March 23rd: NYA's San Francisco Adventure

Pictured:
• Andy or Kimchi / SeoulTempo
• Chiisana / ChiisanaChanx3
• Chris, Hakuro, Hakiro, or Shiratsuyu... / ItsHakuro

• Eva / waterpixieva
• Dibur / diburmakesmusic

• Diji / DijiDori
• Fome / Fome
• Karu / karufuruu
• Kazou / soundmutation
• Kura / Kuraiinu
• Myst / mystraven
• Y

This was undoubtedly one of best days of Spring Break. ^^ It was the first time almost all of NYA (Norcal Youtube Alliance) was gathered, and it was for such a fun outing with food, purikura, karaoke, and good company. Additionally, Andy came to visit from Socal and joined us!

My day started off with just me and Chiisana. Y got off work at 1 PM, so the plan was for me and Chiisana to visit Y's workplace and then head up to San Francisco together with others we had to pick up on the way.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY GOT UP AT 9 AM.... to put on make-up. Chiisa and I have been largely dedicating this Spring Break to our venture into beauty, since we ordered a joint make-up haul and we finally had time to explore it this week. xD We later had a sleepover during which we spent hours trying out/learning to use make-up, which I'll blog about later.

This day was my very first time wearing make-up out of the house casually u/////u .... as in not for cosplay, prom, or a wedding. But the only eye make-up I donned was brown gel liner so even those that noticed thought it was subtle. ;u;

Today

I have no plans.
Last night was bittersweet as I realized both how much I enjoyed this Spring Break, and the impending emptiness as it's over. Partings are always sad even though I know I should just appreciate what good times were spent. I was just overcome with a pang of emptiness when it occurred to me that I'm returning to the usual silence, companionlessness, lack of motion and adventure and things to always look forward to. Although it felt like Spring Break was over, it was strange that I still had one more day (today) but nothing to do and no one to see? In some ways, I thought that it would've been easier had I immediately needed to ease back into my busy life with work and school.

I guess now I'm okay that it ended up this way. I was pretty tired and didn't get out of bed until 4 PM LOL.. Plus I've been meaning to blog about things since last week but had no time to sit down and do it. And I guess I have a lot of things to do. I just. don't have motivation. :'D

While I think we enjoyed Spring Break to the highest capacity we could given what we had, I can't say there were no regrets. >_> There were lots of frustrations, and I'm still frustrated with a lot of people... Take control of your own life because you can. Try stepping out of your comfort zone sometimes. Don't drop everyone in your life for one or two things. Try to contribute instead of always waiting for others to take the reins. Don't ignore people and especially your friends who try to reach out to you. Don't ruthlessly take advantage of others. Try listening to what others have to say. AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO RAIN ON THE ONE DAY we've been planning to go to the beach for since over a month ago?!

A Busy Spring Break!!

Insert the implications of this post's title here. While it's tiring, I'm glad it's been busy because once this week's over, I'll be loaded with school projects, my friends will be even busier, and Chiisana will be gone until summer. So it's great that we're getting lots of fun time in now! ^^

It's probably because I've been out everyday but I've been having a hard time sitting still in front of the computer during the times I can. Mixing and online responsibilities used to not be a very big problem because they were all that occupied my free time, but now it's not only difficult to make time for them, I ALSO DON'T WANNA. I DON'T WANNA MIX AAAAAH but I really should because there are people counting on me. aigoo.

Quick summary of Spring Break before I collapse in bed!

Friday, 21st: Stayed up til 5 AM helping with something ahahahh

Saturday, 22nd: Myst's house for a viewing party of the Serendipity Chorus Battle round 2 entries, featuring a drinking game in which we had to drink every time a NYA (Norcal Youtube Alliance) member was in a group.. or there was moving hair in the animation.

I've had a couple trial sips of alcohol before, but on this day I actually drank for the very first time!! It was kind of a surprise to everyone--including myself. After a hard lemonade and a glass of soda mixed stuff, I got very pink but felt sober through all of it. Thankfully, by the end of the night, I felt like I never drank anything at all. xD It was an interesting experience and I'm glad I successfully survived. Even though I'm 21 in a little over a month, I don't know if this'll happen again very much because designated driver status yo.

Sunday, 23rd: San Francisco adventure with almost all of NYA! <3 Purikura included.

Monday, 24th: Work. And then an evening to relax which I spent not doing any mixing because I couldn't bring myself to sob!!

Tuesday, 25th: Work. Picked up Chiisana and drove around to a bunch of places looking for make-up things. Got back to my house for a spontaneous sleepover and started out experimental make-up adventure after midnight. At 4 AM, we each had one eye done (fake lashes and all) and gave up to go to sleep.

Wednesday, 26th: Worked on cosplay with Yanovi and Chiisana! Got things done! Ate Korean food!

Thursday, 27th: Oh hey that's today! Well--yesterday, since it's 1 AM.

Had lunch with Chiisana, Yanovi, Karu, and Chris/Hakuro at Misoya Ramen. ^o^ Then we all split up but I hung out with Chiisana for a couple more hours. We picked up her brother from school, went to Safeway to get ingredients for our cookie monster ice cream milkshake, returned to her house and failed to find her blender, and so I went home. Relaxed a bit. AND THEN I GOT SOME MIXING DONE HOORAY. I need to do more of it. Soon. When I can. Eventually.

Friday, 28th: I will have work... and then I think the plan is to head over after to Chiisana's to try making the milkshake since she found her blender. And then sleepover at Yanovi's????

Saturday, 29th: NYA had plans to go to a beach/do a bit of hiking, BUT............ it's gonna rain. and we haven't discussed this yet. hm. HM.

effort 150%

??? payoff ???

burn out

Song of the Day ^^

Michelle Lee - Without You (Debut Single)

I’m beautiful without you

I’m meaningful without you

Food and friends and stuff

Oh hi LOL. I guess I'm tired or something 'cause I just randomly fell asleep for 3 and a half hours (felt a lot longer) and woke up to find it was 11 PM, all worried that it was 4 AM and I hadn't brushed my teeth yet. So probably a quickie post while I have some soup to quell my biting "omg but I didn't eat proper dinner" thoughts. Then gladly back to bed huehuheuue I'll be so energized tomorrow. [Edit;; Oops I ended up consolidating practically every detail from the past 2 days into this post.]

It's been a fun past few days! ... has it? But I had midterms. Er. Idk man it felt like fun. I've come to kind of enjoy being at cafes and whatnot by myself. BUT IT'S ALSO SO PLEASANT to be in the company of best frand thing again aaaah ;v; Plus having spontaneous local friends is nice...!

[2:23:54 PM]: :c man maybe i was wrong to take "socially challenged" off of my twitter description
[2:24:25 PM]: i just made a stupid silly mistake in front of everyone in the office and it's honestly no big deal and everyone was just like LOL EVAAA EVA WHY and it was all good
[2:24:41 PM]: but i ended up having to run to a bathroom stall and started crying uncontrollably
[2:41:54 PM]: At least no one else thinks ur socially challenged
[2:42:11 PM]: ;^; 'cause they don't see me sobbing in the bathroom

Screenwriting 3

This post is mostly directed towards Lee HAHAHA. Finally am setting the plot of my script into stone! It's way too shallow for my liking (and I realize the stakes aren't very high), but what can I do when it's a short script that's required to be built on external conflict? If I ever decide that I enjoy writing fiction, I'd like to attempt a novel version to further develop the characters, lay down cohesive motifs, and tackle the more meaningful potential and foils that had to be written out.


     Melanie Kang (Mel) is a prideful 17 year old who doesn’t take insults lightly yet is pessimistic about the heights she can achieve. Her complex over her lack of feminine beauty leads her to depend on make-up, as well as reduce her dream of becoming a singer into a joke of cynical sorts.
     When her dad playfully suggests that she wouldn’t be accepted as a singer even if she were male, she takes offense and bets that even if she can’t ultimately win, she can at least make it through the first round of a TV talent show while crossdressed. There, she runs into Hilary, with whom she’s known as best friends at school, while both have closer friend groups outside of school. Hilary only shows kindness to those who benefit her, is judgmental, and views an extent of cheating as resourcefulness.
     After Hilary mocks the disguised Mel, Mel makes it her goal to show up Hilary in the 2nd round, allied with Mel’s outspoken brother Mark and another show participant: the unconfident but talented Lily. As she trains her singing seriously for the first time, Mel lies to her parents—insisting that she’s given up on the show and has been taking SAT preparation lessons. Meanwhile, Mel and Hilary keep their regular distant but amicable atmosphere at school as Mel secretly wheedles out information on Hilary’s audition plans, and an unexpressed attraction grows between Lily and Mark.
     On the day of the 2nd round performance, Mel’s parents and Hilary discover Mel’s lies and confront Mel at the TV station. Enraged, Mel’s mother ruins Mel’s wig and demands that the nonsense stops there. Mel is now left with the decision to either quietly fold, or suffer the humiliation of revealing her identity on TV but proving to herself and to her parents that she is serious about pursuing singing. Mel chooses to perform, after which Hilary acknowledges her ability and the two admit their wrongs to each other, finally putting their two-facedness aside. Neither Mel nor Hilary make it past the round, and Lily is the ultimate winner both in regards to the audition and in overcoming her fears as she confesses that her performed love song is dedicated to Mark. In the aftermath, Mel decides to start singing lessons with the agreement of her parents.

Unadulteration

J Rabbit - Happy Things

^o^ In such a great mood right now! And this video really exemplifies it.

     KaiRoland8  6 months ago
     I want to be their friends. They're just bursting with unadulterated excitement to be alive.

For some reason, this might just be my favorite youtube comment ever. I've never seen the use of the word "unadulterated" before, and it just feels so.... telling and true. Despite a pessimistic connotation in associating being an adult with impurity, I find it truthful and the term gives me delight because it implies the untainted wonder and enchantment in the spirit of a child. I can now accept that growing up is inevitable, but I never want to let go of my childish heart.

The weather in California is absolutely perfect. ^^ I feel like I've achieved such a simple but irreplaceable happiness today. Gliding through a park on heelys in sunny weather with a friend while enjoying a cookie ice cream sandwich from an ice cream truck--I didn't realize until after how much this is like a dream come true. An unspectacular, beautiful experience of belated childhood fulfillment. And I'm no longer afraid of garnering public attention heelying in an era when heelys are nearly extinct. xD I would love if heelys and rollerblades could make a comeback.

What's also wonderful is comfortable yet not entirely familiar friendship that carries no romantic implications. No burden, no worry, no need to gauge for the potentially unwanted or awkward, and just exciting companionship.

And now I return to homework. But at least I have J Rabbit music to accompany me!

More Human Canvas

Damn what a busy week it's been that simply whizzed by with one drawled-out long exclamation of, "Thee weaattherr is sooooo niiiiiiceee ! !"
..I freaking love California.

All it takes are little things

• walking through campus for the first time disallowing myself from staring at the ground or pretending to be on my phone, and not avoiding eye contact
• telling a stranger to have a nice day
• speaking up to change an order at a cafe rather than regretting
• taking the stairs even if I'm parked on the 6th floor and people stare (laziest school ever)
• joking with a classmate I've never interacted with before
• smiling whenever I look into a mirror
• daring once more to fantasize with a light heart
• having a moment of melancholic nostalgia but ultimately realizing that I'm happy with my life

Home

hears the laughter
of friends reunited
Home
sees the sorrow
beneath gleaming eyes sighted
Home
mends the heart
slyly stifled longing tricks
We're home,
once more flying
Like a freakin' G6.

Welcoming Spring

From my mom's garden today

Sup! The weather in Northern California is beautiful. ^^ So refreshing to get to sit around the house now in a male t-shirt and comfy shorts instead of the restriction that is winter clothes. I'm totally writing this post out of procrastination even though I have to read and do an assignment on a 109 paged screenplay that's due Tuesday. Fuck. I've been so busy lately I don't wanna spend my only free time doing work waa waaaa. :'c

I had volunteering again today! I was just supposed to follow our team leader around again like yesterday and help with whatever errands (which isn't uninteresting, but just unproductive, I find) UNTIL!! she got a call asking for reinforcement, as an usher at one of the theatres couldn't show up. I enjoyed ticket ushering so much that I emailed the team leader to let her know, so of course the job got passed on to me woooo!

Last time I worked at a movie theater, but this time I was stationed at a fancy theatre with Spaniard style architecture that oversees operas, orchestras, etc.

A sorry excuse of a picture of the lobby + red carpet I snapped on my shoddy, non-smart phone. :'D
(Google Images gives a much more flattering presentation BUT... they tore down the red carpet and backdrop near the end of my shift so I wanted to preserve what I got to be in the presence of.)

The bulk of today's work (and cause for my current soreness of throat and feet) came in the hour and a half during which I was among 3 ticket scanners letting 600+ people into an event.

It's unfortunate that I don't know who Neil Gaiman is but it was pretty awesome to see how many people were big enough fans to come. ^^ I had a great moment after my shift ended when a group of girls in front of the theatre asked me if Mr. Gaiman had left yet, and I got to be all, "I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THIS BUT... I heard he's leaving from the back," and they displayed.. such.... a range of emotion that makes me very fond and smug about this story. Teheheh.

I never once thought I'd be even half decent at customer service, but it was so much fun and I felt competent. ;^;)/ But t'was tiring. 3 hours of constant smiling, standing, being polite, hunger, thirst, and SO MUCH TALKING: "thank you!" "enjoy!" "I can help you over here!" "would you like to fill out a survey?" "good morning!" "I'm so sorry; please give me a moment!" "have a great day!" and sweetly smiling some more.

And I made friends very easily and got along with about everyone I interacted with for more than a minute. I wish volunteering didn't chip such a chunk out of my schedule, because it's had the most positive impact on me and has been one of my greatest experiences in university. I would engage in it more if not for class, work, homework, time for friends, and the things that I had to cut out in the past few weeks: recording, mixing, watching dramas, getting proper sleep.

It was when I took friend out for driving practice after volunteering, and he was really embarrassed to approach the ice cream truck we came upon... I realized that that was me not too long ago. I always feared and disliked interacting with people--especially strangers--so much that if possible, I'd have someone else order for me in a restaurant because I didn't want to talk to the waiter/waitress. I found it too overwhelming to talk to people with authority, adults, professors, doctors... I'd be afraid of people watching me, and too self conscious to do anything that any onlookers might find strange or embarrassing. If someone got my order wrong, I would not say anything and suck it up. I would not engage with strangers, and just say a few words coldly to get my point across at best. Today I even wished the ice cream truck man a nice day--no hesitation and lit with a genuine smile and confident tone. Damn.

These days of volunteering may have made me outgoing for the first time.




Zhou Mi (Super Junior-M) - "Wild Lilies Also Have A Spring" (3:01)

heureuse

(wtf I was only gone for 12 hours)

(been so long<3)

Off now~

Going to volunteer at the film festival again! The tie and vest aren't part of the uniform, but.......... well I was already halfway there, so why resist?

TL;DR: I feel amazing

HI I just got home and it's 12:18 AM!! Another Thursday, another increeeeedible day eeeeee. I'm totally incoherent right now and distracted by other things, but I'll do my best to like. type words. and stuff. I still have to shower and I work 9 to 6 tomorrow, so I'm kinda double fucking myself over right now BUT I HAVE SO MUCH I wanna say that needs to get out right now or it'll be lost in some abyss of my terrible memory and laziness.

It's been a really long day LOL. I woke up, ate brunch, and took an online midterm. And then I had my TV/Film Production class! I technically didn't even need to go because I had no roles for the day (since I was director and all the difficult roles last week) but IT'S OKAY; I HAD FUN. I can't believe it aaaaaaaaa I actually feel like an actual film student now!!! I feel like a broken record always talking about this but it is one of my complexes and hurdles as a "film" student (I consider myself more of a media major but it's easier to just say film) because everyone else is SO COOL AND CHILL AND SOCIAL AND COMPETENT AND WITTY AND OPEN AND .......... I am not. But I finally feel like!!! WOW. THEre isn't that big of a gap and I can actually do it!!! And there's this extra thing where I've really always just been "nerdy quiet studious goodygoody antisocial asian girl in the corner" and I usually only talk to the other nerdy people (mostly asians for some reason) and I JUST... feel like an entirely different species from the "cool/rebellious/notgoodygoody" people. Or I never felt cool enough to talk to them. And film students are mostly those types of white kids that I feel like never bat an eye at the kids like me. BUT IN THIS CLASS I GET ALONG WITH THEM ...!!!! AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE BECOME FRIENDS AND I JUST. I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS IN THIS CLASS and omfg even the people I've always thought would think they're too cool for me just talk to me and like ONE GUY JUST kept going on and on to me like he wanted me to listen and I thought that was sweet aaaa. EVERY TIME I SUCCESSFULLY SOCIALIZE, I'M ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDED BY THE THOUGHT. WOW. GUYS I GOT THIS FAR. I'm also very incoherent fuck fuck

Class got out at 3 when it usually gets out at 4, so I asked Yanovi (who goes to the same school as me) to come eat an early dinner and get milk tea with me. ^___^ We went to a sushi place near our school that I've never been to before and had sushi burritos!! And it was really good!

Then I had volunteering at 5. As I mentioned in another post, I've been volunteering lately at a film festival because of a class AND I'M TOO LAZY to explain everything again and the whole downtown situation again so that's there in that post HAHA.

I got there not knowing a thing about what I'd be doing--imagining that I'd just be running around doing errands or cleaning or carrying things--but nope. They told me I would fill in as a ticket usher at one of the theaters. And THAT. WAS. I WAS REALLY SCARED. I WAS SO SCARED. And also sad because there were 2 teams to choose from: Hospitality and Special Forces. Hospitality entailed being a concierge and being social and friendly and helpful to guests and film directors and everyone. I chose to join Special Forces so I'd just have to run errands or fill in spots and not talk to people. Furthermore, I specifically told my team organizer that I didn't want tasks that required me to socialize. :( And yet... there I was.. being assigned to be a ticket usher..........

But dear god it was so much fun. I would do it again. I'm about to send the team organizer an email saying that I'd love to do ticket ushering again this weekend if that's a possibility. ^^

Basically, before each movie, I stood outside the door and scanned everybody's passes/tickets with an iPod. And after each movie, I would pass out surveys and pencils to people exiting, and collect their surveys. It was a shit ton of "Hi! May I please scan your pass? I can help you right over here! Can I please see your ticket? Sorry for the wait. Enjoy your movie! Thank you! Would you like to fill out a survey? Thank you very much! I can take that! You can leave the pencils right here! Thank you and good night!" AND THE MOST NONSTOP SMILING I'VE PROBABLY EVER DONE.

I was only supposed to work 5 PM to 9 PM .......... and then it hit 10 PM.......... and they wanted me to stay til midnight. L O L. sadlkfjsdlkfjdsf I can't believe everyone liked me so much and like. UUUGH THEY KEPT TELLING ME I WAS DOING A GREAT JOB and that I worked really hard and was sweet and aaaaaaaaaa. One manager in particular was like, "And then there are people like Eva who we really need to keep around." ////////

The keeping me around for longer did make sense though because all of the other student volunteers were high school kids, so they needed to get home haha. I'm glad that I got to work with a couple of high schoolers because we got along super well and it was a lot of fun! I don't feel nervous around those younger than me and we're about the same mental age anyway LOLOL..... (One interesting thing actually! A girl I made friends with goes to the high school that Chiisana went to so I mentioned that I went to a lot of their plays and musicals because my best friend was in them, and she pipes up, "OF COURSE I KNOW [Chiisana]! She was like a theatre star!! *A*" bwehehehehe<3)
Iono but university students and adults scare me a lot. Except surprisingly I got along with every.... single person that I talked to today!!!!!!! It was amazing. I even made friends with all the adults and one woman started talking to me about her 2-year-old grandson. And there was one really nice guy that got accused of flirting with me ahaha. I can't believe it. I got along with so many people.. and of all people, they're film people!! Who are sociable and competent ;A;

WHO KNEW THAT I COULD DO SOMETHING THAT REQUIRED /THIS/ MUCH SOCIALIZING? It's like I've discovered a new Eva today. I never knew I had this capability. Like wow. And I'm so sorry that this entire post has my ego all over it but. I mean, I got praised and I feel amazing about it. Me, who used to not believe in myself!! QAQ

So finally I got to finish after all the films of the day were done and had to get back to campus where I left my car.
It's one thing to walk around downtown by myself at 2 PM like last time (also the first time)..

and a total other thing to be walking downtown by myself at midnight.

passing by homeless sleeping on benches.

being jokingly offered alcohol by a couple of drunk guys that I happened to be walking the same way as. (well I didn't think they were scary. They held up a bottle to me and were like, "ARE YOU DOWN FOR SOME, BABE" and I just laughed and declined and they were like, "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. YOU KEEP STUDYING OKAY")

I got back to the parking garage and something surged over me. The area was entirely empty and I was feeling great and renewed and empowered, so by this time, I just ran all the way to my car--whooping loudly and jumping to touch the ceiling along the way HAHAHAHA.

I'm hysterical.

Good night.♥

Alternate Universe Me & Artful Lying

Jeffrey of Gemini.

[9:18:05 PM] hot babe: omtg
[9:18:06 PM] hot babe: i just realised how shit
[9:18:09 PM] hot babe: my mic is
[9:18:33 PM] Eva: ...................... you're 3 years late

J E F F R E Y  P L S.
Can we please talk about the lyrics to this song, specifically the ones at 0:37-0:45, thanks.

Longing Forever

Maybe they shouldn't have let this child out of her crib, for the taste of a world uncaged and curious now carries an emptiness of soul as a wondrously fastmoving world catches its breath. Solitude and familiarity once satisfactory becomes restlessness, longing, and ennui. Who knew that there were distances to delight in exploring and company to crave?

20, but crying.
20, and wanting to crawl.

Insooni - A Goose's Dream

This is one of my all-time favorite songs, but it's my first time hearing Insooni perform it. It's been an emotional experience but the more I sing along, the more I tear up. ;A;

Sooooo many feels as she signs the lyrics while singing them alskdfjsf

And how touching is it to see that everyone, regardless of generation, knows these lyrics and sings along? With faces of hope and wonder and peace, or choked up with emotion. And now, even youth all the way across the oceans like me and countless others love the song and sing along.

These kinds of things always tug the most reactive strings.

I… I used to have a dream
Though thrown away and torn
and looks worn out
I kept it within my heart as if it was a treasure

Sometimes, though someone laughed at me
for an unknown reason
behind my back
I had to endure, I could endure
For that day…

You always tell me worriedly
That pointless dream is a poison
That this world is like a book, where the end is already written
That it is a reality that can’t be reversed

That’s right, I… I have a dream
I believe in that dream.
Just you watch me.
I can proudly confront
That coldly standing wall called fate.

Some day, I’ll climb over that wall
And fly high to that sky
Even this heavy world cannot bind me.
Let’s spend the day when I’ll laugh at the end of my life together…

You always tell me worriedly
That pointless dream is a poison
That this world is like a book, where the end is already written
That it is a reality that can’t be reversed

That’s right, I… I have a dream
I believe in that dream.
Just you watch me.
I can proudly confront
That coldly standing wall called fate.

Some day, I’ll climb over that wall
And fly high to that sky
Even this heavy world cannot bind me.
Let’s spend the day when I’ll laugh at the end of my life together…
(translation by bumfromkorea)

Frozen Smile

J Rabbit - Frozen Smile

If I had a website on which to place autoplaying background music, this would be the first track. <3 ^^

Evolution of a sloth

So these are the turkeys that have made their home outside my workplace. in a busy court of business buildings. in the Silicon Valley, known worldwide for its technological advancement.

Today's been a really interesting day, though it may seem mundane to others! I've always been afraid to leave my little bubble but I've been wanting to try new things lately and it feels really satisfying. ^^ For a long time, my entire world only saw 1) my room, 2) classes, 3) my workplace, and 4) my car. I've never joined clubs, I never volunteered, and I always drive when I can or else I.. don't go.

One of my classes is headed by the director of an organization that runs an internationally acclaimed film festival and part of the class is volunteering for this film festival.
I've been weighed down by so much anxiety caused by this class in the past month ("oh my god I have to work with professional people and not only that, they're FILM people which means they're social and hip and informal but very competent and worldly"), but especially in the past 2 weeks because of failed email correspondence with the organizer of the team I'm in. ("am I supposed to have a schedule?" "oh my god I think I have to volunteer this sunday I'm so scared" "OH FUCK THE EMAIL SAID SATURDAY OMFG I'M SO SORRY" "I'M SOOOO SORRY I FUCKED UP what if they really really needed the help" "why isn't she responding to my emails?" "why isn't she or my professor responding to any of my emails?" "oh my god what if they hate me? what if I'm kicked out and then I'll fail the class and they'll forever ban me from the industry!") SO I FINALLY MANNED UP A LITTLE and texted the organizer and it all turned out fine so I got the chance to volunteer today and she's scheduled my next few shifts. Q_Q)9 yay I'm not hated I think!!!!

Okay, phew. That aside. Let's not go back there again. I have no reason to be afraid now.
Volunteering was a lot of fun today! I was the only volunteer but everyone welcomed me warmly and I was able to speak with people just fine YAY I socialized QAQ!! Spent some hours putting up dozens and dozens of posters in the movie theater.. Started really craving popcorn by the end of it.. Followed the organizer around like a little duckling and helped her clean up the box office up front (meanwhile being stared at by everyone walking by because there are no curtains or blinds on the windows) and we got relatively chummy!

It was interesting to gain a new perspective of downtown. The university I attend is also situated downtown, except this area has such a bad reputation (not ungrounded; there have been frequent incidents) that I rarely ever go anywhere downtown other than to campus and straight to class. And above all, if I have to go anywhere downtown, I will hop in my car if that's an option.

Today, I had my dad drop me off (at 9 AM lol), and I'm glad I did. I ended up having to walk back and forth from the organization office to the theater a few blocks down, which at first freaked me out because this specific part of downtown is rather scary looking and is what I've been exposed to. It's interesting because I found that one area might be bustlin' and hip, but the very next street over is hold-tight-to-your-handbags homeless-on-every-corner hookah-bars-on-the-right ghetto town. I never knew how busy and .. cool some parts of downtown were, so that was nice to see even if it made me feel like a loner ahahah. I've always kinda avoided these parts either because 1) scary people, or 2) too many people and social anxiety. (There were a lot of people and I wasn't socially anxious yay!!) Or just 'cause I never had local friends to go with and no opportunities.

After volunteering ended, I decided to walk over to my campus so my dad could pick me up at the library, which was about a 20 minute walk. I never once in my life thought that I would even half enjoy walking around downtown by myself. Walking? In downtown?! And by myself?! But I found it to be a pleasant and refreshing experience. ^^

I was gonna walk around campus too until I spotted the children's books section of the library which was a lot more captivating. So I sat myself down and read a book about castles. Did you know that attackers' tactics included starving their enemies to death by seizing their castle and blocking all incoming food? Now I know how I probably died in my medieval past life. GIVE ME SNACKS OR GIVE ME DEATH

And now I'mma take Kazou out for driving practice and tag along as he walks his dog in the park, except iono about the latter anymore because I didn't expect to do so much walking already and as a very lazy person that used to only know how to sit in front of the computer in my room I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH PHYSICAL MOVEMENT sobs no okay I can do it. Exercise is good. I'm not tired at all. This is good progress. I'm too tired to get up. Help. I should publish this post and go. But. ...zzzz so. lazy. I've been "proofreading" this post for the past half hour delaying getting up LOL. gotta.. go....