[Update: The official VOD of the livestream can be found here!]
In February I made a huge, significant, crazy, unbelievable step upwards in my personal growth. ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ
For starters, I was blessed to be cast to provide the voice for a character in a game!!
It's called NOISZ STฮRLIVHT, a mobile game for the NOISZ series which take on the genre mashup of visual novel x bullet hell x rhythm game. Out and playable now! ✨
It's full of cute idol girls and lovely LGBTQ stories told by a wonderful team of devs—and the main cast of STARLIVHT are all friends of mine from the youtaite community that I admire which is freaking amazing!!! They're KT (whom I hang out with very frequently irl now), Angela, k*chan, and Leon!
I'm in their rival idol group SUNRๆSE aka SUNRaiSE, alongside Phoebe (another irl friend!) and Snazzle/Niko who are both youtaite as well. ๐ฅฐ☀️✨ Asuka-chan is the girl that I sing as~ My first paid vocal gig wowowow. Our songs aren't in the game yet but coming soon, apparently this month!
To celebrate the long-awaited launch of the game, we did something crazy.....
Going back to my relationship with speaking and stage fright... I do have a lot of performance anxiety in general—please don't watch me while I'm doing anything—and I've always hated people hearing my speaking voice. In high school, I had nightmares about my voice being broadcast on the schoolwide PA system. When I graduated as one of our seven valedictorians (we had a huge graduating class of 800) I was the only one that refused to give a speech at graduation. In certain college classes where not everyone was required to present for a group project, I'd tell them I might have a nervous breakdown if I had to present, heh.
Nowadays I know everyone and their mom is a streamer or vtuber and I just personally have no interest doing any of that or ever performing.
Actually, I've honestly always wondered if I have a minor form of a speech impairment. My speaking doesn't flow well in any language and I tend to slur, mispronounce, trip over words, have a terrible accent in every language, and struggle with stringing together thoughts and sentences out loud. That alone gives me so much anxiety, and on top of it all I don't like the sound of my speaking voice though I've been more open to it lately. Interestingly I find these issues less present while singing since I'm guessing it uses a different part of my brain that's able to give me more precise motor control! Karaoke still scary though.
And thEN ADDING FURTHER TO MY STRESS, when my throat condition is bad I'll often suddenly lose my voice or start cracking everywhere or croaking which is super embarrassing. ;;;
It was reading this thread by Khoi Dao, voice of Albedo in Genshin, that helped improve my relationship with speaking back in December 2020. Him embracing his accent, while also becoming a beloved voice actor in his third language, was incredibly inspiring and made me think that maybe my imperfect speech can be valid too.
A few weeks later I tried to voice act for the first time since middle school. ๐ฅบ Back then I was interested in VA but my confidence was crushed soon after. And throughout 2021, I recorded a handful of little Genshin fandubs and had SO MUCH FUN. ๐ With each one, I tried to improve—and the growth is evident because I can't stand the older ones but am proud of the newer ones LOL.
The only way I could conquer doing this livestream while knowing that everyone would hear me speak and try not to be too out-of-character an Asuka, was to prepare as much as humanly possible.
I played the games and got a preview of Asuka's dialogue (not much available yet) from our producer. Listened to my recordings of SUNRaiSE songs since that portrayal was approved by the devs. Practiced and recorded myself trying different tones of voice and played them back to compare. This was really tough because at the time my throat condition was quite bad. ๐ญ
To others this might be overkill, but I wrote a long document of Asuka lines to try to understand how she would talk and express herself, her relationships with the other characters, phrases and reactions for various situations that might come up. The members and I worked together to make an outline but it wasn't strictly scripted and we left sections open for free chatting—still I'd write different alternatives to my parts so that I could change things up if necessary but not have to entirely make it up on the spot. ...Also wrote lines for in case my throat were to suddenly die... Conversations as myself are hard enough; now there was added pressure having to converse as a character in improvised situations and without much source material to reference aaahh.
I began comparing Asuka to characters in anime I was watching. The most inspiration probably came from Marin from My Dress Up Darling—they have a lot in common and funnily enough I was reALLY STRUGGLING with figuring out how to laugh as Asuka since I'm not an 'ahaha' type of laugh-er and can't do a convincing giggle, but I thought doing a slightly condescending, cheeky 'ehehe' inspired by Marin's could be suitable lmao!!
Now, I have no idea how my voice actually came out during the livestream. It's very likely you can be like: Wow, Eva put in all this preparation but the execution has nothing to show for it... No idea whether I ehehe'ed during the stream or not or what voice I even spoke with; I'm too scared to watch the VOD unmuted. ๐ Though I know there was a slight voice crack on my first line, cries...
But I want to think that I performed alright because the feedback from my friends was very kind!!! Was told that I didn't seem nervous at all, that SUNRaiSE's interactions went smoothly, and that "extroverted Eva was a treat." <3
What's important though is that I came out of the livestream really happy with the experience and proud of myself.
Can you believe I did that? It was so many things that I had to do for the first time and such a leap in my growth! ๐ญ I did that with at least 90 people watching!! Everyone kept telling me to "just try to have fun" which I thought wouldn't be possible with all the stress—was so consumed by nerves that I seriously couldn't feel anything else and was shaking for the two days leading up—and yet I did end up having fun...! All the other cast members are lovely people and supportive of each other and it was a blast to be with them and bond over this show.
;w; I rambled a lot so thank you for reading if you did, and hope you'll also look forward to my voice officially being in a rhythm game (!!!!!) in the NOISZ STARLIVHT patch in April! ☀️
It's full of cute idol girls and lovely LGBTQ stories told by a wonderful team of devs—and the main cast of STARLIVHT are all friends of mine from the youtaite community that I admire which is freaking amazing!!! They're KT (whom I hang out with very frequently irl now), Angela, k*chan, and Leon!
I'm in their rival idol group SUNRๆSE aka SUNRaiSE, alongside Phoebe (another irl friend!) and Snazzle/Niko who are both youtaite as well. ๐ฅฐ☀️✨ Asuka-chan is the girl that I sing as~ My first paid vocal gig wowowow. Our songs aren't in the game yet but coming soon, apparently this month!
We held a livestream where all 4 members of STARLIVHT and all 3 of SUNRaiSE participated using live2D models of our characters !!! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ
Admittedly when we were asked to appear on this stream, I was freaking out about it already since I have stage fright and a bad relationship with speaking... I'd misunderstood and agreed thinking I could just briefly pop in with "Hi I'm Eva, I provide the voice for Asuka" and allow others who are more comfortable with speaking to take over............ and then I found out that I had to act as Asuka.
Who is an overconfident, loudmouthed, cheerful, trendy, well-connected girl with "infectious energy," a longtime idol and pro on the stage. And I...am not an actor.... and I am absolutely none of those traits.
Ummm... Hi I'm Eva, and this is how I had to suddenly 1) conquer my stage fright, 2) learn how to act, 3) prepare myself to improv voice act, 4) overcome my fear of speaking, and 5) debut as a fake vtuber practically overnight.
Who is an overconfident, loudmouthed, cheerful, trendy, well-connected girl with "infectious energy," a longtime idol and pro on the stage. And I...am not an actor.... and I am absolutely none of those traits.
Ummm... Hi I'm Eva, and this is how I had to suddenly 1) conquer my stage fright, 2) learn how to act, 3) prepare myself to improv voice act, 4) overcome my fear of speaking, and 5) debut as a fake vtuber practically overnight.
Holy shit.
---
Nowadays I know everyone and their mom is a streamer or vtuber and I just personally have no interest doing any of that or ever performing.
Actually, I've honestly always wondered if I have a minor form of a speech impairment. My speaking doesn't flow well in any language and I tend to slur, mispronounce, trip over words, have a terrible accent in every language, and struggle with stringing together thoughts and sentences out loud. That alone gives me so much anxiety, and on top of it all I don't like the sound of my speaking voice though I've been more open to it lately. Interestingly I find these issues less present while singing since I'm guessing it uses a different part of my brain that's able to give me more precise motor control! Karaoke still scary though.
And thEN ADDING FURTHER TO MY STRESS, when my throat condition is bad I'll often suddenly lose my voice or start cracking everywhere or croaking which is super embarrassing. ;;;
It was reading this thread by Khoi Dao, voice of Albedo in Genshin, that helped improve my relationship with speaking back in December 2020. Him embracing his accent, while also becoming a beloved voice actor in his third language, was incredibly inspiring and made me think that maybe my imperfect speech can be valid too.
A few weeks later I tried to voice act for the first time since middle school. ๐ฅบ Back then I was interested in VA but my confidence was crushed soon after. And throughout 2021, I recorded a handful of little Genshin fandubs and had SO MUCH FUN. ๐ With each one, I tried to improve—and the growth is evident because I can't stand the older ones but am proud of the newer ones LOL.
LOOK MA, THE CHARACTER VOICED BY ME IS ON A STICKER (+ pin) ! ! ! ☀️
— Eva ❖ CODEX // Gemini (@waterpixieva) December 18, 2020
icymi i'm singing as Asuka in the rival group SUNRๆSE for @noiszgame's mobage that launches next year and uh spoiler alert, our 1st single is a banger /o/ pic.twitter.com/yjXgzcsTT8
The only way I could conquer doing this livestream while knowing that everyone would hear me speak and try not to be too out-of-character an Asuka, was to prepare as much as humanly possible.
I played the games and got a preview of Asuka's dialogue (not much available yet) from our producer. Listened to my recordings of SUNRaiSE songs since that portrayal was approved by the devs. Practiced and recorded myself trying different tones of voice and played them back to compare. This was really tough because at the time my throat condition was quite bad. ๐ญ
To others this might be overkill, but I wrote a long document of Asuka lines to try to understand how she would talk and express herself, her relationships with the other characters, phrases and reactions for various situations that might come up. The members and I worked together to make an outline but it wasn't strictly scripted and we left sections open for free chatting—still I'd write different alternatives to my parts so that I could change things up if necessary but not have to entirely make it up on the spot. ...Also wrote lines for in case my throat were to suddenly die... Conversations as myself are hard enough; now there was added pressure having to converse as a character in improvised situations and without much source material to reference aaahh.
I began comparing Asuka to characters in anime I was watching. The most inspiration probably came from Marin from My Dress Up Darling—they have a lot in common and funnily enough I was reALLY STRUGGLING with figuring out how to laugh as Asuka since I'm not an 'ahaha' type of laugh-er and can't do a convincing giggle, but I thought doing a slightly condescending, cheeky 'ehehe' inspired by Marin's could be suitable lmao!!
Now, I have no idea how my voice actually came out during the livestream. It's very likely you can be like: Wow, Eva put in all this preparation but the execution has nothing to show for it... No idea whether I ehehe'ed during the stream or not or what voice I even spoke with; I'm too scared to watch the VOD unmuted. ๐ Though I know there was a slight voice crack on my first line, cries...
But I want to think that I performed alright because the feedback from my friends was very kind!!! Was told that I didn't seem nervous at all, that SUNRaiSE's interactions went smoothly, and that "extroverted Eva was a treat." <3
---
What's important though is that I came out of the livestream really happy with the experience and proud of myself.
Can you believe I did that? It was so many things that I had to do for the first time and such a leap in my growth! ๐ญ I did that with at least 90 people watching!! Everyone kept telling me to "just try to have fun" which I thought wouldn't be possible with all the stress—was so consumed by nerves that I seriously couldn't feel anything else and was shaking for the two days leading up—and yet I did end up having fun...! All the other cast members are lovely people and supportive of each other and it was a blast to be with them and bond over this show.
;w; I rambled a lot so thank you for reading if you did, and hope you'll also look forward to my voice officially being in a rhythm game (!!!!!) in the NOISZ STARLIVHT patch in April! ☀️
CD'S FROM @noiszgame KICKSTARTER ARRIVEDDDDD ☀️
— Eva ❖ CODEX // Gemini (@waterpixieva) August 21, 2021
yes i dusted off my Walkman to properly celebrate my first time singing on an official CD release this is freaking cool ✨✨✨ pic.twitter.com/qwk2E4Cgdp
AHHhhHhhh the best VA is here omg
ReplyDeleteYou really pushed yourself through new challenges here! I'm so glad to hear you psyched yourself up and absolutely crushed the livestream. I think it's wonderful that you did studying and preparation to really give fans your best performance as Shining Asuka! You were really brave to do it despite all your hesitation and past fears. Middle school you would admire that you're still growing and getting better at VA!
Ohhh? ๐ Anon, were you at the livestream? I..I don't think I mentioned her catchphrase "one and only shining Asuka!!" anywhere other than saying it on the stream..... Thank you for coming if you did!! My eyes got a little moist just now reading this and remembering it all ;u; Still very proud of myself for this and I'm honored that you think I crushed it ๐
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