I miss the version of me, the version of my life, the version of the world that used to exist back when I wrote blogs regularly......
It used to be easier to be completely honest and emotionally available and simple and selfish, to take things slower and a little more whimsically. Everything I wrote in my 2024 retrospective post I can pretty much still echo now. Thank you to anyone who has been supporting me along; I hope to do justice to your kindness when I can!!!! ;;
Regretfully this isn't a more positive post, but today I'd like to document my recent health complaints and what I'm up to this month!
TL;DR:
I think there's a nerve issue in the left side of my head, and am currently seeing a neurologist to get it diagnosed.
Long story long, too much information version:
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Long story long, too much information version:
It started early 2025 — a recurring slight headache or discomfort on the left side of my head that usually got worse when I was stressed, but especially when staying up late.
It's funny that I used to think it was a superpower of mine that I was good at powering through and staying alert and productive at night. I would bring miracles with my overnight video edits to meet crazy deadlines. Now we know I probably doomed myself. 🤪
My brain might have literally fried itself LMAO. Don't worry, my bosses are aware I'm no longer as powerful as previously supposed and there'll be more boundaries.
It's funny that I used to think it was a superpower of mine that I was good at powering through and staying alert and productive at night. I would bring miracles with my overnight video edits to meet crazy deadlines. Now we know I probably doomed myself. 🤪
My brain might have literally fried itself LMAO. Don't worry, my bosses are aware I'm no longer as powerful as previously supposed and there'll be more boundaries.
I didn't think much of it until May 2025 when I pulled an all-nighter for a business trip, started having that weird headache... but then it wouldn't go away... instead, it got worse and worse...
That was the first big flare-up. My left ear was throbbing. The left side of my face started feeling numb.
My doctor said it was just migraines. I thought maybe ear infection? Urgent care said nope, but maybe tooth infection. Dentist said nope, who knows.
When I had a second flare-up in September, it dawned on me that the numbness could be indicative of a nerve issue. It took 1.5 months of active pursuit (fuck the current state of American healthcare!!!!) until I was able to book an appointment with a neurologist... in December.
So last month I finally had the appointment I was looking forward to!
When I had a second flare-up in September, it dawned on me that the numbness could be indicative of a nerve issue. It took 1.5 months of active pursuit (fuck the current state of American healthcare!!!!) until I was able to book an appointment with a neurologist... in December.
So last month I finally had the appointment I was looking forward to!
Unfortunately they had no answers for me but I'm grateful they're taking the investigation seriously unlike other dismissive doctors I've had. ^^;;
This month I got booked for a gajillion different tests and imaging — running in and out of medical facilities getting multiple ultrasounds, multiple MRI's, EEG test... Yesterday I had so much blood drawn out of me, I don't know when I'll be able to regain all of it lol. I've been feeling super anemic and weak since. (Blog post written from bed ✌️)
Fingers crossed I have a sweet little diagnosis and solution by next month!
The headache's been persisting again since last week, so I've been somewhat scarce since then.
This month I got booked for a gajillion different tests and imaging — running in and out of medical facilities getting multiple ultrasounds, multiple MRI's, EEG test... Yesterday I had so much blood drawn out of me, I don't know when I'll be able to regain all of it lol. I've been feeling super anemic and weak since. (Blog post written from bed ✌️)
Fingers crossed I have a sweet little diagnosis and solution by next month!
The headache's been persisting again since last week, so I've been somewhat scarce since then.
This is going to get dark but uhhh I also don't have the strongest heart and that's been sending ominous signals too lately, probably made even worse from having less blood to pump; so before going to sleep I've been reciting the "magical protection spell" I made up when I was a kid playing pixies, and feeling relieved when I open my eyes in the morning. There's too many cool things I want to finish doing, for better or for worse. :'D
Anyway, thank you if anyone reads this post; I feel quite apologetic that you had to perceive this and if I worry anybody LOL. Will update when I hear more, and may my 9 year old self's magical protection spell bless us all~ 🫶✨
Anyway, thank you if anyone reads this post; I feel quite apologetic that you had to perceive this and if I worry anybody LOL. Will update when I hear more, and may my 9 year old self's magical protection spell bless us all~ 🫶✨
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