I Wish ♥♥♥

Ahhh, where do I even start... I can't remember the last time I was this happy and satisfied with my life. ;u; Not sure why but I feel like I'm more in tune with myself than ever. I can't remember if I ever felt like, "Wow I am a healthy person!" the way I do now. It's probably good luck and good timing that a combination of things has led me to this, and I hope I don't take it for granted haha. I feel worry-free, I feel proud, I feel confident and self-empowered, I feel loved, and I feel like I have things I enjoy and look forward to. It's crazy.

So let's start with my I Wish collab, because I feel that it was likely a trigger in all of this... In my last post, I said my confidence in mixing took a nosedive, so I was pretty scared about getting back into this mix. ;A; But as I did, I realized that I really didn't hate the mix...? All I remembered was my dissatisfaction and struggle with it, so I had low expectations, but honestly I hadn't done a bad job at all...? So I spent about 5 days working on it more, took advice, redid the mastering, improved it, and just kind of threw in the towel when I was riding up against my self-determined deadline for the evening before Valentine's LOL. I'd say considering my current ability, I'm about 95% satisfied with the mix, which is pretty amazing!!!!!! There was so much frustration that I was hitting my limits, so I thank the heavens that I might still yet have potential in me. Also, I was pretty scared about the animation, because I'm really not experienced in animating and the standards for both aesthetics and technicality have risen ridiculously high (due to animators' hard work, respect) in this community. In the end, I've accepted that it's really not bad for being my first animation in AE and for being primarily a mixer/vocalist. Some seemed to like it a lot, yay ;o; <3

I'm really happy about this collab... All 12 of the other girls in it are suuuuch sweethearts, super supportive and gracious, and wow their voices. *___* They're all fantastic and I'm grateful they agreed! I'm glad to see them receiving love and extra recognition through this. ♥ One of my favorite things is that I was privileged to be in a place where I could invite and bring together friends from different communities—so I was able to have friends (and a new friend I stalked down because I liked her voice LOL) from the youtaite community, long-time friends with whom I've been singing since 2010 (Zoey and Chiisana since 2007 actually!), and some friends that I met in 2016 through the k-pop coverist competition PRODUCE90. That's a super beautiful thing to me ;____; And the adorable art makes me clutch my heart!

And of course, I'm proud that I was able to complete this collab at all. It's actually been hitting me with a lot of guilt throughout the past year, whenever I had to deprioritize it in favor of other projects, whenever it was me that was holding up the entire thing... I had wondered if I was wrong to be so ambitious to be organizing, mixing, animating, rapping in, and recording additional harmonies for a 13-person collab. The more time went by without me completing it, the more I felt I was failing—and I also didn't have the confidence that I could make it up to expectations. But ultimately... in this economy when most non-chorus battle collaborations never see the light, I'm glad I could shine some on this one. ^^

HONESTLYYYY it was good luck more than anything that I happened to be able to finish it up right around Valentine's Day, which I believe helped it get such good reception for being a collab of a kpop song most have never heard of before LOL!! I'm so grateful for how well it was received, like ;_____; it exceeded my expectations tenfold. ;___; There was so much love! Not to mention that I don't have any expectations for my youtube channel anymore, because I'm pretty much a washed up unspectacular person whose subs are mostly from ancient times and I cover mostly kpop despite being most active in a non-kpop community, and I've basically come to accept that it'll be this way until there's a turnaround. The amount of views/likes/retweets may not match up to others' works, but for me, it was shocking. Thank you.

It truly reminded me of how supportive and full of love the people around me are. ;o; It felt like it was the birthday of me and everyone else in the cast!

As for everything else in my life... After a few weeks of work being very stressful and deadline-ridden, it's been slow and chill for the past 2 weeks, which I've uh been taking advantage of LOL... I know it's going to get busy again soon, so I'm enjoying this. Typically I'd feel guilty over not being productive enough.. and I always feel like a failure for how late I can't drag myself out of bed until and how late I get to work...... but lately, I still think, "Wow I did amazing anyway!" Q^Q I'm quite pleased with myself for taking care of myself and how good I feel about myself despite whatever. I'm in such a good mental and emotional condition that I was able to shake off something that would usually put me in an unhappy and toxic mood. I haven't let physical discomforts get me down either. I don't know how long this will last, but I'm grateful for it right now. I also feel that I've found a good balance of doing good towards others, without giving away too much of myself, which is pretty important to me after how burnt out I was for a while. I'm glad I have time to spend on hobbies and indulgent fangirling—they bring me a lot of joy. I think I'm more comfortable with myself now. The other day, I noted how green the hills were and thought that a cloud looked cool, which I wouldn't have said a year ago!! I'm proud that I've been going to kpop dance class weekly and that my acid reflux has diminished a lot since I started going on a diet for it. AND!!!!! I might be doing a new solo after all, since I felt like recording it and actually enjoyed it ^^.... It's been a while since I truly enjoyed recording. I'm happy that I can work on passion projects, that I can feel "inspiration."

Also I think it's worth noting that right now I'm happy about the friends I have and—gross moment—about how wonderfully blissful and strong my relationship is. I owe a lot to Fome.

YEAH OKAY WELL HERE'S "I WISH" PLEASE APPRECIATE THE 12 BEAUTIES I GOT TO SING WITH!!! <3333

【COLLAB】 Cosmic Girls - I Wish (너에게 닿기를)

⇢ VOCALS:
SeolA  ★  Mimi ･ https://www.youtube.com/mimimoiselle
Xuan Yi  ★  ひのえ (Hinoe) ･ https://www.youtube.com/AqueousSky
Bona  ★  Nessa ･ https://www.youtube.com/nessaxvaa
EXY  ★  Eva ･ https://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva
Soobin  ★  Aerin ･ https://www.youtube.com/RamenBlossom
Luda  ★  mitsu ･ https://www.youtube.com/xRaemii
Dawon  ★  Zoey ･ https://www.youtube.com/XoZoeymonxx
Eunseo  ★  Ashley ･ https://www.youtube.com/KyungJae94
Cheng Xiao  ★  Brey ･ https://www.youtube.com/breyomi
Mei Qi  ★  serena☆ ･ https://www.youtube.com/SutekiAozora
Yeoreum  ★  Mima ･ https://www.youtube.com/MLOUDMima
Dayoung  ★  Yoonshin ･ https://www.youtube.com/lovelight4339
Yeonjung  ★  小さな (chiisana) ･ https://www.youtube.com/ChiisanaChanx3

⇢ ILLUSTRATIONS:
さる (saru) ･ https://twitter.com/saru_rkgk

⇢ MIX & VIDEO:
Eva ･ https://www.youtube.com/waterpixieva

Ambition

Man, I feel a strange wave of ambition surging through me... even though it comes with some stress and worry and even guilt. >_> I've decided that there are a lot of things I want to do and I hope it doesn't overwhelm me.

Firstly, I'm working on a video thing that may possibly become a series, or might just be a two-off deal. I'd also really like to get back into vlogging, so I will definitely be doing that during my Japan+Korea trip in April with Chiisana and Fome! Any vlogging done before that depends on if anything exciting happens haha. Thennnn I'd like to film a little "music video" for my birthday solo in May. ;u; Any solos before then really depend on the status of my other projects heh... I'm also going to do a duet with Fome for the first time! (which is very nerve-wracking)

Something that's new is that now that I've gone to 3 k-pop dance classes, I'd like to keep up with dancing as my form of exercise. ;o; If I'm ambitious enough to become decent enough, I might post some short dances to show what I've practiced........ This one would be nice to accomplish, but I'm unsure because I'm a pretty weak dancer so it'll take a lot. At the last class, we learned Red Velvet's new song Bad Boy so I think I'm going to keep working at that for now ;v;

This I really debated talking about because I'm ...beyond embarrassed. Recently, I worked on a birthday chorus for my friend Katie. If you'd like to watch, please pay attention to the adorable art, the animation, the vocals..... Everyone in this collab did great! But whatever you do, please don't pay attention to the mix. I wish I could own up to it, but I can't. ;;;;; It was a huge struggle, we couldn't find a good instrumental, and I was really frustrated that I couldn't do what I'm sure other mixers would probably be able to do really well...

It's made me kind of fear mixing a little bit. My confidence in mixing took a nosedive. But I do have to get back into it soon so that I can finish up my k-pop collab—which I mixed and animated—and upload ASAP. ;w; However, after that I think I'm going to take a step back and only mix for myself and Gemini for a while. Hopefully Gemini will have a new upload in the next couple months too, yay!

But back to Katie's birthday chorus, here it is~ Please enjoy the art, animation, and vocals~ (Realtalk I'm very delighted to be a magical girl)

[Happy Birthday KT!] Endless Starlight - League of Legends

Vocalist: Mizu: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCupzFTmUq6EW9UejXwWR6QQ k*chan: https://www.youtube.com/user/iKawaiiAishiteru mong: https://www.youtube.com/user/vamong/ Eva: https://www.youtube.com/user/waterpix... Cream: https://www.facebook.com/creamsherryart/

Mix: Eva (Main Mix) Mizu (Tune & Time) Art: creamsherry: (Sketch & Line) https://www.instagram.com/creamsherry... brella: (Color & Staff Chibis) http://umbrellaguns.tumblr.com/ Animation: utsu: https://www.youtube.com/user/Digitalx...

Kate Kim "So Long, Baby" + BTS Photos

Ayyy, this is an exciting post!!!

So quick story: my friend Gino has a high school friend—Kate Kim—who debuted in Korea as a soloist after participating on a singing competition show. She's AMAZINGLY super talented and a lot of our friends have been supporting her for years despite never having met her. She co-composed an awesome song, came back to California to film an MV for it, and when Gino told me about it, I was more than happy to help out on the shoot. ^^ It was a long, exhausting day of handling gear, but a very fun experience and I learned a lot from the crew leads! And now I can say I've worked on a k-pop video hahaha!

When I wasn't helping with lighting, I was taking behind-the-scenes photos on my camera. (Ah have I mentioned on here that I bought my first DSLR in October? :>) And I guess they ended up choosing one of the pictures I took as the cover photo for the single, which was really unexpected and cool!!! So you can see this on iTunes and on official Korean streaming sites and errthang....

Anyway, here is Kate's MV for "So Long, Baby" which is a wonderfully groovy bop. She sings with so much flair and oomph and it's got me singing, "do re mi fa sol~~" all the time. The music video looks so cool; the space we filmed in was tiny, but it's incredible what we were able to make out of it thanks to the crew's creativity. And look! how! cute! Kate is! And chic and sassy and gorgeous all at once.

It's also worth noting that Kate's as much of a sweetheart as I already had an impression of her being. Honestly every single person on the set was really nice and cooperative, so it was a positive and productive atmosphere the whole time. Gino vlogged/took behind-the-scenes videos (of course, because he's Gino) which you can check out below. You might spot me a few times~

Under the cut, I'll be sharing some of the photos I snapped on the shoot. :D I'm no photographer and I'm still very inexperienced with cameras, but I do really like how some of these turned out. Enjoy!

Artful Lying 2k18

(The second installment to this 2014 post.)

Hi!! I tweeted this a few days ago but thought I'd post here too since I used to often blog my make-up ventures. ^^

It all started when I developed a girl crush on EXID's Hani. I mean, truly, if I were there THAT WOULD BE ME.

She put me through this entire phase of "oh my god why does Hani make purple hair seem so tempting" -> "wait don't let me get purple hair though lmao I have two purple wigs omg" -> "ACTUALLY maybe...." -> "Okay it's happening, I want to try purple ends to my hair." But alas, I don't think I'll be doing it after all LOL... My hair's gotten pretty dry, so I'm wary about how much I'd have to bleach it in order to achieve purple.

She's also made me wonder if I would want to try having frontal bangs again. >A> I was thinking of buying some extensions, but the other day I trimmed my bangs, and it was short enough to kiiind of fake it when my hair is really curled!

Typical Eva~

Cue transformation sequence aka an hour of me struggling to put on makeup

swirls

particles

glittering background

sparkly music

    

Yeah, I don't know who this is--

I think this was my first time highlighting my entire lower eye rim like this, but I'll probably try doing it more. Honestly, the makeup looked shitty in person (the camera tells lies and in this case, it's great) but it was fun to do!