad that Pentagon didn't perform in their first song that charted #1—but it brought a lot to their name, so I'm grateful that Hui got this wondrous opportunity!! And then went on to compose/write for Wanna One's big debut song >u<!!!
So yeah, please enjoy! It may not be the most polished mix, but I spent a lot of time on this. ;v; And it's been a while since Evasana's last duet, so I'm happy this pulled through.
【Cover】 PRODUCE 101 - NEVER (네버) 【Eva x 小さな】
We would like to dedicate this Evasana duet to:
♥ Wanna One, whom we had the honor of seeing last weekend at KCON LA!! We freaked the heck out when they performed this song ;u;
♥ Kim Jonghyun, whom we for sure thought we would be seeing this year at KCON LA. #justiceforjonghyun
♥ The underrated boys of Pentagon! Get them royalties, Hui~
Song: “NEVER” originally performed by 국민의 아들 for PRODUCE 101 Season 2
Composed by: Hui of Pentagon, Flow Blow
Lyrics: Hui, E’dawn, & Wooseok of Pentagon
Arrangement: Flow Blow
MP3: https://app.box.com/s/r5ktaeiioqhyb15...
Vocals:
小さな (chiisana) - http://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3
Eva - http://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Backing Vocals:
小さな (chiisana)
Mix:
Eva
Video:
小さな (chiisana)
Unofficial instrumental from Everysing and provided by kyungsoᄉo.
Thank you for watching!
Knew Day / DOUKEI
Putting in this post in retrospect since I can't seem to find posts where I linked them before:
Daydream Delinquents' R2 and R3 entries for Serendipity Chorus Battle 2~
I love these videos <3
= Credits =
■ Original: Knew Day by (k)now_name http://knowname.jp/
■ Vocals ■
Caspy (Ranger Red) https://www.youtube.com/user/DuranCloud
Hoon (Ranger Black) (https://twitter.com/hoonieeeee
Kanono (Ranger Yellow) https://www.youtube.com/c/kanonopuddle
Chiika (Ranger Pink) https://www.youtube.com/user/SymphonicTears
Eva (Ranger Green) https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpixieva
Kurin (Ranger Blue) https://www.youtube.com/user/xCleanlyKurin
■ Mix ■
Kanono
Tuning: Eva
■ Art ■
Shippa (poses) -no link requested-
xiao (sketch + lineart) https://twitter.com/xiaociiao
Chiika (color)
■ Animation ■
Shippa
~~~
Credits:
■ Vocals ■
Caspy https://www.youtube.com/user/DuranCloud
Hoon https://twitter.com/hoonieeeee
Kanono https://www.youtube.com/c/kanonopuddle
Chiika https://www.youtube.com/user/SymphonicTears
Eva https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpixieva
Kurin https://www.youtube.com/user/xCleanlyKurin
■ Arrange■
Kanono
■ Mix ■
Kanono
■ Art ■
xiao (sketch + lineart) https://twitter.com/xiaociiao
Chiika (color)
■ Animation ■
Shippa
Original
「憧憬～DOUKEI～｜BACK-ON」
Words：BACK-ON
Music：BACK-ON
Arrangement：BACK-ON
Movie：qomunelab co.,ltd.
Vocaloid Programming：out of survice
Vocal：IA ROCKS
Rap：TEEDA（BACK-ON）
Mikumo (Macross Delta) Cosplay @ AX2016
SO...... last year I started this post in an effort to update my blog more often and be transparent about my cosplay-making process—but of course I ditched, totally forgot about, and then procrastinated on it for a year. :'DDDDDDDD
Now to bring you the very unexciting conclusion to my Mikumo Guynemer (Macross Delta / "Bokura no Senjou" and "Fukakuteisei COSMIC MOVEMENT" outfit) cosplay journey.
The total of my spending from my progress post, including the wig, was $63.31... Crud, that's more than I hoped. D: And now that I've bought my own pair of boots (I'd borrowed Sophie's before but I plan to wear mine casually too), my total spending is $93.30. orzzzz
And then there's all the time and laborious nights I spent... I even worked out because I wanted flat abs.......
My cosplay turned out okay'ish though I think! It debuted at last year's Anime Expo and in most pictures, you can't tell what a ragtag bullshit mess sewing job I did!!!
Some WIP pics again:
And now I'm going to interrupt my own post here with a vlog break. Please enjoy "How [not] To Make Cosplay with Eva" presented by me. (It's extremely unhelpful and I'm a shit role model sorry—)
Anyway, here is how the cosplay turned out! Kudos to Myst and Himuro for helping me finish it on the rough final night when I couldn't stay awake, to Sophie for lending me boots, and to Fome for lending me his microphone and taking all the non-selfie pictures ^^
Now to bring you the very unexciting conclusion to my Mikumo Guynemer (Macross Delta / "Bokura no Senjou" and "Fukakuteisei COSMIC MOVEMENT" outfit) cosplay journey.
The total of my spending from my progress post, including the wig, was $63.31... Crud, that's more than I hoped. D: And now that I've bought my own pair of boots (I'd borrowed Sophie's before but I plan to wear mine casually too), my total spending is $93.30. orzzzz
And then there's all the time and laborious nights I spent... I even worked out because I wanted flat abs.......
My cosplay turned out okay'ish though I think! It debuted at last year's Anime Expo and in most pictures, you can't tell what a ragtag bullshit mess sewing job I did!!!
Some WIP pics again:
And now I'm going to interrupt my own post here with a vlog break. Please enjoy "How [not] To Make Cosplay with Eva" presented by me. (It's extremely unhelpful and I'm a shit role model sorry—)
Anyway, here is how the cosplay turned out! Kudos to Myst and Himuro for helping me finish it on the rough final night when I couldn't stay awake, to Sophie for lending me boots, and to Fome for lending me his microphone and taking all the non-selfie pictures ^^
24~
I totally forgot to do my annual Birthday Girl shirt mirror selfie this year LOL! I turned 24 earlier in May! This year, I thought it made sense that I became a year older—although the age 24 doesn't resonate with me yet. Since middle school, I've felt that I developed about 2 years behind my peers, but now maybe it's 1 year? :'D
A shame that I dyed my hair pink right after last year's birthday selfie, so now that it's appearing for the first time, there's not too much left of it haha.
This is my 10th year taking a birthday selfie!!!! I was 15 the first time!!
Palette
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
0 comments Labels: art/crafts, gross fangirlling, rambling but with slightly more thought, songs
Mimi gave me watercolor pencils for my birthday so I've been giving that a try even though I totally lack artistic and aesthetic skill haha. It's been a nice thing to do as I'm trying to rest when I'm not working.
Last Friday, I got back from a weeklong business trip to LA where I worked on videos that were shown before audiences of 2000+ people. ;u; That's huge—and so was the screen it played on... All of the footage was shot in 4K in order to be big enough. I was the on-site producer/sometimes camera op/sometimes director for a video that included high school finalists from the 78 countries that made it to the top of a science competition, which meant long days spent standing but it was fun and rewarding! Afterwards, I edited the video shown during the closing ceremony that summed up the kids' week and their awesome experience and achievements. ^^
The reward and being proud of the students aside, it was really exhausting. I still hadn't recovered from being previously tired, so I was in poor condition to work a taxing, stressful, little-sleep, nonstop week. ;; It was probably the physically and mentally crappiest I've felt in...I can't remember. Unfortunately I have a lot of work left these next two weeks, so I can't take a vacation, but I'm trying to rest when I'm off work at least.
This is my first piece (through which I found out I have no idea how watercolor works lolol) and kindergarten-doodle-lookin' practice from Saturday..
Today, I tried to draw a palette.
I've been obsessed with IU's new song "Palette" ;v; It's a song about being 25, but that's Korean age so even though I consider myself 24, I'm technically the same age as IU! There's something mystical about her music where it feels relatable even though you can't actually relate.
Yesterday, I watched IU's LieV, which is a live broadcast that airs Sunday nights in Korea designed to help one sleep in peace despite Monday blues. A celebrity (or multiple, but the effect is very different) carries out the show lying down on a bed, and they talk comfortably for an hour about whatever they want, while reading comments from fans. I love love love this concept! Certain ones I listen to regularly to fall asleep. ^^
IU's shed a lot of light on me as to what kind of person and musician she is, and I've so much newfound respect and love for her. <3 It's no wonder everybody admires her~ I could go on and on now about how pretty it is that she loves her music and is passionate about making music and writing lyrics that tell a story, and how down to earth she is especially considering her fame, and how awesomely candid she's become, and how thoughtful and talented and—oops I'm going on and on. She's amazing and there's much to be learned from/about her.
In her LieV, she discusses inspirations for her songwriting, especially for Palette. One of the things she did during her hiatus was take art lessons, although she claims to be bad at drawing haha. She said that rather than the painting, she had more interest in the paint palette—which one can think of as just a tool to make art, but she thinks that it can be considered artwork itself, with its variously pretty colors and endless possibilities.
She then relates the palette to herself and says, "Rather than painting each and every color to show you, I wanted to show you the palette that I am," which I thought was fascinating but didn't really understand. *^* I'm still trying to digest it, but right now this is my guess... I think one way she meant that was to say that while her songs are great and her repertoire has some diverse colors/genres, she wants to show that she—the songwriter behind the songs—is the true work of art. I think she wants people to understand her identity stripped of the veil the stardom, and the complexity of the work she puts into her music, how all those contrasting images are all a part of her, and how she's got endless possibilities.
Now I'm just geeking because nobody's stopping me from typing sorry!!! But she's so cool!! The song "Palette" is interesting because it's so IU-identity-centric and personal... It's brave and thoughtful. G-Dragon's rap part is a message to IU talking about how she's at the age where she's shining, how it's tough being not quite a child or an adult, and persuades her that she's beautiful and blooming. In the live performances, she does the rap herself while replacing some of the lyrics, but still addresses herself with a message. This song is really all about giving the audience a window into what she's like, her thoughts, her interests, how she's changed in the past few years, how she's accepted that people will hate or love her, how she feels like she's growing into her own skin. Ugh!!! How cool is she!!
In All Honesty
[ trigger warning: mention of suicidal ideology ]
...not to say that I'd ever shut it down, but I'm not sure what to do with my blog anymore. At a fairly often rate, I tell myself, "I should update my blog more!" but rarely anymore does anything strike me with, "I should blog about that!"
For most of my very long blogging career, I haven't really paid attention to or cared about who reads my blog or how many people follow my blog. I decided long ago that I blog for myself—to capture and chronicle me in moments in my life that I can look back upon, and as an expressive outlet—and it's a nice bonus to get to share it with anyone who might be interested in reading. But now that I don't even feel inspired to write... there rarely are moments that I wish to capture here anymore, and no longer as many thoughts that I'd like to share... it's sad. Since I don't feel motivated to blog for me, nor do I feel the need to blog for anybody else (not that I think anybody comes here anymore—and I wouldn't blame 'em), I end up not blogging. Which I think is not being true to myself.
Mmmm.....I wasn't sure if my recent thoughts should be shared, but here goes........ I'm hesitating. I'd paused and wondered if I should backspace, because being this truthful is pretty scary. The more "IRL" people find my online identity, the more I pressured I feel to hide. I wonder if I should stop talking about people and things around me—especially my job—even though they're part of my life chronicle. I don't want to show too many of my vulnerabilities that I was willing to be more transparent about back when I felt some sense of anonymity. Am I irresponsible when I reveal too much and will it make people think that perhaps I'm not the person they thought I was? It's scary. Please don't judge me for this!
I DID NOT DO THIS ON PURPOSE
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
(of course, now with this post, i've ruined the balance)
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
(of course, now with this post, i've ruined the balance)
Wimp / to the beginning
(There was no clever way to combine the two song titles...)
Man I suck at keeping my blog up to date haha. In the online covering sphere of things, I've been in two chorus battles but haven't been working so much on other projects recently.
I'm singing in Serendipity Chorus Battle in the group Daydream Delinquents and we did a fun rockin', rappin' BACK-ON song for round 1. :D I wasn't planning to join this CB, but it sounded like a nice opportunity to finally get to work with Chiika and Caspy who are old friends—and all of our other members turned out to be cool people too!
【Daydream Delinquents】 Wimp【SCB2-R1】
■ Vocals ■
Caspy https://www.youtube.com/user/DuranCloud
Hoon https://twitter.com/hoonieeeee
Kanono https://www.youtube.com/c/kanonopuddle
Chiika https://www.youtube.com/user/Symphoni...
Eva https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Kurin https://www.youtube.com/user/xCleanly...
■ Mix ■
Kanono
■ Art ■
Shippa (sketch) -no link requested-
xiao (lineart) https://twitter.com/xiaociiao
Chiika (color)
■ Animation ■
Shippa
And of course... OTO&ME CB came to a close a few days ago. I'm incredibly proud of having been one of the Revolutionary Girls Q_Q It was a great experience that I learned a lot from singing- and mixing-wise, and our entries are gorgeous in every way. This was the first CB I participated in that wasn't with my Gemini fam (we did DUBattle Royale 2011 and LSO 2016 together) so now that it's come to a close and the group probably won't be singing together anymore, I'm feeling a little regretful but ultimately honored.
【音&ME’16R3】to the beginning『Revolutionary Girls』
❤️️👭❤️️ Mix:
Eva (time)
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Fome (tune)
https://www.youtube.com/user/fome
crashtest (main mix)
https://www.youtube.com/user/redshift...
heartbreakerP (master)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo6J...
❤️️👭❤️️ Animation:
saint * ル季 (https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan)
Kuroko (https://www.youtube.com/user/backstag...)
❤️️👭❤️️ Art:
minty⁺ (http://twitter.com/furisou)
capu (https://www.twitter.com/capuworks)
tai (http://www.twitter.com/taiyouka_)
❤️️👭❤️️ Script: saint ♔
❤️️👭❤️️ vocalists //
saint ♔
https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan
minty⁺
https://www.youtube.com/user/furisou
mong
https://www.youtube.com/user/vamong
小さな
https://www.youtube.com/user/chiisana...
Eva
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Tsubame
https://www.youtube.com/c/TsubameAka
きむにゅ
https://www.youtube.com/user/azunyanHTT
❤️️👭❤️️ violin // Jobo (https://www.twitter.com/jobofish)
Man I suck at keeping my blog up to date haha. In the online covering sphere of things, I've been in two chorus battles but haven't been working so much on other projects recently.
I'm singing in Serendipity Chorus Battle in the group Daydream Delinquents and we did a fun rockin', rappin' BACK-ON song for round 1. :D I wasn't planning to join this CB, but it sounded like a nice opportunity to finally get to work with Chiika and Caspy who are old friends—and all of our other members turned out to be cool people too!
【Daydream Delinquents】 Wimp【SCB2-R1】
■ Vocals ■
Caspy https://www.youtube.com/user/DuranCloud
Hoon https://twitter.com/hoonieeeee
Kanono https://www.youtube.com/c/kanonopuddle
Chiika https://www.youtube.com/user/Symphoni...
Eva https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Kurin https://www.youtube.com/user/xCleanly...
■ Mix ■
Kanono
■ Art ■
Shippa (sketch) -no link requested-
xiao (lineart) https://twitter.com/xiaociiao
Chiika (color)
■ Animation ■
Shippa
And of course... OTO&ME CB came to a close a few days ago. I'm incredibly proud of having been one of the Revolutionary Girls Q_Q It was a great experience that I learned a lot from singing- and mixing-wise, and our entries are gorgeous in every way. This was the first CB I participated in that wasn't with my Gemini fam (we did DUBattle Royale 2011 and LSO 2016 together) so now that it's come to a close and the group probably won't be singing together anymore, I'm feeling a little regretful but ultimately honored.
【音&ME’16R3】to the beginning『Revolutionary Girls』
❤️️👭❤️️ Mix:
Eva (time)
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Fome (tune)
https://www.youtube.com/user/fome
crashtest (main mix)
https://www.youtube.com/user/redshift...
heartbreakerP (master)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo6J...
❤️️👭❤️️ Animation:
saint * ル季 (https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan)
Kuroko (https://www.youtube.com/user/backstag...)
❤️️👭❤️️ Art:
minty⁺ (http://twitter.com/furisou)
capu (https://www.twitter.com/capuworks)
tai (http://www.twitter.com/taiyouka_)
❤️️👭❤️️ Script: saint ♔
❤️️👭❤️️ vocalists //
saint ♔
https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan
minty⁺
https://www.youtube.com/user/furisou
mong
https://www.youtube.com/user/vamong
小さな
https://www.youtube.com/user/chiisana...
Eva
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Tsubame
https://www.youtube.com/c/TsubameAka
きむにゅ
https://www.youtube.com/user/azunyanHTT
❤️️👭❤️️ violin // Jobo (https://www.twitter.com/jobofish)
Onegai
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rambling
This is a very trivial post and it contains spoilers(?) for Sword Art Online season one LOL.
My tearducts are tired
I always mean to blog, but I don't know where to start. I keep feeling that I need a complete topic to discuss when I write, but right now I'm just going to jot down whatever comes to mind. Currently, I'm on a plane returning from a business trip and typing slowly..slowly...typo-riddenly...on my phone.
About two weeks ago, my grandpa passed away. I've fond memories of watching teletubbies with him, but we don't have many memories after he moved to a city 45 minutes away when I was in first grade. After I hit puberty, he stopped being able to recognize me—always thought I was my aunt—and with me becoming unconfident in my Chinese and him being hard of hearing, we never really bonded again. We weren't close enough that I truly miss his presence, but I hate that my family permanently lost such a big part of their lives... that my cute, nonchalant grandpa is really just gone forever. They loved him a lot and always took time to visit him despite the somewhat inconvenient distance. We weren't close and yet, I was so depressed and so emotional—but because of these other things that were related. I don't really want to talk about all of them, but I'll kind of talk about one.
My mom was being optimistic, I believe at least, when she said that grandpa seemed to have been bored for a while. Apparently, he'd been saying in his cute, nonchalant way, "Can't die yet, can't die yet..." (literal translation from Chinese), which actually carries the meaning of "Why can I not die yet, why can I not die yet..." Probably nobody thought too much of it since the tone of what he said is not so serious-sounding. I feel so terrible that he felt that way.
The day after, work colleagues started talking about their grandparents too. One had a grandfather whom everyone expected to leave not long after his wife did—they spent so much of their lives together—but to everyone's surprise, he went on to live another 16 years beyond her. He rebuilt his life without her; he took on new hobbies and activities. And he just found the purpose and love of life to keep living on each and every day. That's incredible.
Most people are afraid of death, and afraid of old age because it means looming death. I've always been really afraid of old age; I just hate knowing that one day, my body and mind are surely to fail me even more and that I'll have to rely on people just for basic everyday functions. I don't ever want to feel obsolete—that makes me insecure all the time.
But now I've realized that I'm also afraid of old age not because I'm afraid of no longer living—I'm afraid of living without purpose. Already at this age, I have days when I don't see a point in getting out of bed because I don't feel motivated...to exist. When I'm not sure that things are worth the effort, and I don't know that I have any real purpose, and I don't look forward to anything, and I don't feel like I'm having fun, and most things feel meaningless. That's frightening, because I can only imagine that this feeling will only grow more and more as I age, until one day it can consume me everyday. Then I'll say, "Why can I not die yet, why can I not die yet..." Anyway, that's that. I'm better now but that week, thinking about these things and my ineptness at living was depressing 8'D
So my business trip was to Washington DC to do on-site video editing for finalist week of a prestigious science competition for high schoolers. Similar to the middle school version I did in October. It was...pretty cray cray... We shot 42 interviews (22 of them I helped do audio recording on since there was nothing to edit yet) which I had to cut into a cohesive 5 minute video that tells the kids' story of this competition and what it means to them and how their projects will change the world. And then our crew would shoot all their activities throughout the days and once I got the footage each night, I had to sort through all of it and drop shots into the video... All of this was done in just a few days and the video had to be ready to be shown at the gala on the last day. I would send a draft to the client by 10 PM to review and then had to implement the changes by 10 AM.
These kids are incredibly amazing in every way. So much so that the grand prize winner took home $250,000. It was stressful and a huge mental struggle (editing is very much like putting together a puzzle), I was working up til 5-6 AM each night, got several bouts of both bloody noses and minor food poisoning; but ultimately I think being able to make these videos is one of my favorite parts of my job.
I love love love that I have the privilege of making something to honor these amazing, genius, righteous, hardworking kids that I hope will make them feel good about themselves and that will preserve their memories of the fun week that they had with the other finalists. I want them to treasure this video for the rest of their lives. I love that I get to try to tell their story—and I really do try with all my heart, which is why it's so hard deciding on the one thing that each student gets to say in the video. I want the world to realize how wonderful they are. Hopefully, other kids will watch these videos, learn about these opportunities, and be inspired to pursue science too. When I do these kinds of projects, I do feel that I've some purpose in the world, even though I end up feeling a bit like a ghost that vicariously experiences the kids' fun and bonding sadly without actually getting to spend any time with them, boooo. It was difficult, but in the end, I feel good about this trip.
Initially, I had planned to stay an extra day in DC afterwards to check out the city and fly back on the 16th.... When my grandpa's funeral was decided to be on the 16th (I was so scared it'd happen during my trip), I changed my flight to come back on the 15th (today) instead.
Last night, I was up until 3 AM because of picking up the gala footage and transferring it... I was supposed to wake up at 5:30 AM. I overslept and missed my flight... I don't know if it's my phone's fault, or if I really slept through 4 rounds of alarms even though I woke up to my coworker's call... but I was so so so upset, stressed out, and angry.......... This is a huge mistake I'm deeply embarrassed about. So I made a call to the airline and LUCKILY was able to reschedule for another flight on the same day although it's costly. ;; I cried through the entire call because I was so afraid that I would miss my grandpa's funeral.
My grandpa was apparently just fine, then suddenly hospitalized, and he passed away 3 days later. Unfortunately, since it happened so quickly and unpredictably, I didn't have a chance to visit him. Can you imagine...if even after I changed my flight once already, I still missed the chance to see him and say goodbye one last time? I wouldn't be able to live with myself; I'd regret it and be haunted by it forever... >< That was fucking stressful. I'm still upset that this happened and that I may have almost missed the funeral. I cried a lot at the airport. Honestly, this I'm not entirely recovered from yet and I'm sure tomorrow's funeral is going to break me even further. I'm thankful that I will make it there, but I don't look forward to it.
So my business trip was to Washington DC to do on-site video editing for finalist week of a prestigious science competition for high schoolers. Similar to the middle school version I did in October. It was...pretty cray cray... We shot 42 interviews (22 of them I helped do audio recording on since there was nothing to edit yet) which I had to cut into a cohesive 5 minute video that tells the kids' story of this competition and what it means to them and how their projects will change the world. And then our crew would shoot all their activities throughout the days and once I got the footage each night, I had to sort through all of it and drop shots into the video... All of this was done in just a few days and the video had to be ready to be shown at the gala on the last day. I would send a draft to the client by 10 PM to review and then had to implement the changes by 10 AM.
These kids are incredibly amazing in every way. So much so that the grand prize winner took home $250,000. It was stressful and a huge mental struggle (editing is very much like putting together a puzzle), I was working up til 5-6 AM each night, got several bouts of both bloody noses and minor food poisoning; but ultimately I think being able to make these videos is one of my favorite parts of my job.
I love love love that I have the privilege of making something to honor these amazing, genius, righteous, hardworking kids that I hope will make them feel good about themselves and that will preserve their memories of the fun week that they had with the other finalists. I want them to treasure this video for the rest of their lives. I love that I get to try to tell their story—and I really do try with all my heart, which is why it's so hard deciding on the one thing that each student gets to say in the video. I want the world to realize how wonderful they are. Hopefully, other kids will watch these videos, learn about these opportunities, and be inspired to pursue science too. When I do these kinds of projects, I do feel that I've some purpose in the world, even though I end up feeling a bit like a ghost that vicariously experiences the kids' fun and bonding sadly without actually getting to spend any time with them, boooo. It was difficult, but in the end, I feel good about this trip.
Initially, I had planned to stay an extra day in DC afterwards to check out the city and fly back on the 16th.... When my grandpa's funeral was decided to be on the 16th (I was so scared it'd happen during my trip), I changed my flight to come back on the 15th (today) instead.
Last night, I was up until 3 AM because of picking up the gala footage and transferring it... I was supposed to wake up at 5:30 AM. I overslept and missed my flight... I don't know if it's my phone's fault, or if I really slept through 4 rounds of alarms even though I woke up to my coworker's call... but I was so so so upset, stressed out, and angry.......... This is a huge mistake I'm deeply embarrassed about. So I made a call to the airline and LUCKILY was able to reschedule for another flight on the same day although it's costly. ;; I cried through the entire call because I was so afraid that I would miss my grandpa's funeral.
My grandpa was apparently just fine, then suddenly hospitalized, and he passed away 3 days later. Unfortunately, since it happened so quickly and unpredictably, I didn't have a chance to visit him. Can you imagine...if even after I changed my flight once already, I still missed the chance to see him and say goodbye one last time? I wouldn't be able to live with myself; I'd regret it and be haunted by it forever... >< That was fucking stressful. I'm still upset that this happened and that I may have almost missed the funeral. I cried a lot at the airport. Honestly, this I'm not entirely recovered from yet and I'm sure tomorrow's funeral is going to break me even further. I'm thankful that I will make it there, but I don't look forward to it.
B1A4 Concert!!
(Not so much a fan account, but more about my personal experience!)
Yesterday was B1A4's concert was in San Francisco ^o^ Myst and I both went as VIP so got to be in the front pit and participate in the hi touch (high five) event!!!
Honestly, I think the concert was the most unreserved fun I've had in a long time. Which is both a testament to how great of a concert it was and how little fun I have in my life.
The boys put on impressive performances, delivering solid dancing and singing (esp Sandeul belting my god!!!!) with incredible endurance. ;u; They were visibly tired but kept going and delivering and were full of energy til the end! But I think what was really special was that they put a lot of care into making sure that the audience had a fun, engaged experience. We weren't just watching them perform; we were constantly interacting and encouraged to respond. For most of the concert, it was a lot of asking us to sing along, scream, put our hands up, wave and pump our arms, jump while they were performing.
Then what confused me was when we got to a song that didn't include much of them singing or dancing? It was.....intense clubby music? The boys were all jumping and hyping us up, and we were all jumping too, AND THEN THEY STARTED EMPTYING THEIR WATER BOTTLES....ONTO THE AUDIENCE. Water! spraying! everywhere!!! It felt like a rave?! (We found out afterwards that it was a song remixed by Jinyoung LOLLLLL)
At that point, it was no longer just a B1A4 performance—it was B1A4 members constructing an environment in which we fans could let loose and have a good time! I really think that they didn't want any of us to just stand or sit idly, didn't want us to just be absorbed in taking pics/videos on our phones, didn't want us to just be observers. I appreciated that a lot ^^
I don't really ever get (or pursue) opportunities to just let go and let my body move and just have unreserved fun... I refuse to dance because I'm bad at it and I don't like how my awkward body looks when moving around, and I just get consumed by self-consciousness and the judging eyes of other people. The dance floor is place of anxiety for my party-poopin' ass.
But at the concert, I felt...safe? An unfamiliar feeling of few inhibitions and not needing to care about what I looked like or what anyone thought of me. All I had to do was jump and wave my arms, all I had to respond to was the beat of the music, and the entire audience was in it together to show our support for B1A4 who wanted to give back to us ;A; It was a great stress relief HAHA.
During their encore, they came out with crates of water bottles and WENT HAM. "San Francisco, are you tired?!?! Are you ready to shower?????!!?!?!!" were the words they'd fill the room with before repeating the chorus of Good Timing over.. and over.. and over.. and DRENCHING us with water and love LOL. Objectively, I know they went overboard and probably shouldn't have, but... I ultimately didn't have any problem with it and just enjoyed it. ;v;! At first, I did my best to avoid the water because of protective reflex—I'd flinch and duck, cover my face, and clean off my glasses as soon as I could. But then I zoned out for a moment and thought about it......... and concluded that I didn't have any reason to avoid the water? Unlike many fans in the front, I didn't have my phone out trying to get recordings. I didn't have a face full of make-up to worry about. My hair doesn't get frizzy. All of my belongings were covered because I was expecting rain. I wasn't sick, wasn't feeling cold. Why be afraid?
So from then on, I kept my head up and just smiled and laughed like what B1A4 would probably have wanted to see from us. Was so soaked!!! It's such a small change, but I was very happy and proud that I chose to let go and embrace the fun, messy, in-the-moment thing, instead of clinging to the pragmatic route as I always do. In the end, I had no personal qualms about the downpour and surprised myself by how much I enjoyed it. ;U;
Oh and they just absolutely spoil us with fanservice. <3 It warms my heart remembering all of their sincere gestures, and how they were constantly waving to fans all over the venue, giving us endless finger hearts, making eye contact if possible (I swear I made eye contact with CNU for a moment), posing with fans' banners and headbands, reminding us that we were loved and appreciated. This is the kind of memory that's going to make me smile each time it crosses my mind.
Here's B1A4's newest song, A Lie, composed by leader and my bias Jinyoung~ On first listen, I was rather lukewarm, but it consistently grew on me and now I'M SO EMOTIONAL OVER THIS SONG. (If you're new to their music, their songs tend to land on very opposite sides of the melancholic-silly spectrum haha. Solo Day is a jam!)
A post unrelated to valentines
Heyyo, feels like I haven't been here in a while. Life's been more on the ordinary side after the cray cray from the past two months—which is great because I needed to wind down but also leaves me without much to blog about even though I have the time to HAHA!
For the first time in a while, I've had time to watch shows and dramas again *A* I'm on episode 10 of 14 of the drama Goblin—which I would def recommend for its unexpectedly hilarious dry humor and not so much its slow, strange love story. Also watched Law of the Jungle for the first time and just finished the recent season/special (eps 247 - 251) with WJSN's Cheng Xiao, BTS' Jin, actor Gong Myung, and other celebs that must survive with little resources on uninhabited islands; and at one point, even a floating wooden structure in the middle of the ocean. I enjoyed the watch ;v; perhaps because I already was fond of some of the cast, but they all had a cute dynamic as a family. A clueless, oftentimes cowardly, but sweet and fun family. Just a warning though: this show made me crave seafood so badly that I couldn't go on without satisfying it, and even convinced me that scuba diving in coral reefs looks fun LOL.
Also work became much more lax (thank god) and after a couple more bumpy days following the trip, it's now going smoothly and pretty chill.
I've been killing two birds with one stone lately by practicing with After Effects! Currently, I work as mostly a video editor, but my job has been encouraging me to learn motion graphics and we all got paid membership on a training/tutorial site. Sooooo, time spent watching tutorials and practicing with the program can be considered as time spent for work and beneficial for developing my professional skills as a post-production asset for my company 8'D............
And what better way to practice animating than to animate a video for a singing collab that I'm organizing, right? I used to make videos for Gemini using Sony Vegas before I "quit" "animating," so this'll be my first youtube video using AE!! It's pretty noob and I have a terrible sense of aesthetic, but I hope it'll be okay. O^O I'm mixing too, and it's k-pop so that'll be fun.
Speaking of mixing, I forgot to post Revolutionary Girls' round 2 OCB entry... Rather than being the main mixer like in round 1, we shifted roles and now I'm doing timing only. As always, I love this team and our entry turned out awesome~
【音&ME’16R2】 Brand-new World 『Revolutionary Girls』
🌏✨Mix:
Eva (time)
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Fome (tune)
https://www.youtube.com/user/fome
crashtest (main mix)
https://www.youtube.com/user/redshift...
heartbreakerP (master)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo6J...
🌏✨Animation: saint * ル季 (https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan)
🌏✨Art:
minty⁺ (http://twitter.com/furisou)
capu (https://www.twitter.com/capuworks)
tai (http://www.twitter.com/taiyouka_)
🌏✨Script: saint ♔
🌏✨ vocalists //
saint ♔
https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan
minty⁺
https://www.youtube.com/user/furisou
mong
https://www.youtube.com/user/vamong
小さな
https://www.youtube.com/user/chiisana...
Eva
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Tsubame
https://www.youtube.com/c/TsubameAka
きむにゅ
https://www.youtube.com/user/azunyanHTT
For the first time in a while, I've had time to watch shows and dramas again *A* I'm on episode 10 of 14 of the drama Goblin—which I would def recommend for its unexpectedly hilarious dry humor and not so much its slow, strange love story. Also watched Law of the Jungle for the first time and just finished the recent season/special (eps 247 - 251) with WJSN's Cheng Xiao, BTS' Jin, actor Gong Myung, and other celebs that must survive with little resources on uninhabited islands; and at one point, even a floating wooden structure in the middle of the ocean. I enjoyed the watch ;v; perhaps because I already was fond of some of the cast, but they all had a cute dynamic as a family. A clueless, oftentimes cowardly, but sweet and fun family. Just a warning though: this show made me crave seafood so badly that I couldn't go on without satisfying it, and even convinced me that scuba diving in coral reefs looks fun LOL.
Also work became much more lax (thank god) and after a couple more bumpy days following the trip, it's now going smoothly and pretty chill.
I've been killing two birds with one stone lately by practicing with After Effects! Currently, I work as mostly a video editor, but my job has been encouraging me to learn motion graphics and we all got paid membership on a training/tutorial site. Sooooo, time spent watching tutorials and practicing with the program can be considered as time spent for work and beneficial for developing my professional skills as a post-production asset for my company 8'D............
And what better way to practice animating than to animate a video for a singing collab that I'm organizing, right? I used to make videos for Gemini using Sony Vegas before I "quit" "animating," so this'll be my first youtube video using AE!! It's pretty noob and I have a terrible sense of aesthetic, but I hope it'll be okay. O^O I'm mixing too, and it's k-pop so that'll be fun.
Speaking of mixing, I forgot to post Revolutionary Girls' round 2 OCB entry... Rather than being the main mixer like in round 1, we shifted roles and now I'm doing timing only. As always, I love this team and our entry turned out awesome~
【音&ME’16R2】 Brand-new World 『Revolutionary Girls』
🌏✨Mix:
Eva (time)
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Fome (tune)
https://www.youtube.com/user/fome
crashtest (main mix)
https://www.youtube.com/user/redshift...
heartbreakerP (master)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo6J...
🌏✨Animation: saint * ル季 (https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan)
🌏✨Art:
minty⁺ (http://twitter.com/furisou)
capu (https://www.twitter.com/capuworks)
tai (http://www.twitter.com/taiyouka_)
🌏✨Script: saint ♔
🌏✨ vocalists //
saint ♔
https://www.youtube.com/user/xKouchan
minty⁺
https://www.youtube.com/user/furisou
mong
https://www.youtube.com/user/vamong
小さな
https://www.youtube.com/user/chiisana...
Eva
https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix...
Tsubame
https://www.youtube.com/c/TsubameAka
きむにゅ
https://www.youtube.com/user/azunyanHTT
MARSHMALLOWS
Oh my god, I barely survived that last business trip. I hadn't fully recovered from that really horrible project I was on for weeks that was stress and constantly working overtime and even working some weekends (on New Year's) when I transitioned to working to get everything done in time for us to leave to the conference. And then the conference itself was stressful and......I think probably the most physically tired I've ever been in my life. After my coworker's medical emergency that I mentioned in my last post, she spent the following day resting in her hotel room while I covered all of the errands. And by the end of the day, my calves were so sick of functioning that I was limping???? I don't know if I've ever felt so sore before in my life. And the day after, I had to get up 2 hours earlier than I was supposed to, because of crazy last minute requests and my coworkers weren't awake yet o<-<
Anyway, I got home yesterday at 3:30 PM, went straight to bed, and slept from 5:30 PM until 9:30 AM HAHAHAHA. Today was a great day!!!!
Speaking of great things, some Gemini members and Curry's friends sang a little adorable chorus for Curry's birthday! She was one of Gemini's lovely animators during LSO and overall a wonderful person<3 I'm never getting over this art HAHA.
Singers (in solo appearance):
Sandiru: https://www.youtube.com/user/sandrabbity
ライ-チャ laicha: https://www.youtube.com/user/laichachan
SaFLOWERku: https://www.youtube.com/user/SakuChannx3
OdinFEMALESIGN: https://www.youtube.com/user/G3NoNaka
Someguyidk
Eva: https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpixieva
Ryan: https://www.youtube.com/user/RyanEatPho
Mimi: https://www.youtube.com/mimimoiselle
Chiisana: https://www.youtube.com/user/Chiisana...
Art:
Odin
Azure: http://reachintothesky.tumblr.com
PV:
Odin
Mix:
suponjiii
Original Credits
Title: 青春は残酷じゃない / Seishun wa Zankoku ja nai
Original Singer: 花江 夏樹 / Hanae Natsuki
Anyway, I got home yesterday at 3:30 PM, went straight to bed, and slept from 5:30 PM until 9:30 AM HAHAHAHA. Today was a great day!!!!
Speaking of great things, some Gemini members and Curry's friends sang a little adorable chorus for Curry's birthday! She was one of Gemini's lovely animators during LSO and overall a wonderful person<3 I'm never getting over this art HAHA.
Singers (in solo appearance):
Sandiru: https://www.youtube.com/user/sandrabbity
ライ-チャ laicha: https://www.youtube.com/user/laichachan
SaFLOWERku: https://www.youtube.com/user/SakuChannx3
OdinFEMALESIGN: https://www.youtube.com/user/G3NoNaka
Someguyidk
Eva: https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpixieva
Ryan: https://www.youtube.com/user/RyanEatPho
Mimi: https://www.youtube.com/mimimoiselle
Chiisana: https://www.youtube.com/user/Chiisana...
Art:
Odin
Azure: http://reachintothesky.tumblr.com
PV:
Odin
Mix:
suponjiii
Original Credits
Title: 青春は残酷じゃない / Seishun wa Zankoku ja nai
Original Singer: 花江 夏樹 / Hanae Natsuki
Holy SHIT THE AMOUNT OF CRAY CRAY THAT HAPPENED TODAY. So I'm on a business trip right now as the assistant/runner for support staff that are producing presentations/keynotes at a conference. My coworker and I are sharing the responsibility of running around everywhere making footage and hard drive retrievals and deliveries, but we've also picked up a ton of other tasks like food deliveries and coordinating print outs and signs and just.. so many things. We were constantly running from end to end of the huge convention center, to separate hotels, all around downtown...
Today was just a lovely pattern of setback after setback, misunderstandings, nonresponsive people, tooooonssssssss of walking, SO many ridiculous last minute requests that should not be my job, something coming up every time I think I'm done with work, JUST. EVERYTHING GOING WRONG IF IT CAN. SCREAMS.
And the cherry on top.... I was about to leave the convention center today--it was kind of late so I was hoping the catch rhe tail end of crew dinner—when my boss asks if I'm still there and if I can go talk to the on-site medical office because....my coworker whom I've been running around with .. is having a medical emergency. And god I feel so bad for her. Our jobs have been tough the past two days. We spent the next 3 hours of our lives revolved around that medical office..... Of course, I was doing work the whole time because more stuff came up orz This is insanity.
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